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new member... desperate for anything


HawkeyeMS

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I can't even go into the details right now... I've been alone for about 4 or 5 months since she left me and moved to TX.

 

There are tons of details... The story is deep and if I give any more details at this moment, other than those you can deduce from my opening line, I'm sure I will wrench my heart right of my chest... Which is basically the feeling that I have been living through every day since the final split, as well as for some time before she even left...

 

I guess I can tell you that she really dragged out the break for a long time. It was a 1.5 year relationship and 1.3 years of it was the breaking up stage. Oh and she was my first. I had kissed like 2 or 3 times before she and I got involved... Once before that I held a girl's hand from the car to her door, and then got my second or third kiss. That was like 2 or 3 years before this girl and I hooked up...

 

So yeah basically looking at a really ****ing depressed mofo here.

 

I don't know what I want... I do and I don't...

 

Just complete positivity I suppose. I will probably give more details tomorrow when I'm in a better mood... Scratch that, if I'm in a good mood I won't bother because I know just dwelling on this would sink my ship in the blink of an eye.

 

It's going to be alright, isn't it? I'm sure she really wasn't my soul mate... This thing happens to a lot of people all the time, probably everyone, and most of them have gotten through it and found a resolving point, right?

 

I'm sure of it, intellectually... But emotionally, I am not, and that probably stems from my lack of emotional development due to being a virgin till I was 25... Just learning how to deal with all these emotions is killing me.

 

Just share a story I guess or tell me something cool that will put a smile on my face or give me a little more hope for the future... I'm going out of my freaking mind because I want to get through it, I still love her, I feel ashamed and humiliated, want to talk to other girls but don't want to because I would feel like I was doing something that would hurt her, blah blah blah, stuck in a rut of my own self-pity....

 

help, that's what I'm asking for, I suppose... Just help...

 

Thank you,

 

M.

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Hi there Hk, I Get from your post that you are horrible emotional pain, it is truely a dark place, one that I was in too for a long while, and even though i knew it would one day be better at the time it seemed neverending. No matter what age or experience we all at some stage I think go through this, and as painful as it is I think it teaches us how to be emotionally strong, because it feels like if you can get through this you can get through anything.

What helped me was.....no contact, although i did struggle with this one!!

Lots of self help books

Seeing friends

Boxercise

Funny movies/tv comedys

Loveshack!

4 mths isnt that long to get over a break up so dont be too hard on yourself about meeting someone new just yet, you need to be ok on your own before you can start something with someone else.

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