BoredAgain Posted December 6, 2011 Share Posted December 6, 2011 Today marks one week of No Contact, and I feel surprisingly good. For the first day or two I had trouble eating and sleeping, but that's now completely gone. I still think about her, but that's dying pretty quickly too. I'm actually at a point where I'm excited to start dating around (though I'm not planning on jumping right in, I have other matters to deal with first). Some very quick background: Three weeks ago, I was in a very happy long-term relationship with a 23yo girl I've been dating for 4.5 years, but something quickly changed in her. For about 1.5 weeks she was hot & cold and our relationship was on & off. but I ended that. I sat her down and told her how I felt: I wanted to work things out, but she also has to be willing to work things out. Well, she wasn't, and I told her that I loved her so I was letting her go. But here's the most shocking thing for me: Since our final conversation one week ago, I have not had a single urge to contact her. In past break-ups, I remember the urge to call was agonizingly painful and I'd come up with any excuse to do so. Now I actually have a good excuse to call (I have a ton of her stuff to get back to her) but I'd really rather not. I honestly don't feel any anger towards her, and I'm not depressed at all. I'm pretty sure she's already jumped into a relationship with a new guy, but I don't feel hurt or jealous. I'm even at the point where I'm not sure if I'd want her back even if she came begging. In past relationships it took me A LOT longer to get to this point, so I'm baffled at how quick this is going for me. So is this a bad thing? Am I really getting over things or am I setting myself up for a meltdown in the future? I really do feel fine about the whole thing... it's just weird that it's happening so fast. Link to post Share on other sites
Popehappycat Posted December 6, 2011 Share Posted December 6, 2011 The fact that you ended it on your terms is probably why it seems easier this time around. You're not consumed by the "why" because you already know. If you're not happy, there's no point sticking it out. Consider yourself lucky, but not bullet proof, so limit your interactions. You dont want to do, say or hear anything that can bring you down again. And though you only suspect she might be with a new guy, if that's the case, you don't want somebody like that anyways. Stay strong, stay positive, learn anything you can from this and apply it in the future to a happier, healthier relationship! Link to post Share on other sites
Philosoraptor Posted December 7, 2011 Share Posted December 7, 2011 Be prepared for it to hit you. For me it typically took about 2 weeks. No worries at all then I was full of crazy. Hopefully it doesn't hit you, but keep a support system ready just in case. Link to post Share on other sites
SelfCentered Posted December 7, 2011 Share Posted December 7, 2011 Hmm well, not trying to discourage you from progressing because obviously that's a good thing! But the post-breakup state of mine for me is one of extremes. Either extreme happiness or extreme sadness. You might just be experiencing a few "good days". I only say this because if a "bad" day comes along soon, it might feel 10x worse because you thought you were "in the clear" as it were. Link to post Share on other sites
Philosoraptor Posted December 7, 2011 Share Posted December 7, 2011 Yep, that's how it hit me. I've become pretty transparent to my emotions and allow them to flow freely. I've progressed very fast and am very happy due to it. I decided not to hold myself back. If I'm sad, I'm sad. That lasted awhile, now I'm happy and not really saddened at all when I have thoughts of her, which are rare in themselves. Link to post Share on other sites
Author BoredAgain Posted December 7, 2011 Author Share Posted December 7, 2011 Am worried about it just hitting me all of a sudden. However, it's not like these are "good days" and "bad days." Instead it seems like a steady upward slope... I felt miserable the first day of NC, it felt like the day took forever to end. But now my days seem pretty normal. Like I said, I still miss her and think about her, but that's been fading quickly. I don't know. I guess I'll have to wait and see. Link to post Share on other sites
flow15 Posted December 7, 2011 Share Posted December 7, 2011 I don't mean to discourage you either, but I should warn you... I too felt great after the first week, but now its been a month and I feel worse than I did! Some days I feel great, others I feel sooo low...and it feels a hundred times worse, because I thought I was fine! It just takes time, so just be prepared... Link to post Share on other sites
davesterr Posted December 7, 2011 Share Posted December 7, 2011 sometimes your mind plays tricks on you and supress your true feelings. my best advice is to use the days u feel good to the fullest. do whatever you want to do. because on the days u feel like crap it will be hard to even get out of bed. so aslong as u feel good then good for you. make use of it. but don't run in front of ur feet because emotions are a tricky thing. one day our brain tells us were fine. the next were heartbroken. it comes and goes. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts