Should I just get a dog?

[nevadagirl]

So. I guess I'm getting better? But days like today sucked. So here I am again. I have started to notice that a significant amount of time passes without a thought of the ex (but I figure the true test is when I stop trying to figure out how often I can go without thinking about him and just Stop Thinking About Him) Blah.

 

Today I was very very lonely and tired and trying to finish my schoolwork so I don't **** everything in my life up because I am supposed to graduate in two weeks.

 

I have days where I enjoy just hanging out alone in my apartment. Watching movies playing on the internet working on school. Today was not one of them. So what is this - the agony of the loss fades into just plain old loneliness? This sucks.

 

I used to care about the holidays. But I spent the past two years with the ex. This year I spent Thanksgiving with a co-worker. (My family isn't really big on the holidays so he was what made them meaningful to me)

 

I'm afraid I am becoming incredibly jaded.

 

I want to enjoy being single. I want to enjoy not being in love.

 

I wonder if I had a dog if I'd feel less lonely.

[sunflower11]

You might feel less lonely, but a dog is a dog. And dogs are commitments too. A dog is not going to make you happy and make you forget about your ex. Don't get a dog to help you fill in the void...try to pick up a hobby or an activity. Enroll in some classes, try something new..that's what I am doing and trust me, it helps more than a dog.

[cerridwen]

A dog is a 12-16 year commitment.

Shots, food, vet visits, daily exercise, grooming, consistent attention and the right environment are all part of its care.

You mentioned an apartment and school.

A transitory period isn't ideal for making such a commitment.

Please don't use an animal as a temporary patch for your heartache.

It wouldn't be fair to it.

[solobeary]

Just a suggestion if you're serious about this but your situation is temporary: you can foster cats or dogs from animal shelters. Which is a good thing to do for abandoned animals, and also means that you don't have to make a 12+ year commitment. They stay at your place instead of having to live in a cage at the pound. You just have to look after them and introduce potential foster parents to them. You can choose what age you want, if you choose older ones then they will stay with you for a bit longer and you can get one that is house trained. If there's lots of apartments in your area you'd be able to foster an indoor dog, instead.

 

In general, I know what you mean by "the agony of the loss fades into just plain old loneliness". It sucks. I'm super lonely at the moment, too. I hope this is still a stage off loss, though. As long as we work on rebuilding a life this stage will surely also pass...?

[smokey bear]

Pets do help, but remember a dog is for life not just for a break up lol.

 

They say that people with dogs tend not to get depression.

 

If your looking for company get a cat, they are a lot more loving and easier to care for, you dont need to walk them and they can be left alone inside for hours, dogs tie and restrict you and you have to remember they live 10 odd years.

 

i have a dog absolutely love her but my life has changed now from when i got her, she's 6 and i wish i wasnt so tied down by her.

 

You have to think to the future, would a dog suit what you plan to do with your future.

[davesterr]

You should never get a dog just because you feel lonely.

A dog is a living creature with needs and emotions.

Can get 12-16 years old.

Needs daily walks , food , water excersize attention.

What happens when you find a new boyfriend?

Will you get sick of your dog?

Will you have someone to look after him when you go on dates?

Or will you simply trash your dog and put him in a shelter when you're done feeling sad?

Doing this to a dog is like what your ex did to you.

It will make the dogs life horrible and may be put to sleep.

 

Like i said only get a dog if you want to get a dog.

Don't get one simply because you are lonely.

Don't be selfish and think of your own feelings.

A dog has feelings to and unless you are serious about comitting your life to one for the next 10 years atleast , you shouldn't get one.

 

Also know when you put all your love in a dog.

Aventually the sad truth is , it will die.

The pain from that can't be described.

Just letting you know.

 

Maybe try volunteering at a shelter so you can work with dogs instead of owning one and then bringing it to a shelter when you're done with it and ruining its life.

[nevadagirl]

You should never get a dog just because you feel lonely.

 

 

Maybe try volunteering at a shelter so you can work with dogs instead of owning one and then bringing it to a shelter when you're done with it and ruining its life.

 

So, you are an *******, just letting you know.

 

People get pets because they're lonely - I think that's pretty normal. But to assume I'd throw a dog I came to love away because I was done being lonely is ridiculously ignorant. Who are you? Do you know me?

 

Again, *******.

[davesterr]

Some people get dogs because they are lonely.

Some people get dogs becuz they like to abuse animals.

Some people get dogs so they can make them fight other dogs.

Does this mean the above are all good reasons to get a dog?

No.

