4 months after break up and still not coping

[jaiededheart]

So this may sound redundant here but I'm having a hard time coping with the breakup. We've been broken up for 4 months now. Went out for 5 and we had so many hard times in between he is younger than me by 4 years and I don't know if that had anything to do with it. He wasn't very respectful and said hurtful things and would yell at me and yet I still miss him. He wanted go get back together and I said no a month after the break up and he sent me flowers last month for my birthday and we texted for a bit but he was kind of cold. I still don't know why he sent me the flowers. I know found out he has a girlfriend - I feel like it was so quick and I feel like he never loved me. He said he did but how can someone do things like this if they love you. And if he is the one who messed up why did he not fight harder to get me back and why in the world did he send me flowers?

The reason we broke up is because he told me this will be the last time I disappoint him because I changed my schedule at work.

He said it with such disgust I told him I couldnt justify what he says anymore. He apologized for it eventually but it was too late..too many hurtful words overtime.

Im heart broken and sad because I don't trust people too easily and I trusted him and I think I loved him even though I didnt say it.

Now he is with another girl and looks so happy.

I changed him for the better and now another girl benefits? LIfe is unfair..

I am very sad and can't really function normally..I just feel so sad.

After he sent me the flowers - i asked him to go to my bday party 2 weeks after and he brushed it off. And he called my office to "catch up" and "hope i was doing well"

Now i see its because he has a new gf now..I feel like he wanted to hurt me by sending me the flowers and messing with my head..and now he has a girlfriend..i feel bitter and angry and sad..and I don't know how or why I'm like this..

[davesterr]

I changed him for the better and now another girl benefits? LIfe is unfair.

 

Unfortunately this is the way it is.

And i know exactly how you feel. Exactly.

All i can say is: Try to better yourself instead of smeone else.

Atleast this way you will benefit from it.

 

The reason why you feel like this is because your trust got hurt.

The relationship didn't go as you wanted it.

And your feelings towards him changed and made him look different.

Add all of that together and you got a mixture of sadness and anger and a bitter outlook towards people in general.

Just focus on yourself and make your life as good as possible.

That's the only thing you can do.

These feelings won't go away on their own.

[jaiededheart]

Thanks Davesterr, you're right and it is just the way it is..and I know better than this but it just really hurts..I just found last night which is why its so fresh and I can't let go so easily but thank you for the words of wisdom. I just feel like I dont want to do anything right now and I dont see light at the end of the tunnel. I know it takes time but I don't even want to date anymore ...I'd rather just be single and not deal with heartache ever again. Clearly you can see I don't believe in the statement "better to have loved and lost then never to have loved at all" I never understood it..I know we have to learn but learn what ..how mean and cruel people can be and that no matter what you do ..things will not work out.."murphys law?" I am not basing my outlook on just one experience but this one really tops the cake..it is a slap in the face and karma may actually be dead. I'm usually a very strong optimistic and positive person..but right now..i hate the world and everything it stands for..I know its pretty harsh but I feel so angry right now