sardeen Posted December 5, 2011 Share Posted December 5, 2011 Well, one more day and it will be a month since my ex walked away from more, ignored me and turned her back on me.I went through so many emotions and was so stressed, but I honestly feel better. When I last visited her facebook and twitter profiles, I did not cry at all and actually had this feeling I can not explain. It was not a feeling of indifference as I still do care very much about her, but I no longer have this hope she will walk back into my life and I feel better. I realize how I just could not be myself and feeling there was something wrong with me. I remember feeling better about going to work or hanging out with friends because I was not afraid to say and act like how I want. Everyone else realized I had a good heart and were mature enough to tell me if I did cross the line. My ex however could not. She bottled it up until it she decided to leave me, gave me a second chance and then even though I was clearly making changes, abandoned me and convinced her family and mutual friends to follow suit. I am tired of speculating whether she is interested in someone else or if she just did not love me to begin with. Why did I want to be with such a person? Ill admit to not being perfect, but all I can do now is find someone more compatible and not make the same mistakes. I have a good resume seeing how I waited to date for the first time and it lasted really long. Not many people can say that, not to be cocky or anything. Again, I still love her, but I really do not see the point of wasting so much energy when I can put energy into contributing to the world. It also helps seeing that people have been through so much worse, including my mom, and still continue to be well adjusted people. Lately, I find myself just feeling free to be who I am and my interactions with other people are proof that I am not this evil guy she is portraying me to be, I have a good heart. Im also not pressued into thinking about having kids by age 25 and owning her company. I can now focus on my dreams and maybe I can find someone who fill be there, if I do not, it is not a big deal as long as I am happy with myself. We had a fun run, but I need to be happy and not fall into her trap. She had many people abandon her and I was there with my shoulder soaking in every tear, yet she is abandoning me the same way, to hell with that. It also doesnt help that I am starting to become interested in a girl who enjoys my company. I dont plan on dating her or anyone until I am really ready, but I am enjoying being her friendship and am interested to see where it goes. Things are just looking good so far and I dont want to tarnish it. I am so used to being rejected by people as I am a bit weird, so maybe thats why this break up has not been as hard as I thought it would be. Link to post Share on other sites
quankanne Posted December 5, 2011 Share Posted December 5, 2011 someone on my Facebook account posted some pretty wise words, they go something like this: I didn't give up because I stopped caring, I gave up when I realized you had stopped caring ... Link to post Share on other sites
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