Complications.. head and heart.

[Million.to.1]

I just broke N/C and emailed my Ex about a BBQ that I had given/lent him only 2 weeks before our BU.

 

I was short and to the point just informing him that my friend was going to come and pick it up.

 

As I have chosen to go Low contact rather than No contact, as we have many mutual friends and I do hope that once I am actually over him, we could still stay on friendly terms. I feel that cutting all these ties may help with my healing in the short term, but also feel that it is so dramatic, and it doesn't need to be.

We put each other on restricted profiles on FB at my request when we broke up. That means we only see info that is made "public"

 

After he received the email about the BBQ and replied that it was no problem, he posted this publicly on FB.

 

 

It's a song we both know and like, and now it's our reality.

 

I feel so hurt. I wish that I just didn't care enough to have to go N/C. I wish that I could just be OK with our break up and just accept the reasons of why it wouldn't/couldn't work and not have to resort to N/C as a way to cope.

 

It sux.

[Kamila]

It's a very nice song. Only people going through a break-up and wanting to cut contact know what it really means.

 

On the one hand, you hurt the one that still wants to be your 'friend' by going no contact, but on the other hand you want to break free, because being just a friend hurts so much.

 

And it's not meant to hurt the other, you just want to take care of yourself and forget/diminish the heartbreak.

[davesterr]

I know how you feel.

I wish i could stay best friends with my ex.

But in the end it's just not possible.

Hearing about her life and who she is dating would kill me.

And when your ex is still the one you love but isn't yours , you become like water.

Where your ex is the cup.

You just turn into the cup to make sure you do not upset your ex.

 

Instead of being yourself , telling your own bold jokes or doing stuff that your ex may not like , you still do it.

But in the end that's what made your ex like you.

You just being yourself.

 

But now whenever i used to talk to my ex as friends.

I would think 10 minutes worrying what to say.

To make sure she wouldn't get mad or dislike me.

And it was stressing me like crazy.

I was no longer myself.

I became someone who analized my ex and tried to create an exact copy of what i thought she wanted , even just to be her friend.

 

Anyways what im trying to say is , if you can't feel comfy around your ex as friends.

If you can't just be you for who you are and have fun without stressing whether saying the wrong things could lead to never getting back together.

Well then you are just not able to be friends.

How can you be friends if you still want to get back together?

If you are still hurt and all you wanna say is: I love you.

And hearing about your ex seeing someone else would simply break you.

You can't.

 

And i know this sucks because i broke up on good terms with my ex too.

But for now , untill we are completely moved on.

Can we only live for ourselves without creating extra pain.

Life right now is hard enough on it's own.

Even if mutual friends complicated things.

 

I don't know if sticking to nc will aventually ruin the friendship i have right now with my ex.

And that she will one day see me as a stranger.

But you know something?

True friends last forever.

It doesn't matter if you dont talk for 6 months or a whole year.

Because when you do , it will be like old times again.

You don't have to stress or wonder when your friend will come online.

Like im sure we all do with our ex and freak out when they log in on skype.

 

My advice is to just look out for yourself.

If you can be friends then by all means do it.

But if it hurts you then you gotta take care of yourself first.

If that means sacrificing the friendship if that unfortunate event happens.

Well then let it be.

I think if you truely love someone , as lover or as ur friend.

Then it doesn't matter how much time lapse before you reunite.

Because if you both do , they it will be all good in the end.

Then again the ex said they would love you forever.

So im not sure whether you can stay friends forever either.

But right now that's not something you should worry about.

Since you yourself comes first.