You will hear back from the dumper someday

[stillafool]

I think the chances are always pretty good that you will hear back from the dumper (male or female) again at some point in life. Most of the time it isn't about getting back together but to just bury the hatchet. What you do (ignore/talk/meet up) is up to you but I think the chances are pretty good you will hear back from them. What are all your experiences on this? I will share mine....I have buried the hatchet and are now on talking terms with my 3 previous ex's (was dumper for 2 of them and dumpee for 1).......So the verdict is still out on my most recent dumper ex.

 

Even if you begged and pleaded to get your ex back I think you will still hear from them once the dust has settled. I am even talking about going a bit crazy after the breakup......Your ex's understand why you harassed them, they know you did it because you were hurt. I think the only time you may not hear from an ex is if there was abuse going on.

 

You are probably right but who wants to hear from them after they dumped you. Who cares?

[stunned8165]

You will hear from them. I heard from mine. Check it out. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t309568/

[Wesker]

Yeah. I would love to bury a hatchet alright. Right in HER heart as she did to me and the kids. But Karma has a nasty bite...

 

 

Ha!! You and me both. My ultimate vindication scenario is her now future hubby idiot get caught cheating on her, or treat her like total crap. She then crawls back to me, begging for forgiveness, and saying the biggest mistake she ever made was to leave me. I then smile back and say, "boom, outta here". Bitch. You left. You lied. You quit after over 7 years with me. You can go straight to hell. Then she spends the rest of her pathetic life living in remorse, and regret.

 

Will that actually ever happen? Prolly not. I'm not going to center my life around that scenario to come around.

[ZimboGon]

So... you guys think there is hope for me? I was really good to my ex. I was sweet, romantic, and i was just always there for her. I took her out, we had fun and everything. The only problem is her friends didn't really like me. When i went to college and we saw each other less, this guy became a part of her circle of friends and she saw him almost everyday. Even though i sat down and talked to the guy, he still went for it and she ended up leaving me for him. She and this guy have no similarities though, i really don't see it lasting long. I feel like she got caught up in the chase of something new.

 

I was her first real boyfriend. I'm still heartbroken that she just discarded me for something else. She made me her fallback guy towards the end, leading us both on. I kept fighting and fighting for her, even after they kissed. One day i just couldn't do it anymore, and i broke down in front of her and we broke up. She started leading me on again, saying she didn't want to ever lose me and i walked in on them together. I blocked her on FB and have been in NC since then. They are dating now, and she has twisted the story to make herself out to be the victim.

 

I'm just hoping one day she snaps outta it :/ She's a lot younger than me, so it may be a maturity thing.

[mike588]

So... you guys think there is hope for me? I was really good to my ex. I was sweet, romantic, and i was just always there for her. I took her out, we had fun and everything. The only problem is her friends didn't really like me. When i went to college and we saw each other less, this guy became a part of her circle of friends and she saw him almost everyday. Even though i sat down and talked to the guy, he still went for it and she ended up leaving me for him. She and this guy have no similarities though, i really don't see it lasting long. I feel like she got caught up in the chase of something new.

 

I was her first real boyfriend. I'm still heartbroken that she just discarded me for something else. She made me her fallback guy towards the end, leading us both on. I kept fighting and fighting for her, even after they kissed. One day i just couldn't do it anymore, and i broke down in front of her and we broke up. She started leading me on again, saying she didn't want to ever lose me and i walked in on them together. I blocked her on FB and have been in NC since then. They are dating now, and she has twisted the story to make herself out to be the victim.

 

I'm just hoping one day she snaps outta it :/ She's a lot younger than me, so it may be a maturity thing.

 

Maybe you did to much and became a door mat and she lost her attraction to you,,, doesn't matter if her friends didn't like you,, that's her choice and if she really loved you and wanted to be with you she would ignore her friends.

 

If you REALLY want her back the best thing to do is to let her know how you feel and what you want/expect from the relationship (if you haven't already) then go STRICT NO CONTACT!!

