FB and 'mutual' friends...

[JC14]

Hey guys.

 

I still have some friends of my ex (blocked her;)) on Facebook. We have hung out a couple of times and they are really nice people. After the relationship we don't really have that much contact, other than congratulating each other on birthday's.

 

Now the problem. I am worried that one day I will see my ex pop-up in one of their profile pictures (I can only see their profile pics in the friends list, because I blocked them on chat and the newsfeed). I am afraid to be setback by it. I don't want to offend anyone, and it would make me sad to loose the only form of contact with them.

 

Should I delete these 'mutual' friends as a sort of preemptive strike?

 

Thank you guys in advance.

[shawn923]

It depends on who the friends are and if theyre loyal to u. I put a thread similar to this. And what ive heard is its best to get rid of those friends, IF they are good friends of ur ex. I mean, any random friend though that u 2 have will be fine. But if they are friends to the point where they will show up in her prof pics, then delete. Because ur ex's friends are NOT ur friends. They will side with her if need be. So i mean if just seeing a pic of ur ex is too much to handle, i say delete them.

[Popehappycat]

If all you're exchanging is obligatory happy birthdays, then drop them. I mean really dude, it's Facebook, did you really need to ask?

[JC14]

Thanks guys.

 

@shawn923: I don't know if its too much to handle, but I do know I rather see nothing. Right now I am on full NC, just because I feel it is the only way for me to fully heal. If I will see a new picture of her I know I will overanalyze it. So, I won't be back to square one, but I do feel its going to cause unessecarry heardache.

 

@Popehappycat: I guess I just needed to hear it. You are right, it is just Facebook. They will understand. And if they don't, honestly, I don't care...

[Philosoraptor]

I had it happen. Shortly after things ended a mutal friend put up pictures and tagged her in it. She was of course with another guy (the one she thought might be a better match for her and the one she went to when we were separated before) and that set me back. I informed the friends that for my own healing I will need to remove them from facebook and they were understanding. No big deal. Luckily it was only two people for me, not sure how many you have to deal with.

[maryslamb]

It sounds like these people aren't friends. You don't owe these people anything.

People who you have exchanged a few convos and possibly drinks with, you are worried about how they would feel about you deleting them, than worry about your own feelings.

 

I'm sure they would understand .. some probaly wouldn't even notice that you deleted them. Unless they thought about you, looked you up, and seen you disappeared. And in that instance I'm sure they would dissmiss they fact of getting deleted.

 

Please put yourself first.

[J0N]

Luckily for me, my ex and I met in college. We are also both from different states. Our breakup occurred several months after college was over. As for mutual friends, the ones that started out as her friends and I knew I probably wouldn't see again I jettisoned. I thought about what to do for a while and finally decided that no good could come from remaining friends with them, ESP if I was just going to wish them happy birthday. Most of these people scattered all over the country anyway, so for me it was easy to let them go.