My update after my Biggg mistake

[SkyEmtRN]

Ok so to sum up my previous story. I created a fake facebook account, sent a letter to her pretending to be someone else to give her a piece of mind. Big mistake that was but in the end she never received the letter. If its true or not it doesn't matter any more. There was no conflict that arised from that letter and I really don't think she received it.

 

So that night, we texted and she was telling me about how she is spending time with another guy. This guy buys her lunch and lets her come over his house and she already met the family. She says she made comparisons of him to me but never told me what. But as of now I'm assuming that this person is better than me only becuase he graduated from college and I'm still going through school.

 

She said she not looking to date anybody but at the same time she said she doesn't know what she wants. She said she just wants to gain friends. She told him flat out that she is not ready to date anyone.

 

Now my side. Yea I'm hurt and that night I blew up her phone with text messages that could have pushed her away. She texted back saying "as of now there is no us and to make the changes for yourself" she sounded angry but I responded with "I'm aware of that. I'm ok with the break up, I'm happy that your your meeting new people and I don't want to say anything that will pressure you or push you away"

Then she responded with "ty for saying that and I'm happy you are meeting new people to" I'm really not, I'm just focusing more on school and myself.

 

So I responded with, "I guess well see what happens from here on now. take it easy and dont forget the good us. Smile " She responded with "Ok. Sounds good. U too :)"

 

I didn't send a text message after...but...I lost a tiny control and sent her a message on Aim which she won't get until she gets home in 6 hours. The message said "I'm still leaving the door open for you but I'm not waiting, just open that's all. I'm not dating the door is always gonna be open if you ever forgive. You still have gf quality and we make a good cute couple just bad timing. hope you do/feel the same. Smile

 

Was I wrong in sending that last message?

 

I know I'm deffinately starting NC since I blocked her Aim but I don't have it in my heart to delete her facebook or phone number. She still has my pictures up on her facebook but she doesn't use facebook as often.

 

I still am hurt and on the down side but I think I regained my sense of thought compared to yesterday.

[Art_Critic]

Dude.. someone needs to take your computer away from you...

Stop contacting her.. gain some of your self respect back.

 

A person cannot miss another person if they are never given a chance too...

 

Stop contacting her..

[chados]

Ok so to sum up my previous story. I created a fake facebook account, sent a letter to her pretending to be someone else to give her a piece of mind. Big mistake that was but in the end she never received the letter. If its true or not it doesn't matter any more. There was no conflict that arised from that letter and I really don't think she received it.

 

So that night, we texted and she was telling me about how she is spending time with another guy. This guy buys her lunch and lets her come over his house and she already met the family. She says she made comparisons of him to me but never told me what. But as of now I'm assuming that this person is better than me only becuase he graduated from college and I'm still going through school.

 

She said she not looking to date anybody but at the same time she said she doesn't know what she wants. She said she just wants to gain friends. She told him flat out that she is not ready to date anyone.

 

Now my side. Yea I'm hurt and that night I blew up her phone with text messages that could have pushed her away. She texted back saying "as of now there is no us and to make the changes for yourself" she sounded angry but I responded with "I'm aware of that. I'm ok with the break up, I'm happy that your your meeting new people and I don't want to say anything that will pressure you or push you away"

Then she responded with "ty for saying that and I'm happy you are meeting new people to" I'm really not, I'm just focusing more on school and myself.

 

So I responded with, "I guess well see what happens from here on now. take it easy and dont forget the good us. Smile " She responded with "Ok. Sounds good. U too :)"

 

I didn't send a text message after...but...I lost a tiny control and sent her a message on Aim which she won't get until she gets home in 6 hours. The message said "I'm still leaving the door open for you but I'm not waiting, just open that's all. I'm not dating the door is always gonna be open if you ever forgive. You still have gf quality and we make a good cute couple just bad timing. hope you do/feel the same. Smile

 

Was I wrong in sending that last message?

 

I know I'm deffinately starting NC since I blocked her Aim but I don't have it in my heart to delete her facebook or phone number. She still has my pictures up on her facebook but she doesn't use facebook as often.

 

I still am hurt and on the down side but I think I regained my sense of thought compared to yesterday.

