amethyste Posted December 5, 2011 Share Posted December 5, 2011 I feel like writing these things because I haven't posted in a while. Funny… I don't even know how to start. I've been extremely busy – and thank God for that! The fact that I constantly have something to do – going to Uni, studying, doing all kind of research projects and presentations, working, taking care of the house – has definitely helped me. I don't think I have any advices to give, or any wise words to say (except for “I still miss my ex, but my aim is getting better.” Or a cheer-up thingie a friend has told me: “No, I'm not single, I'm in a LDR because my boyfriend lives in the future.”), so please excuse me for that. As I was saying in the beginning, I feel the need to write a couple of things. So, it's been 6 months of NC – pretty awesome if you ask me. To me, it's a big accomplishment – not the fact that it's been 6 months of NC, but the fact that I've seen I can do it. Exactly as it was before, my mood varies a lot. Sometimes I miss him & remember only the cute things, sometimes I get depressed, sometimes I'm angry, sometimes I don't care, and finally, sometimes I'm too busy to even think about the past. Even though I interact with lots of people, sometimes, a stupid feeling of loneliness gets me. This is when I start missing him, when I realize that my best friend, the one I used to share my feelings & ideas with is gone. Anyway, I usually try to ignore these feelings and to think about something else. A while ago, a friend sent me a picture (Fb profile picture) of my ex. She said it's a “good-morning surprise”. Hah. By the way, I didn't ask her to spy on him or tell me if she finds out something new. The picture didn't bother me, but it was strange to see him after all this while. I was kinda annoyed that he was all happy and smiling, but that was all. I have no curiosities left. I still care about him in a way, but I don't wanna know anything about him anymore. I don't care what he's doing. Sometimes I hope that he'll understand the things he put me trough, but if this will ever happen, I won't know. In the end I'd like to say that I'll always remember what Graceful said – that I should picture my heart as a cross-stitch grid (because I love cross-stitching), made out of many, many little squares, and their number keeps increasing as I grow. My heart is limitless. When I was in that relationship, my ex occupied plenty of those squares, but now he occupies only a couple. I think he'll always be there like this, like a tiny square stitched on my heart. Thanks for reading! I salute you! Link to post Share on other sites
Gdunkman Posted December 5, 2011 Share Posted December 5, 2011 A while ago, a friend sent me a picture (Fb profile picture) of my ex. She said it's a “good-morning surprise”. It was so stupid thing to do, if someone did this to me, I won't even know what to call him a friend or an enemy! Link to post Share on other sites
HappyFlower Posted December 5, 2011 Share Posted December 5, 2011 It was so stupid thing to do, if someone did this to me, I won't even know what to call him a friend or an enemy! Agreed. Why would your friend think that would be a good surprise for you? Congrats on 6 months amethyste! I hope one day I can get there too! Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts