Psychology used by MMs to prey on women?

[beenburned]

Even if they are not mentally ill, there are single players and MM that have perfected being a con artist through years of trial and error.

 

Any woman, single or married, can be fooled by their charming charismatic ways.

 

This is one reason I cringe when OW say the BW had to have known her spouse was a cheater.

[Spark1111]

Even if they are not mentally ill, there are single players and MM that have perfected being a con artist through years of trial and error.

 

Any woman, single or married, can be fooled by their charming charismatic ways.

 

This is one reason I cringe when OW say the BW had to have known her spouse was a cheater.

 

I agree! I found him charming and charasmatic enough to marry him!

[Gentlegirl]

Interesting topic. As time went on in my A xMM revealed more and more about himself. I will never know if it were actually true.

 

He revealed that he had a fling with his wife's best friend. That was many years before I met up with him. He did not admit to any infidelity apart from that, but I would stake my life on him being a serial cheater.

 

He also revealed that he and his brothers had been removed from his mother's custody when they were quite young. She had an affair and in those days.... 50 odd years ago was deemed and unfit parent.

 

His father put the boys into boarding college, where xMM says he was continually sexually violated by the priests who ran the school. After he left there, he said he was sexually assaulted by one of his father's lady friends who used to take care of him and his brothers.

 

He always displayed what I thought was an excessive interest in sexuality...probably bordering on sexual addiciton.

 

I can only wonder if these experiences from formative years influenced him in his behaviour in later life. Are sociopaths born or made or a combination of both?

 

Just idle thoughts...

 

Cheers all.

 

GG

 

ps If nothing else the A really opened up my eyes to a whole world of different people and brought me a sense of self awareness I did not have before.

[2sunny]

Sally -

 

You stated staying away from MM that may smell your vulnerabilty...

 

It may be more useful to work on eliminating what THAT vulnerability is - for you.

 

It does help - helps a lot to trust self - and take back some of your own power.

[sally12adams]

Even if they are not mentally ill, there are single players and MM that have perfected being a con artist through years of trial and error.

 

Any woman, single or married, can be fooled by their charming charismatic ways.

 

This is one reason I cringe when OW say the BW had to have known her spouse was a cheater.

 

I must say the recent way that they have perfected it is by being honest about who they are and what situation they are in. Then say they are an honest person stuck in a bad situation, hoping to get a new lease of life by loving the OW with all their life.

 

Sally -

 

You stated staying away from MM that may smell your vulnerabilty...

 

It may be more useful to work on eliminating what THAT vulnerability is - for you.

 

It does help - helps a lot to trust self - and take back some of your own power.

 

You are right. I am vulnerable in that I long to have a loving relationship again with someone that understands me. Sometimes PUAs tend to make it seem as if they know me so well and can speak my language (I have been said to be "different").

 

Though sometimes I just feel dating is so tiring. There are so many "bad" people you need to sift out.

[2sunny]

Have you not realized that each and every person IS "different" - that's what makes us each an individual.

 

Some men tell you what you need to hear in order to get what they may want/need. These men are just dirt bags.

 

The man who truly loves you WILL offer to clean up your throw up when you have the flu and think of you more than himself... And act accordingly!

 

There's a big difference between those two types of men.

 

Words to me - shows not one things that he's capable of being - when his actions shows he has integrity and solid character - that is when a man is worth considering.

 

IF he's married - he's off limits.

 

My healthy reference is for looking for healthy single men. ;-)

 

Never settle! If you're not going to set a high standard for a man - who will?

[sally12adams]

Have you not realized that each and every person IS "different" - that's what makes us each an individual.

 

Some men tell you what you need to hear in order to get what they may want/need. These men are just dirt bags.

 

The man who truly loves you WILL offer to clean up your throw up when you have the flu and think of you more than himself... And act accordingly!

 

There's a big difference between those two types of men.

 

Words to me - shows not one things that he's capable of being - when his actions shows he has integrity and solid character - that is when a man is worth considering.

 

IF he's married - he's off limits.

 

My healthy reference is for looking for healthy single men. ;-)

 

Never settle! If you're not going to set a high standard for a man - who will?

 

What I meant by "different" is like what my friends also say, I'm different and "weird."

 

I usually have a good dose of what's right and wrong. That one EA kind of hit me. Now my boundaries are high up there, especially when it comes to people I know are married.

[2sunny]

Honey - we are ALL weird in our own way! That's just a fact! ;-)

 

I don't know what "normal" is supposed to be - and I don't care to know - that would be boring as @uck.

 

What I DO know is what is right - for ME! It also helps to know what does and doesn't work for me.

 

You can decide those things for yourself. Then stick to them - without any reservations about compromising - for your self worth.

 

That is called a healthy boundary.