OMG! I cant believe it....

[smokey bear]

OMG!!!!

 

 

I Cant believe it,

 

 

I had a drink 2 nights ago, ive been waiting for the dreaded hangover, missing him day, feeling low, regretting the drink and it never came.

 

I have specifically avoided alcohol for so long.

 

I think im nearly healed.

 

Guess what, im also happy, happy alone, sure i have my moments where he crosses my mind or i feel a little low but its just so easy now.

 

I was reading a post a minute ago and i had a little thought pop in my head.

 

If he came back, are you ready, i replied to that post a while back and said no, well i think i nearly am.

 

I started my last 30 days of nc and im at day 12 or something, i honestly dont think ill need the 30days, im ready to intergrade back with our mutal friends etc.

 

Feel like im jinxing myself though, writing this post, feeling very good, very healed etc and have for a week or so, put off writing this incase it was just a phase. I honestly hope this is it because its good.

 

Welcome back smokey bear, its good to see you smile xxxxx

[Philosoraptor]

In my opinion if you find yourself this excited over something like this, you aren't over them and surely aren't ready to have any sort of contact with your ex.

[davesterr]

Everytime i thought i was doing better and would glimps at my ex's fb because it would ''no longer hurt me'' it always hurt me.

If you feel ready to do the whole mutual friends thing etc then go for it.

But like raptor said , don't be suprised when you end up hurt again.

I think you're mind is tricking yourself.

Unless you are truely honest and look deep down inside and find the truth ,

it will be easy for your ego and hope of self healing to make u think ur ok.

But i think most of us on here , we really dying to get back with out ex.

No matter how much healing we do.

And if that is the true hidden feeling you have to , you will be regretting your actions.

[Philosoraptor]

Your goal should be the feeling of indifference. Not excited one way or another about them, they just shouldn't matter enough to occupy your time for any extended period of time.

 

When I was skydiving over the weekend, afterwards I had a thought like "She didn't even cross my mind". It was a dream of ours, but was a dream of mine. The thought wasn't "I'm so happy that she didn't", it was "I had a great time and I don't need her to make my own dreams come true." More of an acknowledged step away than an exciting thought. I was proud to have accomplished something that I had wanted to do for a long time. She still crosses my mind from time to time but only due to familiarity, no real emotions attached to it.

[smokey bear]

Well this is what i worried about, hence why i held off posting, I saw him yesterday, i was fine and heard news about him, again i was fine.

 

Im not saying im 100% healed guys, i specified that in my thread but im at the stage where i dont feel bad anymore.

 

There are so many Debbie Downers on this forum.

 

Look at your posts, someone comes on all positive and you's are all negative, guess what.... You aint getting me down... Guess what, that also shows me im doing good cause you's arent affecting me.

 

Ive always kept my mutal friends, only distanced the last few weeks to give me a good boost to the end of healing.

 

I want my ex back, doesnt mean im not healing.

 

See at the end of the day, im happy and have been for almost 2 weeks now, and i know deep down this isnt a stage. Its gone. Im getting there and im going to be ok. WOO HOO!!!!

 

He could turn round tomorrow and tell me he hates my guts, yes it will hurt me but not for long, ill brush it off and be happy again.

[smokey bear]

oh for gods sake, It was an achnowledgement that im happy again, im not excited over it but no one wants to come on and read,

 

"hey, getting over my ex it feels good,"

 

If you want people to read your posts, the title has to be catchy, your information has to be interesting.

 

 

Oh and my goal is not indifference. I have an ex from 9 years ago that i still have a connection with.

 

My goal, Yes..... What i want, thats right, not you..... is to be happy alone.

 

My goal, that i stated from my first day posting is to be happy alone.

 

Im glad to hold my hands up and say "I AM NOT A NEGATIVE PERSON" and im glad to be possitive again and i pity the people who spend their life negative by nature.

[Philosoraptor]

If you really feel that this is not just a blip then I am very happy for you. I wish everyone here nothing but the best. I am anything but a downer, I am an optimistic person who sees the good in everything and everyone unless I am smacked in the face with something. I'd just hate to see you get hurt more from the down that comes off of many of these "ups" and just wanted to provide the knowledge that I have gained from my own history and some of the common things I have read here or heard elsewhere in the world. The heart is a very fragile thing and I'd hate to see anyone get hurt anymore than they are already.

