jealous friend

[darkmoon]

I have some friendships that are fine but I sent a Christmas card to one old friend and I know she will call me. I broke away from her ages ago because she was not very good at making her way in the world - and didn't ever try.

 

She would expect alot of bail-outs from me including my moral support, so for an entire year I had twice-a-day hour-long calls about her boyf, and at one time she expected money-help though her sister was more well-off than me. The friendship ended then with bad feelings.

 

I know there's a recession, I want to suggest she rents out her spare room, - people do - but I know she looks as my life as peachy and none of my ideas ever have appealed to her. Instead, as if I've never suffered, she's inclined to say "it's alright for you" and go back to self-pity and non-solutions to her life.

[cerridwen]

Hmm.

It doesn't sound like you find it much of a friendship at all, so why the Christmas card?

 

If she calls, keep it polite but brief.

Start the conversation with "It's nice hearing from you but I must say I'm on my way out and only have a few minutes."

 

No one is obligated to continue a conversation in which one feel demeaned.

Nor are you required to listen for hours on end.

If the suggestion of renting a room will fall on deaf ears, don't bother.

If you find her self-pitying and irksome, consider not sending a card next year and sever ties with this "friend" completely.

It's the holiday season and we get sentimental, but that doesn't change the fact that some people only know how to have a one-sided friendship.

Edited December 5, 2011 by cerridwen

[Seneca]

You are a good friend. But do not burden yourself if your friend does not accept your wisdom. Some people are set on their ways.

 

If she does not accept your advice, then just be her friend and not her adviser.