Led_Zep1970 Posted May 29, 2004 Share Posted May 29, 2004 Alright, take notice this sucks! Welp me (male) and my best friend (female) starting feeling things for each other, and it grew into love. I betrayed one of my male friends to have a relationship with this girl. I was justly in my actions, there truly was no betrayl but it was interperted as such, so in which case it must be. Either way me and her start dating, and it seems she is very deep on the sex topic. Me still being a virgin (note: I am a Christian), I am very defensive on the topic. But it was very tempting considering the emotions I feel for her. We had a moment in the future where we had an opportunity to "do" it. We were discussing it on the phone and I told her that I'm unsure and that maybe we should take more time in our relationship. AH NOW, did I mention that me and her have only been dating for 18 days at this point? To me that seems way too soon for a sexual relationship, but either way when I told her I was unsure she said, "You don't love me as much as I love you, infact I don't think you love me at all." Didn't see that one coming :S And now were still dating, after this point I felt rushed and broke my feelings for her, still there is care but I need time to grow. But still I'm curious, what is the situation here, is it just lust she has for me, or emotions, to hit me up that soon for sex......hmmm leaves one to think if I've just been used. Advise me on this, is it possible she is corrupt? And why would she tell me I don't love her considering that I just said I think we need to wait on sex? She took that very heavily, which is....well eh? Link to post Share on other sites
bluechocolate Posted May 29, 2004 Share Posted May 29, 2004 And why would she tell me I don't love her considering that I just said I think we need to wait on sex? It was a childish thing to say. If you are not ready to have sex then don't. , to hit me up that soon for sex...... Didn't you say this girl was your best friend? So this is not just someone you starting dating 18 days ago, you've known each other for a while. Advise me on this, is it possible she is corrupt? Surely that is not for you to judge. If you even think for a moment that she is corrupt then stop going out with her. Link to post Share on other sites
dyermaker Posted May 29, 2004 Share Posted May 29, 2004 Originally posted by Led_Zep1970 Cool name. Advise me on this, is it possible she is corrupt? What the hell do you mean "corrupt"? You mean, with a sexual past? And why would she tell me I don't love her considering that I just said I think we need to wait on sex? Things rarely occur in a vacuum--it's not like this is the only thing she's working off. You both value the relationship differently, and/or you both value sex differently. Your options are to either communicate to reconcile those differences, or cut your losses after 18 days. Link to post Share on other sites
quankanne Posted May 29, 2004 Share Posted May 29, 2004 Advise me on this, is it possible she is corrupt? nope, just very inconsiderate. You need to set the record straight that while you find her attractive, now is not the time to be jumping into bed with her because you don't believe in boinking for boinking's sake. If she's any kind of lady (or friend), she'll respect your position. however, it sounds like she's counting on your previous close friendship to justify your having sex with you, and that's not a good thing, because a true friend doesn't put those kinds of pressures on you. "You don't love me as much as I love you, infact I don't think you love me at all." this is a very overt sign of manipulation, dude. you need to decide whether she's your friend, and end the romance, or your honey, and redefine the parameters of your friendship in a major way. I say "RUN!!!" Link to post Share on other sites
Author Led_Zep1970 Posted May 30, 2004 Author Share Posted May 30, 2004 The other day she called me, telling me to come out into town, I live in a rural area and getting to town is difficult. I went to extra efforts to get out and see her, she didn't talk to me much at all once we met there. Infact she went around talking to all her friends, and hugged all these guys and such. How am I supposed to take to that, well I'm not sure, but I was angry and jealous. She was hugging on them more than me, she says she loves me, and shes rarely gets out and stuff so.....for her to be happy to be out is good. But I felt so neglected, I told her this made me feel so sad and angry then she told me no worries their just friends. And that she loves me and such. It worries me to death :S Actions speak louder than words. Link to post Share on other sites
dyermaker Posted May 30, 2004 Share Posted May 30, 2004 Actions speak louder than words. No, my zeppelin brother--both actions and words are mere reflections of a connection you have. If the connection is worth keeping, the words and actions will reward you. If not, you need to reassess the relationship. You shouldn't be with someone who worries you to death--whether it's a dysfunction of you or her--it doesn't matter. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Led_Zep1970 Posted May 30, 2004 Author Share Posted May 30, 2004 Indeed I am a major fan of Zeppelin I really care about this girl, I want to stick with her, I just need time to let my emotions flourish I've jumped into way too much stuff for another mess up again. It was at one point love, but after this all rush stuff it kinda died down. Its rising again, because I got the whole jealousy thing going on again. So yea. I think I was being a prick anyway by thrashing her on her hanging out. She says she dedicated. So I guess I can just hope for the best. Link to post Share on other sites
dyermaker Posted May 30, 2004 Share Posted May 30, 2004 Originally posted by Led_Zep1970 Indeed I am a major fan of Zeppelin What did you think of the "big release" on friday? I'm pleased--any new shows are good shows--but I was holding out for a 68 show or Bath 70 Soundboard It was so hyped--I was a bit let down. In my opinion anything after '72 should *not* be hyped that much. I really care about this girl, I want to stick with her, I just need time to let my emotions flourish I've jumped into way too much stuff for another mess up again. It was at one point love, but after this all rush stuff it kinda died down. Its rising again, because I got the whole jealousy thing going on again. So yea. I think I was being a prick anyway by thrashing her on her hanging out. She says she dedicated. So I guess I can just hope for the best. I wish you luck--I think only you can truly assess whether or not it's worth investing yourself in your relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
ockey53 Posted May 30, 2004 Share Posted May 30, 2004 The rule that I understand for sex is after: 3 months or 6 dinner dates Link to post Share on other sites
dudesomewhere Posted May 30, 2004 Share Posted May 30, 2004 responses from my end could go so many ways, but I'll focus on one aspect based off this quote: "Welp me (male) and my best friend (female) starting feeling things for each other, and it grew into love." There would be nothing wrong with loving another as a friend....'nuff said. I believe I could grow to love a female and/or a male friend...as I would my sister or brother...though not as strongly of course . Keeping it short...she is an example of the female jerk. Though of course to be gender neutral and more true, she is just a jerk. Player!....female player....heheh. Link to post Share on other sites
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