He doesn't want kids

[Amy]

I have been in a relationship with a man that I adore for eight months. Two months ago he moved to another state, because of his job. I won't be finishing school for three more years. I'm twenty-five and want to have children later in life. He's the same age, but doen't want to have any, ever. I can handle a three year long-distance relationship, especially if there is a chance that he might want kids later. I'm afraid of staying with him for years only to find out that he will never change his mind. He had made his decision based on the fact that his occupation will keep him extremely busy. He is a wonderful man and makes me incredibly happy. I just don't know if I should wait this one out or not. Please, any advice would be great.

 

--Amy

[Lilac]

Amy,

 

I am in a relationship with a man who a year and a half ago when he first met me was dead set against children. He has recently told me that he would love me to have his children.

 

It's something to think about. It may not happen to you, but are you willing to wait? Is he worth it? Maybe you should ask him if he is dead-set against them or is maybe teetering??

 

Good luck!

 

Lilac

[Tony T]

If he told you he doesn't want children because of his job, he is just plain full of crap!!!

 

Now, there are a multitude of other reasons he may not want them...so many we don't need to go into them here. However, staying with a man hoping he will change his mind about such a serious subject is irrational.

 

If you are into gambling, buy some lottery tickets and wait around for your numbers to hit. But if you really want children, you are barking up the wrong tree with this guy...and I give him very high marks for being straight with you ahead of time about not wanting them, low marks for his reason.

 

Happy husband hunting!!!

[Re: He doesn't want kids]

Amy, I am in my late 20's. A couple of years ago, I wasn't a big fan of having kids either. (although for a different reason than your boyfriend's) But people change, I have altered my standpoint a little these days on this topic. There is a significant difference between the concepts of "having kids" and "having kids with the woman I love". Does he love you enough to want children to be the extended part of the relationship? thats the question.

I have been in a relationship with a man that I adore for eight months. Two months ago he moved to another state, because of his job. I won't be finishing school for three more years. I'm twenty-five and want to have children later in life. He's the same age, but doen't want to have any, ever. I can handle a three year long-distance relationship, especially if there is a chance that he might want kids later. I'm afraid of staying with him for years only to find out that he will never change his mind. He had made his decision based on the fact that his occupation will keep him extremely busy. He is a wonderful man and makes me incredibly happy. I just don't know if I should wait this one out or not. Please, any advice would be great. --Amy

[Tony T]

Excellent point!!! People do often change their minds when they really fall, but it has been my experience that this happens to women more often than men...but men are not immune.