i've lost the plot

[shook187]

sadly the new i-phone keeps stats, i have left my ex girlfriend 86 missed calls today, she did return one call just before, and event hen i didn't know what to say, i just cried. i'm fretting, i left her about 4 messages also, nothing rude just that i need to hear her voice, my story is that we've been together 6 years and this is our 3rd breakup, and it feels horrible. she keeps telling me she loves me etc, but truth is i know its over. what am i trying to achieve by calling her? i think it's that i don't want her to forget about me, but this is what i went through on our first breakup, i just kept pushing her further away. i just need some advice on how to stop this nonsense, it's embaressing and demorolising considering she doesn't care.

[Million.to.1]

86? Geez.

 

You should delete her number. This behavior will achieve nothing.

I know you are in alot of pain, but this isn't healthy. You need to put in some measures to stop this. Unfriend her on Facbook, get rid of her from accessible communication for your own sake. You will not win her back by being desperate and begging. Take space for yourself. Breaking up is awful and hurts like hell, and time away from her is the only thing that will make it easier. Start that time now.

No contact.

 

hugs.

[davesterr]

damn dude.

no offense but what would u think if someone called u 86 times?

whether its someone u know or a complete stranger.

i know what i would think.

either an emergency or a frikkin psycho.

im not here to make u feel worse.

but get a grip on urself dude.

 

listen this forum is filled with tons of coping ways.

stick to nc , focus on urself , live ur life the best way u can etc.

just to put it short like that.

and its a real hard thing to do.

 

all i wanna say is: she won't forget about u.

i remember old classmates i never even talked to from years ago.

why would your ex forget about u when she has been with u for 6 years?

seriously you could dissapear on this earth right now and she will remember u.

so if that's your biggest fear then don't panick and just realise common sense.

 

but really man ,

if you feel like a panick attack again where you have to hear her voice right this instant.

and are willing enough to call her 86 times.

then just get urself together and focus all ur energy on something else.

go out the house , watch a marathon of ur favorite tv show or movies.

ANYTHING.

but whatever you do , do not freak out and call her like that.

what do you think to accomplish with this behavior?

she wants a boyfriend who's loving , caring and respects her space.

not an obsessed stalker who's at the brink of a complete meltdown.

so before you do anything in regards of contacting her.

look at urself and think how it will make her see you.

if you have any chance left at getting back together if that's what you really want.

then you're really screwing them badly by acting like this.

 

whatever feeling you got inside.

don't let it out on your ex.

punch a punching bag a million times or scream in ur house.

you can as crazy as you want untill you calm down and ur ex won't find out.

but just don't call her like that or show up on her door without asking her first man.

that's just scary.

Edited December 11, 2011 by davesterr

[RonChalant]

86 missed calls...really dude? I know it sucks but you can't do that. My ex of 7 years just kicked me to the curb for the third time also, but calling her like that isn't doing **** but giving her all the power. She's going to feel that you aren't **** without her, and women don't want a man with a low self worth. Stop calling, it won't do anything but piss her off and worse...make her talk ****t about you to her friends. Do you really want to be looked at as a giant puss? Stop calling, girls want you when you ignore them. It won't happen overnight. Honestly it'll take a MINIMUM of 3 months NC before it has any effect but it will work. Then again it may not, but 6 years is a long time and she most likely has a case of the GIGS. If you continue to pursue her though it will only get worst. My ex STILL has a msg saved that I left her 3 years ago from the first time we ever broke up of me crying my ass off. It's not a good look. Be a man, it's hard right now, but it'll be fine, you won't die, though you'll feel like you want to at times. Get a grip and ignore her. In time if it is what you both want it will work itself out. Or maybe it won't, I hated hearing that aspect of the truth to in the beginning...but focus on you man. Don't give her all the power cause if you do you have lost all hope

[davesterr]

no offense to ronchalant but i don't think things will magically work itself out if it does.

if you wanna get back together then do what you feel like you need to do and work hard.

but like everyone said: calling her 86 times and crying to her isn't gonna get her back.

[karmaqueen]

It sounds like you are totally lost. Put the phone away for a while. Or instead of calling her, play a game or call a friend or just do something!!!

I know how you feel- I've done similar myself but I've also been on the receiving end of numerous phone calls and in the end I turned off my phone.

Get through the day somehow and then start again tomorrow knowing that if she wants to talk to you, she will call back.

Try to put yourself first.

[Gdunkman]

So you say that girls don't want to be with the guys who have no self-worth, who are begging, don't have their own lifes, etc. Let's discuss it, because I thought so, but my experience recently showed me something different. As you may find out from my threads my ex dumped me for her ex, that's what he did during seven months while they were separated.

 

She cried every day and told him she loved me and wanted to be with me during the last month or two of their relations, she decided to visit me, she spent their mutual money on a plane ticket, he drove her to the airport, crying while driving.

 

She cheated on him with me, came back to their house, and anounced they are breaking up. He said it was ok that she cheated, and he still loved her. She asked why can't he just hate her know, he said he would love whatever she did. They decided to stay friends, she moved to her mother.

 

He came to her street many times, parked his cas and waited for her to take a walk with her dogs, to see her, she asked him to stop it, but he didn't listen.

 

He highjacked her fb account, so he knew I was coming in a month to stay with her, the day I was coming he was begging her to change her mind, and threatened to commit a suicide, he was messaging her all the time I was there.

 

He gave her an expensive gift on her birthday, while making very little money, he must have spent most of his money on it. I can only guess it, as we were in LDR, but they had really intense communication, I think on a daily basis, he was begging her to come back, stating I don't love her, what else could he say?

 

He told her it's ok she doesn't take her decision now, he would wait for a year or two or any time she needs, he would love her and wait for her forever. He made numerous attempts to ask her to reconcile. During the last month of our relations we were in three different countries, I talked to my ex daily, but I had no idea so did he. She told me and my friends all the time she missed me so much.

 

I don't know what he promissed her, at least spending winter on the beach under the sun. She believed him I don't love her and broke up with me to be with him, in spite of her mother's and her best friend's points of view that she was crazy doing so, and she would regret it in future. She still said he is not interesting guy to spend time with, and she gets bored with him quickly, and it might be she was making a mistake.

[davesterr]

There might be individuals who are just extremely stupid.

But let's be honest here gdunkman , everyone knows begging and coming over as a pshycho is not an attractive thing to a normal person.

I don't know why your ex left you for that guy.

Maybe the vacation , maybe something else.

Most likely it just seems that she doesn't know what she wants and isn't in for a real comitting relationship.

Either way , im sorry that she was dumb enough to leave you again.

And there will always be individual women out there that might like a stalker.

But to the healthy normal people , which i assume his ex gf is , calling her 86 times will not make him look more attractive.

[Gdunkman]

Either way , im sorry that she was dumb enough to leave you again.

And there will always be individual women out there that might like a stalker.

But to the healthy normal people , which i assume his ex gf is , calling her 86 times will not make him look more attractive.

 

Thank you, davesterr! My story is not an action guide for the dumpees. Just an illustration what a doormat the person could be.