ramba24 Posted December 12, 2011 Share Posted December 12, 2011 I dated my ex for the past 6.5 years. For two of those years we were living 800 miles apart due my going back to grad school and him finding a job out of state. The plan was for me to move down in the beginning of 2012. Long story short is he decided to date another women and he decided to let me know via Facebook (no, he's not 16....he's 30 almost 31). This was about two weeks ago. I have been in NC with him since then, but did email him yesterday to see if he would send me my stuff I left at his place. I offered to give him his stuff back by either sending it to him or dropping it off at his bro's so he can get it next time he comes back home. He told me just to donate his stuff to Goodwill. Why would he say that? Who doesn't want their stuff back? Is it just me or is that strange? I know that some of the items he left at my place he really likes. Link to post Share on other sites
lolita jade Posted December 12, 2011 Share Posted December 12, 2011 Because he doesn't want the memories. His stuff there would remind him of you. He doesn't want to be hurt by that. Link to post Share on other sites
radiodarcy Posted December 12, 2011 Share Posted December 12, 2011 i agree with Lolita. it sounds like he just wants to cut and run. it's an avoidance tactic. i should know. i'm pretty good at stuff like that. so far i've never been the dumper. but it certainly comes in handy as a dumpee. Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted December 12, 2011 Share Posted December 12, 2011 Me too. I know in the past when I broke up with someone I would leave everything because I didn't want the memories. One can always get more stuff. Link to post Share on other sites
maryslamb Posted December 12, 2011 Share Posted December 12, 2011 If he's refusing to get his belonggins and he was the dumper, then he has moved on. he doesn't want any other contact with you. I was/am the dumpee, and I still have a few items at an ex house, but I am to emotionally unstable to even call and ask. I feel my sanity is worth a lot more than those replaceable items.. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ramba24 Posted December 12, 2011 Author Share Posted December 12, 2011 Hmm. Never saw it that way. I don't feel that way about my stuff being at his place. I just see it has my stuff that I want back because some of it has important meaning to me. Another question is: if he is avoiding the memories of me by not wanting his stuff back, then why does he still have my friends and family on his Facebook? I mean everytime they tag me in a check-in, status update, a picture, or I write on their wall he sees it. Seems like if he wanted to cut and run, he'd get rid of them on Facebook to make a clean break. Link to post Share on other sites
lolita jade Posted December 12, 2011 Share Posted December 12, 2011 I think he doesnt want his stuff because the momories would hurt him. Also another option is for him to say that so he is acting like he doesnt want them. To make you think he has moved on. We all say things as a shock value sometimes but dont mean them. It is human nature to be curious. He can check up on you via fb. The way he has done this after 6.5 years. I think it is GIGS and he will still be fond of you. Link to post Share on other sites
radiodarcy Posted December 12, 2011 Share Posted December 12, 2011 yeah - - him keeping you on facebook is just idle curiosity. i wouldn't read too much into it. either that or he hasn't gotten around to taking them off, yet. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ramba24 Posted December 12, 2011 Author Share Posted December 12, 2011 He also still have pictures up of us on Facebook as well and recent ones from my last trip down---early fall. We have been rocky for over a month, so I think he's had time. Just seems like keeping pictures of us or wanting to see my activities on Facebook is more painful then material items. Also, he still wanted to "talk" to me while seeing her. I wasn't about to do that so I cut it off wishing him all the happiness in his new relationship. So that's why all of this doesn't make sense to me. I will respect his wishes though and donate his stuff like he wants. Link to post Share on other sites
lolita jade Posted December 12, 2011 Share Posted December 12, 2011 He is unsure of his future like my ex so keeping pictures on facebook, wanting to talk to you. All not final actions. If he cut you out completely he can't come back to you when it goes tits up. He wants to keep his options open. Funny that, so is my ex. The whole thing is an experiment at our expense. Link to post Share on other sites
ZimboGon Posted December 12, 2011 Share Posted December 12, 2011 Well, my ex and i just broke up about a month ago. She ripped my heart out. I didn't want anything from the relationship, at all. I gave her the pictures she gave me, the blanket she made me, the artwork, the stuff animals, the bracelets, everything. She wanted to give me my stuff back, but i refused. There was clothing, stuffed animals, expensive jewelry, pictures, everything. I just couldn't handle it. I loved her so much (she left me for another guy, slight case of GIGS) so i figured it was her burden to hold onto. I won't lie, apart of me hopes that she will one day stumble on to the stuff and miss me and come back, among other reasons. I hope she doesn't sell or trash the stuff :/ Link to post Share on other sites
Author ramba24 Posted December 13, 2011 Author Share Posted December 13, 2011 I have no tolerance for the whole GIGS. Maybe a few years from now and if we have grown into more mature people and resolve some issues it could work, but not now. Time to move forward. I emailed him again today because I forgot about one very important item he had. It was a gift from my dad who passed away before he could even give it to me, so it has meaning and the ex knows that. I know its packed away in storage so I didn't want him to forget about it. I emailed to remind him of sending back that item as well. He snapped at me. Seriously? Shouldn't be a big deal if he has already moved on. The email was simple too "hey I forgot about the shot glasses/beer mugs my dad bought me, so please add those to the list. Thank you." Link to post Share on other sites
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