i dont want them speakin to each other please help

[confusedgirl]

this subject is driving me mad and i need someones advice before i say or do something ridiculous.I have a step sister and shes a year younger than me,weve always been close but had our downs more than ups,shes always been a patronising twofaced cow and when it came to lads she out did me everytime,even when i had a boyfriend would she try to cutesy talk with them n make her seem better than me,and when it was over between me whoever it was they would start confessin they like her and it riles me to hell ...but anyway to date i hardly see her anymor,she lives with her boyfriend and goes to the same college as him but goes to same one as my current boyfriend.now me and my boyfriend are madly in love but i feel so insecure about him meetin my step sister that i never bothered n avoided them ever seein eye to eye,it was great,she ddint have a clue what he looked like,he didnt come from round anywer she knew,he doesnt know anyone she does,unlike all my ex boyfriends and i was in heaven i felt like i could b at peace at last.now my step sister is for life as our parents are now married so she is an important person not just a friend or anything,but a relative.one day i was out with my boyfriend suddenly i heard my name shouted and i thought 'oh dear' it was her she was running up to say hello,i felt scared,wierd i know but i felt insecure n scared.she put on the little charm of hers tryin to be funny and manipulative as usual and i was thinkin 'yeh yeh just p**s off please! she had a good glance at my boyfriend as she sed goodbye so now she has an idea what he looks like n she saw photos of him whe she came round later that week.suddenly one day my boyfriend comes round and goes 'oh i saw your sister today,she was just talking to me' i was fuming,i hadnt even introduced them both!!! i let it drop though,i thought i'd let it pass as a rare event.But now i'm finding out they speak whenevr they see each other,i hear only from my step sister,'oh i saw your (name) today,hes at work now though' im like how the hell do u know that? thats personal information wouldnt any of u agree? thats stuff i would know,hed tell me how much hes dredin work,it made me feel so bitter inside,then she was sayin she saw him an they had a chat about 'stuff' i was like what was u sayin? she goes 'oh jus askin about u and talkin about college' i got so angry and upset with it i finsihed the conversation as quickly as anything and slammed the phone down.I tried tellin my boyfriend how shes been nasty n patronising in the past but i feel like im bein the *****y one,i really dont like the fact they have a little chat whenever eyes meet,i know i shouldnt even be bothered but im scared she is doin this to annoy me,she knows she hardly knows the guy but she says she oblivious as to why she does speak to him she just does as she says.i burst into tears about it when it springs to mind,it just hurts me and i dont know why,it hurts even more to the fact that he didnt even tell me that they spoke that day.i dont want them talking,is ther anyway i can put him off it? i know i cant control him and say what goes but this is emotionally depressing me.how do i deal with this? do i confront it and if yes how? i dont think i can put up with it seein as they met each other properly without my help,he speaks to her about things he normally tells me after his hard day and it makes it seem meaningless like im just a mate.like hes speakin to her the way he speaks to me.please someone tell me what to do

[bluechocolate]

You cannot spend the rest of your life afraid that your step-sister is going to steal your boyfriends.

 

If your relationship is strong enough he won't fall for her. If he does then he wasn't worth it in the first place, was he?

 

,hes at work now though' im like how the hell do u know that? thats personal information wouldnt any of u agree?

 

No, I wouldn't agree. What is so personal about that kind of information? Just a guess, but it could have gone something like this: Q. "What are you up to today?" A. "I've gotta be at work at 4".

 

he speaks to her about things he normally tells me after his hard day and it makes it seem meaningless like im just a mate

 

I don't quite understand your reasoning here. What does he speak to her about that is so special that it should only be shared with you? Are you positive that these things he's talking about he wouldn't be talking about to anyone who asked him how his day was? And you know something? You should be his mate.

 

Clearly you have issues around your step-sister which you have never fully dealt with. I'm not defending her, but you are letting her control your life. Despite the fact that you no longer live together & she is living with her boyfriend you are still so caught up with your past that you are getting depressed & bursting into tears.

 

Slamming the phone down on her, asking her why she is speaking to him - you are also letting her know that she can still get to you.

 

I'm not sure that telling your boyfriend that you don't want him talking to her is going to help. If she is indeed so charming & manipulative he probably won't know what you're on about. He'll be thinkng she's nice & friendly & then the next thing you know he could be talking to her about you - then she'll know she's really got you!

 

You've told him how nasty & patronising she has been in the past. I'm sure he knows how you feel about her. If you're confident in your relationship then you should brush her off. Forget about it. Let him speak to her at college, what's he supposed to do? Be rude to her?

 

If it is really this bad for you the easiest thing to do would be to move away & never speak to her or see her again. But that isn't realistic.

 

I can't tell you how to overcome your insecurity & jealousy with this girl, perhaps you should seek some counselling to help you move beyond this.