 

 

 

i really hate to say this. theres really no patience for some people. first you send her texts like a mad man, and then your making things better by saying im okey with the breakup. kinda mixed signals dont you think?, well thats good. but then you say "I'm happy that your your meeting new people and I don't want to say anything that will pressure you or push you away"

 

if you dont want her back, theres nothing wrong with telling her that. but why would you say that you dont want to push her back. its like saying, im waiting for you. and if this is a test from her. youre on dangerous water my friend. and then you send her a text on aim. just stop. im not saying this to hurt you. but ask any old member in here, this is another way of begging. what did you tell her on aim?

[SkyEmtRN]

Dude.. someone needs to take your computer away from you...

Stop contacting her.. gain some of your self respect back.

 

A person cannot miss another person if they are never given a chance too...

 

Stop contacting her..

 

I know but I really think I'm done this time. Its really hard to give up someone who has been in your life for 2 and half years every single day from morning to night. But I am done talking...those messages were all sent this morning and havn't said anything since then. So there is progress...

[sunflower11]

I am a little confused as you also posted an angry message on the Coping section. It's like you are two different people almost and I know how confusing feelings can be but..no offense, I don't think you should have told her the door is open. I just read your angry message and then you go and tell her the door will always be open? It's like sayng "hey, I am still your doormat for whenever you want to come back to me, you know I won't be able to say No cause I have no respect for myself after all you did to me I would take you back in a second!"...or at least that's how it felt when I thought about telling my ex I would always be here for him if he ever chose to return and then I thought about how badly he had treated me and why would I ever take him back and trust him again?

 

Again, no offense, I don't mean to sound like a bitch or anything. Stick up for yourself.

[SkyEmtRN]

i really hate to say this. theres really no patience for some people. first you send her texts like a mad man, and then your making things better by saying im okey with the breakup. kinda mixed signals dont you think?, well thats good. but then you say "I'm happy that your your meeting new people and I don't want to say anything that will pressure you or push you away"

 

if you dont want her back, theres nothing wrong with telling her that. but why would you say that you dont want to push her back. its like saying, im waiting for you. and if this is a test from her. youre on dangerous water my friend. and then you send her a text on aim. just stop. im not saying this to hurt you. but ask any old member in here, this is another way of begging. what did you tell her on aim?

 

I know I know I know...I'm seriously done after that Aim message...ugh it was the last thing i said. She hasnt read it yet, I blocked her aim account. I put all her stuff in a drawer that I won't open. I'm done...I really think I am done... I hope I am...I have no discipline but I'm trying so hard...I just wanted the conversation to end on good terms and then no contact. I didn't want it to be mean and nasty and then go on NC...

 

I really am done...I don't want to talk to her anymore...as much as I want to. She might text me for that Aim message but I am not going to reply.

[sunflower11]

Sorry for the double post!

[SkyEmtRN]

I am a little confused as you also posted an angry message on the Coping section. It's like you are two different people almost and I know how confusing feelings can be but..no offense, I don't think you should have told her the door is open. I just read your angry message and then you go and tell her the door will always be open? It's like sayng "hey, I am still your doormat for whenever you want to come back to me, you know I won't be able to say No cause I have no respect for myself after all you did to me I would take you back in a second!"...or at least that's how it felt when I thought about telling my ex I would always be here for him if he ever chose to return and then I thought about how badly he had treated me and why would I ever take him back and trust him again?

 

Again, no offense, I don't mean to sound like a bitch or anything. Stick up for yourself.

 

 

LOL its ok I deserve all this. And I know what you mean. I'm just stressed out with a lot of things and she's adding to the mess that I have days where I lose control and there are days where I'm in control. And I lose control when she ends up messaging me. Trust me, your not the only one tell me this but I'm just a stubborn ass. Today is an in control day lol at least right now.

 

But I really am going to go for NC. I literatly said everything I could to her, and she already got the message of my intentions.

 

But I its true, I would take her back but she has to prove it that she wants it to work. Its just since I'm a medical profession, I believe that everyone no matter how much pain and suffering they cuased, they still deserve a second chance.

