Questions about behavior & cocaine use

[Bella35]

Hi. I have no idea where to begin...I'm looking for insight into my boyfriend's actions. They may or may not be a result of cocaine use, but I have a feeling its the later. So here it goes.

 

We've been living together for 10 years. He recently started a new job and as a result we purchased a 2nd car. Wonderful, right? I thought so.

 

Here is a summary of his actions over the last 3 months.

 

• He regularly comes home hours after he says he'll be home.
  
• He doesn't tell me where he's been or who he's out with. I get the "I was out with friends".
  
• He goes out on a Friday night and says he'll be home 1 or 2 am but then doesn't show up until 5 or 6am if not later than that with no good explanation as to where he's been.
  
• Somehow he never has any money to give me for bills and is always in the red come Monday.
  
• We used to go out on the weekends but now he leaves me at home and goes out on his own and I have no clue who his friends are.
  
• After having a job for 3 months he somehow doesn't have it anymore.
  
• His breath is absolutely horrible; I mean horrible to the point its difficult sitting next to him.
  

I took his car to work this morning and in the side compartment I found a small clear ziplock bag (like the ones spare buttons come in) and a square piece of paper folded in half (looks like a triangle) with each side folded in. It looks like a mini envelope. And inside I found specks of white powder.

 

 

I would appreciate your insight and comments. If this is what I have the feeling it is ways to best deal with the situation would also be helpful.

 

 

I know if I confront him on this he'll deny it, and we've had more problems in our relationship the last 2 1/2 months than we've had in all 10 years. So I guess the next step would be to end it, problem is we're in a lease together and we bought a car together. Legally speaking, I'm probably screwed and I would hate to move out of where we're living as I don't have money for another security deposit and I love my condo.

 

 

Thanks in advance!

Traci

[carhill]

Signs of Drug Use: Stimulants (crack cocaine, cocaine, methamphetamine, crystal meth)

 

• Dilated pupils
  
• Dry mouth
  
• Drug nose
  
• Runny nose
  
• Sinus/nasal problems
  
• Nose Bleeds
  
• Bad breath
  
• Frequent lip licking
  
• Fidgeting, has a hard time sitting still
  
• No interest in food
  
• No interest in sleep
  
• Feelings of irritability
  
• Acting argumentative
  
• Acting nervous
  
• Very talkative but the conversation often lacks continuity; changes subjects rapidly
  
• Hyperactivity
  
• Euphoria
  

 

How long is the lease yet to run and what are the terms for early disposition?

 

Did you co-sign a loan/lease for the car?

 

Contact your local chapter of NarAnon for more information and support.

 

Welcome to LS

[Bella35]

The lease runs through June 2012 and I'm the primary on the car with his as the secondary. I can't refinance the car until 6 months into the loan.

 

The only signs I've seen are the bad breath, acting argumentative, and a runny nose. He had an upper respiratory infections about 2 weeks ago, and we smoke outside so we're in and out of the cold a lot.

 

He comes home when I'm still asleep so I couldn't say he does or doesn't have any of the other signs.

[carhill]

What's the grocery bill look like lately? Did he used to snack at home and now doesn't? People know each others habits pretty good after ten years. Use other historical behaviors as canaries.

 

Until you figure this out, be sure to check the obvious places of your vehicle for contraband before going out, presuming he has access to it. Better safe than sorry.

 

The folks at NarAnon can help in more detail. They're there to support and educate family and friends. If it's nothing, then it is. Plastic baggies with white powder in cars isn't a good sign. It's not sugar.

[Feelin Frisky]

Caught. It could also be meth amphetamine. It causes people to clench their teeth and experience dry mouth and with priorities being what they are, oral hygiene goes down the tubes. Foul breath is not atypical. He definitively seems to be "in the life"--meaning burning the candle at both ends, doing drugs and alcohol and nothing else in the way of building a healthy path.