2sunny Posted March 23, 2012 Share Posted March 23, 2012 you are `sure` she`s cheating?? Do you know? Or just what everyone else on this forum has told you??? Sheez coop - when someone is interested in another person- there is definitely a pattern... A very predictable pattern that usually smells bad. Finding the source of that stench is enlightening - but some CHOOSE not to follow the evidence of the smell - that is called denial. Link to post Share on other sites
marqueemoon4 Posted March 23, 2012 Share Posted March 23, 2012 Sheez coop - when someone is interested in another person- there is definitely a pattern... A very predictable pattern that usually smells bad. Finding the source of that stench is enlightening - but some CHOOSE not to follow the evidence of the smell - that is called denial. not to mention how many husbands have come on here so sure their wives weren't cheating, and later it came out they were? 95% maybe? i agree, coops posts scream of denial. Link to post Share on other sites
Author macmillerpwnz Posted March 23, 2012 Author Share Posted March 23, 2012 I thought I told u guys this already? No? woops.. yeah I found that out long ago.. like only a month after separation.. she always denies it and says they are just friends.. but nobody talks that much as friends. Link to post Share on other sites
2sunny Posted March 24, 2012 Share Posted March 24, 2012 Go read the thread by jstub. It may enlighten you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author macmillerpwnz Posted March 25, 2012 Author Share Posted March 25, 2012 ok will do 2 sunny!. Also thought I would let everyone know so far so strong. Since telling my stbx that we will only be communicating through text about our daughter and that is it. No more of her sending pics to me etc... It has been a full day and so far I am strong and have not given in nor do I plan on doing so.. I thought it was funny though how today she decided to send my dad's wife a pic of her to her cell phone? Maybe bcuz she knows sending it to them it will get to me? I am not sure.. but we decided to ignore it and move on.. Link to post Share on other sites
Author macmillerpwnz Posted March 26, 2012 Author Share Posted March 26, 2012 Today will mark day 3 of not reaching out to her and sticking to my NC plan. yay 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Owl Posted March 26, 2012 Share Posted March 26, 2012 That's the ticket! Stick to what you know is your best plan. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Jstub Posted March 26, 2012 Share Posted March 26, 2012 Go read the thread by jstub. It may enlighten you. How so? Link to post Share on other sites
2sunny Posted March 26, 2012 Share Posted March 26, 2012 How so? By showing him what it looks like when someone is DOING something about their situation. Taking action if they don't like what the situation is. Link to post Share on other sites
Author macmillerpwnz Posted March 26, 2012 Author Share Posted March 26, 2012 yeh Jstud did handle it pretty well Link to post Share on other sites
Jstub Posted March 26, 2012 Share Posted March 26, 2012 yeh Jstud did handle it pretty well I am still at it macmillerpwnz - I am trying not to break.. it is very very hard specially if you have to look at her beautiful face everyday.......... must see through it though, it's just external beauty.. the inside, not so much. A real struggle.... Link to post Share on other sites
jaymz Posted March 26, 2012 Share Posted March 26, 2012 I am still at it macmillerpwnz - I am trying not to break.. it is very very hard specially if you have to look at her beautiful face everyday.......... must see through it though, it's just external beauty.. the inside, not so much. A real struggle.... This is the hardest part when you are still living together. Myself and others have gone through it and out the otherside, in the end its worth it. But by God it was the hardest thing in the world to do! Link to post Share on other sites
Author macmillerpwnz Posted March 26, 2012 Author Share Posted March 26, 2012 jstub, yeh my wife is really pretty too..but like you said her inside is manipulative, cold, and selfish. I am afraid I will not find a woman as pretty as her.. Link to post Share on other sites
Jstub Posted March 26, 2012 Share Posted March 26, 2012 jstub, yeh my wife is really pretty too..but like you said her inside is manipulative, cold, and selfish. I am afraid I will not find a woman as pretty as her.. I feel the same exact way. Sometimes when I am walking around I look at women and compare them to my wife's beauty and I have a hard time saying oh she is as pretty, however, we tend to put our exes on a pedestal, like they are the prettiest, smartest, nicest (on and on), but once we are past that stage, that will change. I believe that (I think I am right). Link to post Share on other sites
Author macmillerpwnz Posted March 26, 2012 Author Share Posted March 26, 2012 I feel the same exact way. Sometimes when I am walking around I look at women and compare them to my wife's beauty and I have a hard time saying oh she is as pretty, however, we tend to put our exes on a pedestal, like they are the prettiest, smartest, nicest (on and on), but once we are past that stage, that will change. I believe that (I think I am right). Yeah because it is hard for me to see a girl as pretty as my stbx for sure.. quick question, my stbx always seemed like she wanted to be friends and maybe even eventually spend time with her and our daughter like the zoo etc together.. she once said if she met someone new then that new person would have to realize I would still be in their life?? However, I blew my chances by doing this because I can't seem to be able to be friends with her and still move on at same time.. so something always goes wrong.. at this point if we were to be friends it wouldn't be like those things like zoo or what not anymore because it just didn't work out so many times we tried being friends that whenever we say we will be friends it ends up feeling more like we are just being nice to be nice and that is it.. Do you think I made a mistake by not trying to be her friend? I always contemplate back and forth.. btw.. still haven't reached out to her so don't worry. Link to post Share on other sites
Author macmillerpwnz Posted March 27, 2012 Author Share Posted March 27, 2012 to add to what I said yesterday, I am jw cuz in the future if I still have feelings for her which I am not sure if I will or not.. but just incase I do and she wants to get back together, I wanna make sure I leave the correct imprint before initiating NC. So do you think initiating NC instead of being her friend was the best thing to do? I don't want to throw any chance of getting back together but I also need to move on and get over her.. that is why before I initiated NC I told her I have to do this to get over her and that we should only talk about our daughter.. Link to post Share on other sites