 

You will have cleared the air on your feelings,what you want,there won't be any guessing on her part now it's UP TO HER!!

 

What ever you do DO NOT cry beg,plead,send flowers/gifts,, you will look pathetic and weak and that is NOT attractive!! It's a turn off!!

 

If you choose to let her know your feelings (One LAST TIME!!!) send an email,,don't tell her face to face,,, all your emotions will come out and you will wind up saying to much,, crying etc.

 

Make it short and to the point,,don't start blaming her,,,or telling her your so hurt,,, and acting like your life is over,,,weak!!!!!

 

Tell her you respect her decision, that you still love her,,care,want things to work between you two and that's about it.

 

She will respect you for that and it's somewhat attractive.

 

I don't know your whole story but she could be in a rebound and those usually don't last long.

 

As hard as it is,,, believe me I know,, that's all you can really do,,don't chase her or bug her,,leave her alone,, you need to disappear,, let the relationship run its course,,let her miss you and wonder about you,,if your constantly calling,texting ect how can she miss you?

 

Bugging her will only push her further away,, is that what you want??

[YouNeverKnow86]

So... you guys think there is hope for me? I was really good to my ex. I was sweet, romantic, and i was just always there for her. I took her out, we had fun and everything. The only problem is her friends didn't really like me. When i went to college and we saw each other less, this guy became a part of her circle of friends and she saw him almost everyday. Even though i sat down and talked to the guy, he still went for it and she ended up leaving me for him. She and this guy have no similarities though, i really don't see it lasting long. I feel like she got caught up in the chase of something new.

 

I was her first real boyfriend. I'm still heartbroken that she just discarded me for something else. She made me her fallback guy towards the end, leading us both on. I kept fighting and fighting for her, even after they kissed. One day i just couldn't do it anymore, and i broke down in front of her and we broke up. She started leading me on again, saying she didn't want to ever lose me and i walked in on them together. I blocked her on FB and have been in NC since then. They are dating now, and she has twisted the story to make herself out to be the victim.

 

I'm just hoping one day she snaps outta it :/ She's a lot younger than me, so it may be a maturity thing.

 

How old is she? Yeah my ex made herself out to be the victim too after awhile, it really is such BS and harsh! In what ways did she make herself out to be the victim? Did she say you were "scaring her" and "not leaving her alone?" When the truth is you just wanted answers and showed you still cared.........Classic female dumper BS

[ZimboGon]

How old is she? Yeah my ex made herself out to be the victim too after awhile, it really is such BS and harsh! In what ways did she make herself out to be the victim? Did she say you were "scaring her" and "not leaving her alone?" When the truth is you just wanted answers and showed you still cared.........Classic female dumper BS

 

Yeah, she said i was very controlling and that i yelled and harassed the guy she left me for. I really didn't, at all. I was very understanding about her having male friends (she was the one who didn't let me have any female friends) and when this guy came around, i could tell he was into her(he even told her). I told her i didn't like her talking to him, and from then she started to say i was being very controlling.

 

I never once yelled at the guy, either. I sat him down and had a heart to heart with him about how much i loved her.

[YouNeverKnow86]

Yeah, she said i was very controlling and that i yelled and harassed the guy she left me for. I really didn't, at all. I was very understanding about her having male friends (she was the one who didn't let me have any female friends) and when this guy came around, i could tell he was into her(he even told her). I told her i didn't like her talking to him, and from then she started to say i was being very controlling.

 

I never once yelled at the guy, either. I sat him down and had a heart to heart with him about how much i loved her.

 

This is the only way for them to justify the breakup with you, they have to twist things to ease their guilt. They have to make you look like the bad guy so all her friends/family agree with her breaking up with you. It is awful and is BS but the person who is "the one" would never do this to you. My ex girlfriend turned everything I did in my efforts to move on against me even though she broke up with me. They are just immature pieces of Sh!* to be honest with you.

