sexual problem

[frustated]

I know this will sound weird but i'm looking for some answers. i'm an adult virgin 22 years old and never had any sexual contact. however, i never seem to orgasm or to feel any kind of sexual pleasure through masturbation. i don't know if it's because i don't know how to masturbate or because there's something wrong with me. I have a boyfriend and he loves me very much when he caresses my hands i feel that i get wet. please help me understand what's going on.

[Tony T]

I hate to see a post go unanswered but in a million years, not being female or that familiar with your situation, I could not give you an answer.

 

I do know there are non-orgasmic women. There are some prescription medications that have been on the market about nine years that do wonders in helping women achieve orgasms who could never do it before. However, that may not be your answer.

 

Masturbation is something people do naturally and experiment with in order to achieve the greatest satisfaction, short of actual sex. If you have been unable to stimulate yourself to that point, there may be problems that must be dealt with medically.

 

I strongly urge you to see a doctor, a female doctor. Explain to her the problem fully. If after an examination and use of medication you get no results, then you may need to consider your problem could have psychological roots. You can get help for this also.

 

Don't be too concerned right now. There's lots of help out there for you.

 

I hope a female in the forum who may have some knowledge or experience in this area will come forward and give you more insight than I can.

[Jenna]

Its hard to say whats going on- because we are all made up so different- and what works for some- doesn't always work for others.

 

I was sexually active for literally years before I had an orgasm- but it happened almost immediately with this one particular man- WOW!!! No wonder I fell in love with him! hehehe

 

It may just be that masterbation doesn't work for you. If you are not comfortable with having sex yet (for what ever reason) you may also have a problem in being comfortable with self pleasure as well- especially if you are abstaining from sex for religious reasons. What I mean here is that if you are feeling any kind of guilt while you are pleasuring yourself- that is a real mood killer for sure.

 

Also- if you have an audience while doing it- you may be experiencing "performance anxiety"- you mentioned that you have a boyfriend- is her present when you are doing it?

 

Even with Tony's lack of knowledge (his words)-he actually made a very good suggestion- see your gynecologist- a female one would be best. Don't be afraid to tell her exactly what you have told us- believe me- she has already heard it all. She can help determine if you have a physical condition that is preventing you from achieving an orgasm- and if you can rule that out- she can give you some ideas about how to reach your "goal."

 

I think I speak for all women- when I say- "You are going to be glad that you did something - once you find out what its all about!!!" WOW!!!

 

Jenna

 

I hate to see a post go unanswered but in a million years, not being female or that familiar with your situation, I could not give you an answer.

 

I do know there are non-orgasmic women. There are some prescription medications that have been on the market about nine years that do wonders in helping women achieve orgasms who could never do it before. However, that may not be your answer.

 

Masturbation is something people do naturally and experiment with in order to achieve the greatest satisfaction, short of actual sex. If you have been unable to stimulate yourself to that point, there may be problems that must be dealt with medically. I strongly urge you to see a doctor, a female doctor. Explain to her the problem fully. If after an examination and use of medication you get no results, then you may need to consider your problem could have psychological roots. You can get help for this also. Don't be too concerned right now. There's lots of help out there for you. I hope a female in the forum who may have some knowledge or experience in this area will come forward and give you more insight than I can.

[Taressa]

First, congratulations on having the courage to ask.

 

First allow me to ask if you've done the masturbating alone, in a private place. It's much harder to orgasm if you're worried about someone else's reaction.

 

So I suggest you try first in the privacy of your bedroom at night.

 

Also, try for clitoral stimulation before diving into (excuse the pun) vaginal stimulation with a dildoe. Just massage around the whole area applying different pressures, different speeds, perhaps even wear a sock on your hand to feel a different.

 

You might also want to visit your bookstore self-help section to look at books on women's orgasm. You'll find several exist specifically relating to masturbation. You'll also find some good erotica that may help you in fantasizing while you please yourself.

 

Be patient with yourself and give it time. Experiment a little to learn what pleases you.

I know this will sound weird but i'm looking for some answers. i'm an adult virgin 22 years old and never had any sexual contact. however, i never seem to orgasm or to feel any kind of sexual pleasure through masturbation. i don't know if it's because i don't know how to masturbate or because there's something wrong with me. I have a boyfriend and he loves me very much when he caresses my hands i feel that i get wet. please help me understand what's going on.