 

I certainly hope you go nowhere but up from here and wish you the best.

[davesterr]

Rofl this just once again proves that giving help to people is like adding water to the ocean.

 

You think we want to make you feel miserable?

You think we got nothing better to do than to spend our time trying to give you our advice which you don't even pay us for?

No , we make time for you because we care.

We are all in the same boat on this forum and we try to help eachother.

 

You want to hear happy things , people telling you fairy tales?

So you can get crushed and get mad why people didn't tell you the truth sooner?

Oh wait , we are telling you the truth and you are getting pissed off.

Unthankful and ungrateful , nice job.

 

Anyways since you don't like our genuine help.

Let me rephrase my post.

 

OMGGGGG girl you are doing amazing.

You don't need nc at all.

You can talk to your ex and be bffs and hang out and it wont bother you.

You are doing so good , and so what if he hurts you again.

You will just brush it off like its nothing cuz you are so doing so good.

It's not like you were crying your eyes out 2 weeks ago so things must've miraculously changed by now right?

Go add mutual friends , have a blast and throw the biggest party with your ex and ignore everyone on here that tries to help you out.

 

Seriously im sick of stupid people who are unthankful , take sh*t personal in the wrong way , and then complain about people who actually try to help them.

Go do what you want on your own.

I genuinely dont give a crap.

 

You hate how people are depressed?

Then get the hell off this forum and go join a different one with unicorns and rainbows.

What are you thinking?

Edited December 8, 2011 by davesterr

[Popehappycat]

^ LOL, best reply EVAR

[stunned8165]

oh for gods sake, It was an achnowledgement that im happy again, im not excited over it but no one wants to come on and read,

 

"hey, getting over my ex it feels good,"

 

If you want people to read your posts, the title has to be catchy, your information has to be interesting.

 

 

Oh and my goal is not indifference. I have an ex from 9 years ago that i still have a connection with.

 

My goal, Yes..... What i want, thats right, not you..... is to be happy alone.

 

My goal, that i stated from my first day posting is to be happy alone.

 

Im glad to hold my hands up and say "I AM NOT A NEGATIVE PERSON" and im glad to be possitive again and i pity the people who spend their life negative by nature.

 

 

Smokey, even though there is a chance of a set back, don't listen to the negative bozo's. Enjoy that moment of happiness. Even if you have a set back, look back at the moment of happiness and realize, "hey, there IS still happiness in me"... Enjoy the moment that you feel good. And soon enough, you will be feeling back to yourself eventually. This crap hurts, bad, but it doesn't last for ever.

[smokey bear]

Smokey, even though there is a chance of a set back, don't listen to the negative bozo's. Enjoy that moment of happiness. Even if you have a set back, look back at the moment of happiness and realize, "hey, there IS still happiness in me"... Enjoy the moment that you feel good. And soon enough, you will be feeling back to yourself eventually. This crap hurts, bad, but it doesn't last for ever.

 

 

hey, its a common thing on here, people dont read your back story or get to know you or what went on before they offer out their advice.

 

For example the post above about hanging out with my ex etc and all the breaking nc crap.

 

I dont hang out with my ex, we pass each other sometimes and breaking the nc is only to say hi and be civil, but everyone assumes.

 

I saw him again tonight and im absolutely fine, I even have a suspect thought that he is banging his Gigs girl. Doesnt hurt, thank god this time has finally came, also im stating to feel like i wouldnt take him back, never thought id see that day either but.......

 

I know ill get my down days but before i used to say, oh this hurts so much and i miss him and its so hard etc where as now if i feel it or want a little cry i say that its just my body's way of letting go of those last little bits. I see it in a whole new perspective.

 

Yeah 2 weeks ago i was still crying about it but is that not what they all say, that one day you just wake up and don't care anymore.

 

I waited over a week to post this post just to make sure it wasnt a phase.

 

Oh and for anyone's information, i dont come on here for advice, if i do i specifically state in my thread im looking for advice.

 

From day one in my first thread, i posted that im hear to share my story for others to take what they want from it. I also never mentioned anything about people being depresses i said people and their negativity.