 

Like we said , it's never a good idea to get a dog just becuz ur lonely.

ur in school , u will get a job , u might find a new bf.

who is going to look after the dog?

Who is going to take care of him? feed him? walk him? give the dog affection everyday even when you done feeling lonely?

Seriously , unless you devote the next 10 years of your life to ur dog , dont get one.

 

And getting mad at people for giving you advice is stupid.

If you don't care what other people say , then why bother posing here in the first place?

You say i don't know you , yet you feel smart enough to call me names while not even knowing me.

This just shows how ignorant you are to your own actions and that you are mentally unstable to even own a dog.

 

And yes , most people that get dogs for the wrong reasons end up bringing it to the shelter when they feel better or no longer want to commit themselves to taking care of it.

I'm not saying you would be one of them , but i am simply stating that getting a dog for the sole purpose of feeling lonely and filling a void in your life that you ex bf has caused is not a good idea.

In the end it's your life so do whatever you want.

I don't care bothering to help ignorant people cuz it's a waste of time anyway.

Edited December 4, 2011 by davesterr

[BigDumbFoot]

Maybe a cat would be a good idea instead. Their food is much cheaper and they pretty much take care of themselves. All you have to do is clean the litter and replace the food once a day or every other day. They're a lot smaller too! I had a cat through college.. but I also had my ex gf, so I didn't really get it to help with the loneliness.

[stitch702]

Dogs are really helpful...just remember they require a lot of commitment. I am lucky because my cousins own a pair of wonderful german shepards which are very loving and give you a lot of attention. Honestly they have been very instrumental with me dealing with my break up since I've been staying with them through this ordeal. However I do not recommend getting a pet just because of your depression since they do require that you take care of them. Given your position with you graduating in 2 weeks I'd say that you may not be in the right financial situation to take care of one since they require shots, check ups, foods, walking, etc. I too am in your position and have just graduated from nursing school so my life is a little hectic trying to prepare for my boards. So I know that I myself don't have the time to care for an animal in my financial and emotional state. Do you have any friends that own animals? Perhaps they are willing to let you borrow one to kind of get a feel for it. However if you are adamant about getting an animal I'd recommend the German Sheperd Rescue Center in Pahrump. It's about less than an hour drive I believe from the Vegas area. My cousin got his animals there and paid 150 for them and they came with shots, micro-chipped, neutered, and 6 months of free dog training, but YOU have to drop them off over there. Also stop by a dog park...if you are in the Vegas area they have dog parks all around and you can kind of get a feel and talk to the owners to get an idea and some more info. I myself am usually at desert breeze dog park with my cousin and their dogs

[carhill]

I wonder if I had a dog if I'd feel less lonely.

 

My exW took our cat so I adopted a replacement at the local shelter for 20 bucks. Wonderful companion and built-in wildlife control for over 2 years now. I travel a fair amount and he's good to go for up to a week on his own.

 

I like the balance of independence and desire for companionship. Matches my personality pretty well. Maybe someday I'll meet a woman like that.

 

Absent that, OP, you can be your own best friend. Life is a wonderful journey.

[jyoun]

I took in a very old family cat soon after my breakup... not necessarily because of the breakup but because the cat was being neglected and I had just recently bought a house. She had also been in a fight, limping because of an injury and lost a bunch of weight.

 

Because she was a family cat I grew up with her but hadn't seen her in years... she recognized me I think. Took her to a vet on antibiotics, feed her plenty, do the litter, lots of cuddle time on the couch... she's now recovered, jumping around like she's half her age (she's 22 now) and I think happier. It's been good for me too, it's nice coming home to her sweet loving face and knowing she's safer then before.

 

It will be heartbreaking when she dies, but I plan on burying her in my yard under a weeping willow tree spawned from one at our original house. I'd like to think we're both fortunate to be in each others lives and I believe we've helped each other tremendously in lifting each others spirits.

 

I agree with others about "using" a pet to fill some kind of void though. I don't think I'll own another pet because I'm overall against domestication of animals, breeding, purchasing... I feel pets can be good but often they are mistreated. If you feel you need a pet, I'd personally get one from a rescue shelter, properly spayed and treated for any problems, take care of them as you would a family member, never yell, push or abuse them in any way. Take them outside as much as possible but don't leave them out in the cold to get sick to only drag that sickness inside. Just be careful. It can be rewarding but it's a responsibility and you should only take it on if you are ready to do it. You need to take care of yourself first and foremost, of course.

[silvermane187]

If you're asking "should i JUST get a dog?", then no, you shouldn't.