Author macmillerpwnz Posted March 28, 2012 Author Share Posted March 28, 2012 coopster, I think you are right it is what helps me move on the easiest. Btw, she texted me today to tell me that she is sorry for everything and then asks me how I feel.. I didn't respond.. this is unlike her.. funny how she is doing this once the decree is getting closer. I don't trust her.. =0 Link to post Share on other sites
Author macmillerpwnz Posted March 29, 2012 Author Share Posted March 29, 2012 so for some reason I had the urge to tell her that she is wrong for cheating and she should have told me earlier so we can work on it and how much I hate her for making me feel this way. She doesn't care about me, what she is doing, or how it is effecting the family and it hurts badly. She told me she doesn't want to be with me and never will. I feel really hurt and I basically told her the same thing back. I don't know why I keep doing this to myself and sinking back into talking to her.. why can't I just leave her alone?!?! I am so stressed out.. how the hell can I LEAVE HER ALONE?!?! Link to post Share on other sites
Author macmillerpwnz Posted March 30, 2012 Author Share Posted March 30, 2012 (edited) Soo I got tired of my stbx talkin smack about me and thinking I am a joke to her. All I ever did was try and get her back and she made fun of my actions in doing so. Such as the day I cried on her floor begging her back.. to this day she laughs at me for that and makes a joke about it. I don't think it is very funny =/. She always seems to find ways to control me and manipulate me, she will do anything to get her way. Well she said something that pissed me off and I got sick of it so I told her off. I told her I am sick of her manipulating me and lieing to get her way. I am sick of her blaming me for everything and I straight up called her a slut for opening her legs to other guys and some other mean names. I told her I have done nothing but try and get her back and kiss her ass and put her on a pedestal and it is not happening anymore! I told her until she can respect me she is not getting any respect from me what so ever.. and I treated her like she would treat me in the past and told her to deal with it and this is how it is going to be until she respects me because I am done being treated unfairly. I also blocked her from my phone texting and calling and told her she could e-mail me for contact purposes regarding our daughter. I feel like I am in a little bit more control but considering she has been in control for so long I feel so dumb for letting me feel like this. Honestly giving her no respect makes me feel better.. when you are given no respect and treated like crap it starts to wear on you.. but I took as much as possible cuz I wanted her back! I have to stop talking to her and trying to get her back because I don't think she is coming back.. If I kiss her ass enough and be nice to her she will be nice to me and act like she cares and give me false hints of us getting together again.. I know she is being fake.. but I eat it up.. I am so sad.. Hopefully I can stop talking to her.. I have been through a week or two moments where I am over her and it feels great.. but then it will hit me again.. Do I just need to stop trying to figure out what she is thinking or doing and jsut move on with my life and don't even talk to her? Let the past be the past? I am letting her control me even when she isn't with me.. Should I feel bad for being mean to her? I kinda felt like she deserves it.. I am so sad that I even count how many days passes without me talking to her and the longest was 2 weeks. Considering I talked to her last night it won't even be a day until tonight. Edited March 30, 2012 by macmillerpwnz Link to post Share on other sites
worldgonewrong Posted March 30, 2012 Share Posted March 30, 2012 Do I just need to stop trying to figure out what she is thinking or doing and just move on with my life and don't even talk to her? Yes. This. Link to post Share on other sites
Author macmillerpwnz Posted March 30, 2012 Author Share Posted March 30, 2012 Ok, I will let yall know what happens next after NC takes place for real this time !!!!! UGH!! Any suggestions on what to do that worked for you to resist the urge? Link to post Share on other sites
2sunny Posted March 30, 2012 Share Posted March 30, 2012 The fact that I ALLOWED it - and by ALLOWING it made me feel worse. When I stopped ALLOWING it - I felt as if I took some of my power back... Better balance! Instead of handing all MY power to someone that used it against ME to benefit THEM! IF you don't want her making YOU feel bad - STOP ALLOWING HER THAT MUCH POWER OVER YOU! Link to post Share on other sites
Author macmillerpwnz Posted April 1, 2012 Author Share Posted April 1, 2012 So I send a long e-mail to my wife about how I truly feel, and how it is not either of our faults the marriage failed and some other logic that I explained.. Well.. she came back.. we are on the same page about what we want in life and how we are going to go from here and raise our family together. We talked about helping out around the house and providing her with more attention.. and she admitted to me what she has been doing this whole time, she also admitted to me her faults and how she understands her issues.. I did the same... She wants me to move in with her again and put our money back together and everything.. she is even going to wear her ring again to work and she told me she will tell me how that goes.. lol.. since she hasn't been wearing it for soo long.. I am really happy and I appreciate her more than I ever have.. she sees that I no longer care about other women like I used to and that I only care about her.. and I hope we are together for the rest of our lives.. I can really tell it is real when we are with each other.. I have been with her all weekend and everything has been really great.. I helped clean.. and cook etc.. we are really happy right now.. we are going to go to counseling to make sure it works this time.. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
marqueemoon4 Posted April 1, 2012 Share Posted April 1, 2012 Wow. Didn't see that coming. Best of luck to you and your family! Link to post Share on other sites
jaymz Posted April 1, 2012 Share Posted April 1, 2012 Good luck buddy, hope it all works out. Link to post Share on other sites
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