Beyond devastated

[phone66]

Well sent her a text today said Merry Christmas. She didn't respond, I don't understand how she can be so cold hearted, it's so out of character all of this is from the person I thought I knew.

[HLP234]

Just as I thought would happen, she would not say anything. That is because she is getting over you. She is instilling the NC phase so that its easier to deal with. You should just ignore it from now on. Its tough, took me over 6 months to get over my ex. Everytime you say something and they don't say anything back all it does is hurt you more.

[wilsonx]

Well sent her a text today said Merry Christmas. She didn't respond, I don't understand how she can be so cold hearted, it's so out of character all of this is from the person I thought I knew.

 

How is she cold hearted. One thing you have to understand is that the relationship is over. The more you try to contact her, the more space she is going to put in between you two. If you want to shorten that space between you, you have to distance yourself from her emotionally

 

NO CONTACT, if you have a text to send her, write it down on a sheet of paper and put it in a folder. Everytime you have something you want to tell her, write down in your own handwriting and put it in that folder. Keep doing this for every single thought/feeling that you have. Continue this, soon enough, you will see that NC gets easier and easier.

 

Now I am going to caution you, shes going to do something at around the 3 -4 month mark, shes going to get mad about something stupid. Do not break NC when she does this, just let it go and keep chugging along in your road to healing.

[TheDovic]

Aww dude I'm so sorry to hear about this!

 

If it's any comfort at all I'll tell you my story because like you I was at rock bottom!

 

I was with my ex for four years, were engaged, had a house together etc... I'm 28, she's 23! When she dumped me in July I fell apart (don't believe me, read my old posts lol). Like you I lost a tonne of weight (weighed less than 10 stone and am 5'11), was on anti-depressants, sleeping tablets, diazepam and was seeing a therapist. I was even on suicide watch. I couldn't go to work for months and spent my days on the sofa crying.

 

Now almost 6 months later I still feel sad, but I'm back at work, have started to gain weight again, have hope for the future and have even met someone I like. Now I haven't started anything with this new girl yet, but my point is this -> I didn't think I could EVER be happy again... I mean I was OBSESSED with my ex. And although I'm still in love with her and think about her all the time, I can picture a happy life without her. It's important to note that if anyone had have told me this when I was at your stage I'd have never believed them.

 

To summarise, you're in for a really tough time and you know this. Just realise this is completely normal, so don't be expecting too much from yourself right now. But keep seeking advice and guidance on here because it is an amazing site with amazing people who will help you.

 

Dovic

[phone66]

Thank you both very much. I havent tried to contacta her since xmas. I know i had some family send xmas packages to the house she is at and have not heard from her. Honestly a big part of me just doesnt want to communicate with her in any way in re: to my xmas boxes from my family, I really want my xmas boxes from my family they are 3k miles away and I didn't have much of an xmas. I guess I will let it be and see if she reaches out about the boxes.

 

new yrs eve is coming and I still don't have any plans, I need some plans and I need to them to be good, in my head for some reason i need to feel that whatever I am doing is better and more fun than what she is doing , whatever that is.