[ZimboGon]

This is the only way for them to justify the breakup with you, they have to twist things to ease their guilt. They have to make you look like the bad guy so all her friends/family agree with her breaking up with you. It is awful and is BS but the person who is "the one" would never do this to you. My ex girlfriend turned everything I did in my efforts to move on against me even though she broke up with me. They are just immature pieces of Sh!* to be honest with you.

 

I'm sorry about that... It sucks. Its hard to believe she would ever do that. She was very immature. Its just, at one point i knew her feelings were genuine. She really did love me. I was her first serious relationship, and i think she may have gotten GIGS and jumped ship to something new when our relationship started to require a deeper level of commitment.

 

I'm just hoping, even though she is lying to everyone else she doesn't start to believe it. She really did break my heart. I know she has some growing up to do and she needs to figure out what she really wants in a relationship. I'm just hoping one day it hits her that she lost a really good guy and comes back, because i was really good to her. We had amazing chemistry and similarities.

[Sugarkane]

I can't stand it how they paint you black and lie to everyone, Just to get over you.

[YouNeverKnow86]

I can't stand it how they paint you black and lie to everyone, Just to get over you.

 

Yeah and it gets even worse. My ex made me out to be such a bad guy that she had her father text me saying "Hi **** it's ***'* dad, it is time to move on and please leave her alone." This happened after I confronted her through texts that I was pissed her and her ex re-communicated around the time we broke up. I then apologized for my actions and told her I will always care for her.....This was reciprocated by her father texting me. How pathetic is that? All she had to do is deal with the issue herself but she gets her father involved! She is 22 by the way, how pathetic!

 

The funny thing is her parents loved me so it doesn't surprise me she would try to get them turned against me. God only knows what she told them.....For all I know she could have just lied and told them I caused the breakup.

 

A week later after her father texted me, I ran into her mother at the mall. She was very nice to me and talked to me for a few minutes.......I guess they don't think anything bad of me at all and they really shouldn't. They know how well I treated their daughter.

[ZimboGon]

Yeah and it gets even worse. My ex made me out to be such a bad guy that she had her father text me saying "Hi **** it's ***'* dad, it is time to move on and please leave her alone." This happened after I confronted her through texts that I was pissed her and her ex re-communicated around the time we broke up. I then apologized for my actions and told her I will always care for her.....This was reciprocated by her father texting me. How pathetic is that? All she had to do is deal with the issue herself but she gets her father involved! She is 22 by the way, how pathetic!

 

The funny thing is her parents loved me so it doesn't surprise me she would try to get them turned against me. God only knows what she told them.....For all I know she could have just lied and told them I caused the breakup.

 

A week later after her father texted me, I ran into her mother at the mall. She was very nice to me and talked to me for a few minutes.......I guess they don't think anything bad of me at all and they really shouldn't. They know how well I treated their daughter.

 

Mmm, i am forbidden from going inside her house. Its a new rule her father just made... -_- Its a bit awkward, because i am friends with her siblings.

[Sugarkane]

More like they only contact you, after someone screws them over.

[YouNeverKnow86]

More like they only contact you, after someone screws them over.

 

Most likely

[lilyblue]

Reading everyone's posts on the board it still upsets me that I was never told ANYTHING by the dumper. Most people it seems hear from their ex here and there post break up. I don't even really know where my break up began since there wasn't one, but I definitely never heard form him again. I'm back in the mindset of "did I really mean that little to him??" Really, how can you go from dating someone to zero contact without even saying a word? What kind of person does that? And I'm sure everyone is sick of my story, but just a quick recap - friends for years, he pursued me, we started dating, everything was great, one day he didn't reply to a text from me seeing if he wanted to have dinner and, seemingly, that's how I should have known we had broken up. He never acknowledged me again - not my call, not my email to see if everything was ok and not to a text (all within that first week). I figured out he had gotten back with his ex-wife. The last thing I had heard from him was that his plane had landed (coming back from a work trip) and he was sick. Who does that to someone else?? I see lots of stories of one part of the past relationship starting NC because they keep hearing from the other one. What about when your bf goes NC on you while you think you're still in a relationship and you never hear from them again? The whole thing just sucks.

