LoveKeep27 Posted December 11, 2011 Posted December 11, 2011 I feel like so lost and confused, i feel like i've been let down, like my world as been destroyed. We're been together for 4 years, last night my boyfriend told me likes hugging, kissing and meeting girls even though he hasent done any of those things. I mean the day before, he was telling me that becuase he was my first boyfriend if i wanted to go with anyone else or get experience then he would understand that and be ok with it. I only want to be with him, i truly love him and he says he loves me, i only ever want to be with him, but for him to tell me that and then this is so confusing. He told me that if he kisses some other girls then it wouldnt be cheating cos he has told me about it. He said i dont understand, but i class it as cheating, i dont want my boyfriend kissing other girls. So i feel so let down, he says he's so inlove with me and would die for me if he ever loses me. BUt i dont understand if hes saying that he loves me then why does he want to kiss other girls I love him but i cant be with someone who wants to hug and kiss other girls, i want to be in a committed relationship, were he only has feelings for me and only me. How would you feel if you were in this situation?
Andy_K Posted December 11, 2011 Posted December 11, 2011 If I were in a relationship with a girl who wanted to hug, kiss, and meet new guys all the time, I'd split up with her. (If she only wanted to kiss girls, I'd be okay with that)
Feelsgoodman Posted December 11, 2011 Posted December 11, 2011 So i feel so let down, he says he's so inlove with me and would die for me if he ever loses me. BUt i dont understand if hes saying that he loves me then why does he want to kiss other girls Have you considered the possibility that he is, pardon my french, full of sh*t? And that he tells you he loves you even though he actually doesn't? I don't want to sound mean, but you seem a little naive. If a guy is telling you that he wants to see other girls and is encouraging you to see other guys, it is obvious that he doesn't love you. Either this is his way of breaking up with you or he wants an open relationship.
Feelin Frisky Posted December 11, 2011 Posted December 11, 2011 Sorry but you've found out the harsh reality that you're unsuited to each other. You want an exclusive monogamous relationship and he is talking about an "open" relationship where both of you go with others but consider your relationship the anchor for all of that to which to return. This is a "parting-of-the-ways" issue.
kaylan Posted December 11, 2011 Posted December 11, 2011 If I were in a relationship with a girl who wanted to hug, kiss, and meet new guys all the time, I'd split up with her. (If she only wanted to kiss girls, I'd be okay with that) I always Lol when guys say this. Being out of the relationship is being outside of the relationship, regardless of gender. Its funny how dudes change their tune once their gfs start sleeping with the other chick and it takes away from their own relationship. Or in the worst cases, leaves them to explore the female world a bit more. You get what you ask for though =P @OP Dump this guy...if he cared about you at all and saw a future with you, he would NOT be asking this of you. I know when I truly care about a girl, no other women come into my mind at all. best of luck
ScienceGal Posted December 11, 2011 Posted December 11, 2011 I can see how much you care for him because if you didn't, you wouldn't be looking for someone on here to justify his wants. 4 years is a long time, but the rest of your life is even longer. Do you really want to waste it with someone who is already saying they don't want to be faithful to you? And be prepared for "kissing" other girls to turn into sex, it is going to happen. He isn't ready to settle down.
Casablanca Posted December 12, 2011 Posted December 12, 2011 I mean the day before, he was telling me that becuase he was my first boyfriend if i wanted to go with anyone else or get experience then he would understand that and be ok with it. Sounds like he wants the relationship to end...maybe he is trying to get you to do it, I dunno, but I would leave him
BillieAnn Posted December 12, 2011 Posted December 12, 2011 If I were in your place, I would feel just like you
Disenchantedly Yours Posted December 12, 2011 Posted December 12, 2011 LoveKeep - your boyfriend is manipulative. I wouldn't be convinced that he infact hasn't done any of these things. Like meet other girls or kiss them. It also sounds like he is prepping you for when it does happen. He has rationlized in his head that since he's told you this information that it wouldn't be cheating. But that's not anything close to how you treat someone you love in a relationship. Alot of couples have different ideas on what isn't or is cheating. But it's not something that is decided on by only one member of the couple. If you feel that kissing other girls is cheating (and I know for sure I would) then it's simply cheating if he decides to go forth and act like that despite knowing how you feel about it. Quite simply, he is being manipulative and selfish. Have you asked him how he would feel if you wanted to kiss other boys? If you plan on staying with this guy, and I'm not certain you should, then I would tell him that if he wants to kiss other girls, you get to kiss other guys. And see how he reacts. I understand that you love him but sometimes we need to let go of things we love if they aren't healthy for us anymore. If I was in that situations, I would be hurt and sad and I would consider seriously breaking up with him.
RecordProducer Posted December 12, 2011 Posted December 12, 2011 Boyfriend wants to kiss other girls Tell him to start by kissing your ass!
Pizzaman81 Posted December 12, 2011 Posted December 12, 2011 I didn't read your post because I stopped after reading your subject. I'd dump his ass
colosseum Posted December 12, 2011 Posted December 12, 2011 I didn't read your post because I stopped after reading your subject. I'd dump his ass Amen. This shouldn't even be a question. 4 years sounds like it would hurt, but this is as black/white as it could get. Leave him. now.
make me believe Posted December 12, 2011 Posted December 12, 2011 My guess is that he probably has already been kissing (and maybe f*cking) other girls behind your back. But guess what, he doesn't get to TELL you what is cheating and what's not. YOU get to decide that for yourself. Kissing is obviously cheating for you (and most other people), and you should not put up with it if it's not what you want. Your boyfriend is full of sh*t when he says he "would die without you." I'm guessing you're both very young. He's trying to manipulate you into staying with him while he goes out and kisses (or has sex with) other girls. Please don't fall for it. He has no respect for you and any guy that really loves you would not tell you he's going to kiss other girls and you can't get mad.
BillieAnn Posted December 14, 2011 Posted December 14, 2011 Do not let them manipulate you! It is not correct!
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