Would you sacrifice your beliefs for your partner?

[ZimboGon]

Well, my ex and i would always talk about the idea of raising a family together. I was raised jewish, but i renounced my faith and am atheist now. My ex however is christian, but she questions her faith in god pretty frequently.

 

Anyways, we would talk about how we would raise our kids sometimes, and she was very much set on them being christian. Of course, i would disagree and go with judaism (I believe, even though i have no faith it would be good for kids to be involved in something due to the community).

 

I don't think i would be willing to back down on this subject, though. Anyone elses thoughts or situations?

[quankanne]

both of us are Christian ~ him a lapsed Episcopalian with strong Catholic leanings he won't admit, me Catholic. When we first talked about marriage 20 years ago, he said he would be totally fine with me raising any children in my faith, I'm guessing because he's old-school and believes that Mama is the one that sets the standard when it comes to modeling spirituality.

 

however, if he had a problem with my faith or me with his, I would not have bothered getting married, because while I think there's always room for finding common ground, no one should force another person to convert. Because then the relationship is less about equality in ways that count, and more about control.

 

the beauty of the Jewish faith is that it is the "elder" to Christian faith; our faith is very much based in Judaism, though people tend to overlook that when it suits them. My thought is that should you end up with another Christian partner, both of you have so much to offer your children, provided you impart your faith with respect to not only each other, but your children. Because those kids are gonna hit the jackpot when it comes to knowing the history of their faith, IMO!

[D-Lish]

If you've renounced your faith and she questions hers- why would you want to raise your children according to either religion?

 

I wish my parents would have trusted me enough to make my own decisions regarding what spiritual or non-spititual path I wanted to take. Forcing religion down my throat only made me bitter and rebellious as a child.

 

If you've renounced your faith, why would it be important for you to force your children to embrace something you've disregarded?

 

You could always expose them to both religions and foster a more open environment that involves choices they are free to make for themselves.

[Codez]

This is where religion and belief take a hard toll on relationships.

 

Giving children the right to express free will is most beneficial.

Edited December 10, 2011 by Codez

[Breezy Trousers]

This sounds like a power struggle to me.

 

There's no struggle in unconditional love (God). If there's struggle here, then you're using reliigion as a form of tribal identification, and tribal identification is always about attack, not unconditional love.

 

If religion is causing this much trouble for you, screw it. Focus on teaching your kids unconditional love and forgiveness. They'll be better off for it.

[thatone]

i've had relationships with christians, being agnostic. admittedly only catholics, not protestants. never dated anyone from any other religion. honestly, i wouldn't get along with jews or muslims. i eat bacon and eggs for breakfast a lot .

 

i'm fine with other people's beliefs. i won't be converted, but i'm not out to convert the world either.

 

and my reason for denouncing protestants is protestant religions are for the most part more confrontational and political than older religions are. the catholic church is rolling in money they don't need to come off as judgmental to fill the seats every sunday by getting themselves in the paper.

[carhill]

I like the way my parents handled it. My father had a strong Catholic faith which my mother accepted, she being a far less pronounced Lutheran. His bend was that she wasn't required to participate in it unless she freely chose to, and she did on occasion, like at the holidays or when I advanced in the church. Neither of them pushed their faiths onto me, though I was schooled privately through high school in Catholic schools. Once I became an adult and left the church behind, neither parent ever attempted to convince or shame me into returning. They accepted my decision. The last time I set foot inside a Catholic church was 26 years ago at my father's funeral.

 

This is what teamwork is about. Either you've got it or you don't.

 

If my partner was of strong faith, I would accept it and expect that my perspective gain and receive equal respect. Otherwise, bye bye. If there isn't synergy, there's nothing.

[BoredAgain]

I don't think I could ever get behind the idea of "raising a child as a Christian" or "raising a child as Jewish" or whatever. Doesn't it make more sense to simply raise a child with critical-thinking skills and let them make their own decisions when they're old enough?

[thatone]

I don't think I could ever get behind the idea of "raising a child as a Christian" or "raising a child as Jewish" or whatever. Doesn't it make more sense to simply raise a child with critical-thinking skills and let them make their own decisions when they're old enough?

 

that was my brother's opinion, he actually dated the sister of my last catholic ex.

 

personally i'm not against that. there are social aspects to religion that are good for kids to learn. and they will grow up to make their own decisions eventually anyway.