thrillaveza Posted December 5, 2011 Share Posted December 5, 2011 I'll try to make this short (if you need anymore details just ask). Me 22 and Her 19. I met this girl that was in my class last semester. Developed a crush then befriended her. Once I got to know her, it wasn't her looks that I was more attracted to. We messaged each other via fb which then she eventually asked for my number. We talked a lot in the summer and got classes together this semester. Hung out from time to time over the past couple of months. Been wanting to tell her how I felt but kept it inside (stupid me). She went out on a date with a guy (whom previously hurt her) and so I felt I have to let her know. I told her how I felt, she friend-zoned me. I felt/been feeling like crap for the past couple of weeks. We no contacted 2 weeks after I told her (she wasn't in class and I felt I was the reason to it). I decided to message her. we started to talk. I just feel I'm in a big decision whether I should just tell her that I can't just be her friend for a while cause it hurts or should I just continue this and wait it out. In hopes that she would come around (that's the wishful thinking me talking). what should i do? Link to post Share on other sites
TheFinalWord Posted December 6, 2011 Share Posted December 6, 2011 (edited) I'll try to make this short (if you need anymore details just ask). Me 22 and Her 19. I met this girl that was in my class last semester. Developed a crush then befriended her. Once I got to know her, it wasn't her looks that I was more attracted to. We messaged each other via fb which then she eventually asked for my number. We talked a lot in the summer and got classes together this semester. Hung out from time to time over the past couple of months. Been wanting to tell her how I felt but kept it inside (stupid me). She went out on a date with a guy (whom previously hurt her) and so I felt I have to let her know. I told her how I felt, she friend-zoned me. I felt/been feeling like crap for the past couple of weeks. We no contacted 2 weeks after I told her (she wasn't in class and I felt I was the reason to it). I decided to message her. we started to talk. I just feel I'm in a big decision whether I should just tell her that I can't just be her friend for a while cause it hurts or should I just continue this and wait it out. In hopes that she would come around (that's the wishful thinking me talking). what should i do? It's up to you bro. Personally, I would distance myself. You told her how you felt, if something changes on her end it's her responsibility to let you know. I would not contact her unless you happen to pass each other; even then I would keep it very casual. Don't sit next to her in class, don't keep text messaging her. I would remove her as a friend on FB if you have to. The reason I say this is you have to heal and move on. Always assume in these "friend zone" situations that nothing is going to change. Base all of your decisions regarding your interactions with her on that premise. Is hanging around her and hearing her talk about other guys going to help you heal? If not, don't worry about what she thinks anymore, worry and look out for yourself. Always assume that it will be nothing more than friends. Don't continue interacting thinking there will be more. Stick to that unless she makes it blatantly clear that she has changed her mind. My two golden rules with this friend zone stuff (it's happened to me) 1) Never assume she will change her mind and base all of your decisions off that 2) Don't put her first anymore, but yourself first, i.e. wondering if she is doing okay and texting...i know it's rough. But the only chance you have for them to change their mind is if they see what life is like without you in it. Never assume that she will change her mind, but if anything will change her mind, it would be realizing what she lost. Good luck! Edited December 6, 2011 by TheFinalWord Link to post Share on other sites
KathyM Posted December 6, 2011 Share Posted December 6, 2011 Don't waste your time on this one. She's only interested in a friendship. You obviously want more than that. You've already told her how you felt. She wasn't interested in being more than just a friend. Next time, be more aggressive from the start and ask a girl out early on. If you don't make a move early on, they will see you as just a friend, and it's hard to move out of that role once a girl puts you there. Link to post Share on other sites
BillieAnn Posted December 7, 2011 Share Posted December 7, 2011 Leave it on her to contact you! Link to post Share on other sites
Author thrillaveza Posted December 9, 2011 Author Share Posted December 9, 2011 Oh so I guess it's not with a guy who had recently hurt her, but it is with a guy who is more clingy than a leech. And by that I mean he's always liking every status update and comment anyone puts on her facebook wall type (idk i would find that annoying). And this is coming from me who has had his share of being that clingy guy once upon a time. But yeah, I do agree with the whole having her message or talk to me first and what not. The last time I'll see her and probably forever ( cause i know if i even try to propose to hang out or get lunch whatever she'll probably not own up to it ) would be this upcoming Monday. I'm kind of picking between these options "Idk if I can just be this. It hurts knowing that this is all i am going to be blah blah blah, I'm going to have to let you go". I have another one that's similar, but it gives her an ultimatum, where I'd say something like "Idk if I can be just friends with you. It hurts blah blah blah would there be some chance that deep down inside, you would feel the same way about me?" or basically just brush all it off, and carry on. oh and thank you! Link to post Share on other sites
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