being forced to go to therapy

[iheartsuki]

and i'm extremely angry about it. bascially, everything was fine with my boyfriend and me for awhile...he had worked on some of the things that were bothering me and things had for the most part improved greatly. then we moved.

 

he's starting work in a city that i hate, but it is near another city where i have wanted to be most of my life (and he hates and will never live in). not only do i hate this particular city we're living outside of, but i also hate suburbs and that's where we're living....city outskirts. the apartment we're in is one that he picked out and is paying for (not my style at all)....and i'm partly here w/ him b/c i'm not in the position to be in my city of choice (and let a few opportunities slip away so i could hold on to this excuse, i think) and also b/c i want to be with him.....just not HERE.

 

i told myself i was ok with moving here, but after coming back from visiting my family, who live in another state, i began to question why on earth i would go through the heartache of leaving them and putting them through the same to be in a place i hate. so then, i started getting sad...and then mean.

 

i've been lashing out at my boyfriend, acting mean, pushing him away when he tries to get close and just generally being extremely difficult even in spite of how wonderful he has been for quite some time now. now he says get therapy by the end of the week or pack my things and leave.

 

i feel even MORE angry and resentful now. resentful that i'm here in this stupid town outside of this city i hate, angry that i've been trying to get him to go w/ me for so long and NOW that the he's the one with complaints, he's ready to go, angry that he won't discuss it with me and treat me like an adult, angry about all the little things i'm worried about....like the fact that i will NEVER live in the city i want to be in b/c his job will take him even farther from it (i've basically convinced myself of this)....and then commuting to each other on weekends will be impossible (we've talked about being semi long distance once i'm able to get a job there that pays enough for me to live there), angry that he'll ALWAYS have ALL the power just like he does now b/c he'll ALWAYS make substantially more than i will, angry that he's insisting on coming w/ me b/c he's just going to complain about me to the therapist, angry that he's not being compassionate and understanding anymore, angry at his threats of kicking me out or calling his mom and telling her about my behavior, angry that he always has the power....!!!!!!!!!!!!! ANGRY.

 

i don't even know why i feel this way and i don't feel like therapy will help right now. i'm not in the right mindset for it and i know it only helps if you want help. i just want to be left alone to work this out on my own. and maybe some space from him (which is impossible to get right now).

 

i don't even really know why i'm on here....just to vent?? i'm not sure what i'm even asking for, i just feel extremely, extremely angry and like crying all the time. i absolutely do NOT want to go and i have no choice about it unless i want to be kicked out.

[carhill]

If you don't want to go to therapy, then pack your things and leave. A healthy relationship doesn't leave one feeling powerless. Your power is in your choices.

 

No human is worth sacrificing yourself for.

[creighton0123]

You need to calmly let him know that it's important that you be included in all future decisions. Remember this: if neither of you can win or compromise for the other, the logical decision is that you BOTH compromise.

 

If he is not willing to include you in decisions, then you must leave him. Just because he makes more money than you does not make him your supreme overlord. If he thinks so, then he is not worth your time.