[wilsonx]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sugarkane

More like they only contact you, after someone screws them over.

 

Most likely

 

From your own words.....

 

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t310446/

 

Busted

[YouNeverKnow86]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sugarkane

More like they only contact you, after someone screws them over.

 

 

 

From your own words.....

 

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t310446/

 

Busted

 

Wilson bro get a life! My former ex and I have been in contact for the past year before I even met my most recent ex........What are you even talking about? Her and I meeting up has nothing to do with my recent breakup so I am not busted. Nice try buddy, worry about your own problems.

 

I have a suggestion for you:

 

Stop pining over your ex and being a hypocrite.......If I was pathetic like you right now I would find an old posting of yours that says "I will never contact my ex again"..........Guess what you are busted. Worry about yourself my friend

[YouNeverKnow86]

Ha ha and yes they were my own words but it was in reference to contact implying there hasn't been any contact since the breakup. My former ex and I have been in contact before this recent ex............Nice try!

[Mcnulty]

Lilly, i feel for you, you're not alone.

 

My ex just stopped texting me, then 2 weeks late, bam...she announces on FB that she's in a relationship with my mate!!! Didn't hear a thing from her, found out from my mum godamnit.

 

I didn't text or make any contact with her, the betrayal, disbelief and hurt put paid to that.

 

What can we do?....move on from these cowardly people. They obvioulsy lost feelings and had no respect for us...hold your head high and know you're not alone in how you are feeling...hopefully one day they will get what they deserve for their cowardly inaction.

[YouNeverKnow86]

Mcnulty & lily,

 

It does suck and it just shows both your ex's really are cut and run cowards. If they really were the "one" they would never hurt you let alone end things the way they both have. There will be someone out there for you with the same exact values/beliefs you have. I am with you and I know how you feel, I could never hurt someone like my ex has hurt me.

[lana_sa]

well my ex broke up with me and he said some terrible things,so NC was started directly but he did wish me a happy birthday and contacted my sister few times(they were not close at all).So what did that mean?? does it count as count as real contact?

[lilyblue]

Lilly, i feel for you, you're not alone.

 

My ex just stopped texting me, then 2 weeks late, bam...she announces on FB that she's in a relationship with my mate!!! Didn't hear a thing from her, found out from my mum godamnit.

 

I didn't text or make any contact with her, the betrayal, disbelief and hurt put paid to that.

 

What can we do?....move on from these cowardly people. They obvioulsy lost feelings and had no respect for us...hold your head high and know you're not alone in how you are feeling...hopefully one day they will get what they deserve for their cowardly inaction.

 

What cowards! Sorry you had to go through that too.

 

The very last time we went out he was telling me how much he respected me, could never do anything to hurt me, how much he liked me, and on and on.

 

Who does this kind of thing to other people? Is the biggest trait really just cowardice?

[lilyblue]

well my ex broke up with me and he said some terrible things,so NC was started directly but he did wish me a happy birthday and contacted my sister few times(they were not close at all).So what did that mean?? does it count as count as real contact?

 

Sounds like contact.

[YouNeverKnow86]

What cowards! Sorry you had to go through that too.

 

The very last time we went out he was telling me how much he respected me, could never do anything to hurt me, how much he liked me, and on and on.

 

Who does this kind of thing to other people? Is the biggest trait really just cowardice?

 

I heard the same thing from my ex 5 days before breaking up with me and some was even stated the same day she broke up with me. I think they mean it but say all the mean hurtful things post breakup to "justify" their reasons for breaking up with you.

[lilyblue]

I heard the same thing from my ex 5 days before breaking up with me and some was even stated the same day she broke up with me. I think they mean it but say all the mean hurtful things post breakup to "justify" their reasons for breaking up with you.

 

I didn't get anything mean from him... or anything at all, or any breakup. He just disappeared.