 

I'm usually not all ove the place like i was yesterday and this morning. But I'm on the calm side right now and I feel pretty normal. I am understanding and accepting my loss. I really am going for NC.

[chados]

I know I know I know...I'm seriously done after that Aim message...ugh it was the last thing i said. She hasnt read it yet, I blocked her aim account. I put all her stuff in a drawer that I won't open. I'm done...I really think I am done... I hope I am...I have no discipline but I'm trying so hard...I just wanted the conversation to end on good terms and then no contact. I didn't want it to be mean and nasty and then go on NC...

 

I really am done...I don't want to talk to her anymore...as much as I want to. She might text me for that Aim message but I am not going to reply.

 

 

 

its just frustrating that people are making users here to get help, and when people are trying to help youre still not listening. people in here have been in your situation. the've done all the mistakes. thats why its important to listen. you arent the first one, and you want be the last one to do this. youre playing a game you will loose. first youre sending her a message where you say the door is open. then you text her as on aim, and before she can answer youre blocking her. do you understand how desperate this will look in her eyes?

 

sorry for sounding angry. you should only tell her that you understand why the breakup did occur. then tell her that you agree with it. and finish with. i can see now that this is probably the best for us both. and since youve texted her and blocked her before she could answer. i would tell her that "i think its for the best to not talk right now", maybe we could be friends some day. this will sound harsh, but she was the one dumping you and by that saying, i dont need want you anymore

[sunflower11]

I used to be like you too. I understand where you are coming from..I made many mistakes and I kept breaking NC. I was all over the place because when I felt the urge to contact him I would just do it without thinking about it...so I asked one of my friends if she would mind if I used her as like a venting person to talk to. Just to talk her as if she were him..so I would write and text her whatever I wanted to say to him.

 

Sometimes I would write something and put it on "hold". I gave myself a couple of hours and told myself "Ok, if you still feel like sending this message tonight, do it, but if the urge goes away and you realize it will be a mistake, delete it right away!"

 

So you have to fight through the moments of weakness and insecurities because they DO pass, for me sometimes it took a couple of hours and literally I forced myself to stay away from the computer and go for a walk to rationalize my thoughts. When I got back to the message I realized it would be a mistake to send it so I ended up not doing it

[SkyEmtRN]

its just frustrating that people are making users here to get help, and when people are trying to help youre still not listening. people in here have been in your situation. the've done all the mistakes. thats why its important to listen. you arent the first one, and you want be the last one to do this. youre playing a game you will loose. first youre sending her a message where you say the door is open. then you text her as on aim, and before she can answer youre blocking her. do you understand how desperate this will look in her eyes?

 

sorry for sounding angry. you should only tell her that you understand why the breakup did occur. then tell her that you agree with it. and finish with. i can see now that this is probably the best for us both. and since youve texted her and blocked her before she could answer. i would tell her that "i think its for the best to not talk right now", maybe we could be friends some day. this will sound harsh, but she was the one dumping you and by that saying, i dont need want you anymore

 

 

Yea I know and I understand what you mean. If anything she will respond to the message but I'm not gonna reply, she doesn't know I blocked her so I dont care. I am listening to people now. I gained my sense of self and I'm going the NC. No more me messaging her. I blocked her on aim so I wouldn't be able to message her that way. She already knows that I understand why we broke up. Like I said I said everything I could and have nothing more to say which is why I'm going nc. Done deal...I'm not texting her or messaging her its done...NC

 

I am listening to people trying to help me.

[chados]

Yea I know and I understand what you mean. If anything she will respond to the message but I'm not gonna reply, she doesn't know I blocked her so I dont care. I am listening to people now. I gained my sense of self and I'm going the NC. No more me messaging her. I blocked her on aim so I wouldn't be able to message her that way. She already knows that I understand why we broke up. Like I said I said everything I could and have nothing more to say which is why I'm going nc. Done deal...I'm not texting her or messaging her its done...NC

 

I am listening to people trying to help me.

 

 

 

 

but what are your plans? heal and if she comes back youll take it from there?

[SkyEmtRN]

but what are your plans? heal and if she comes back youll take it from there?

 

Well right now my main focus has shifted to my finals for the semester.

I'm going to take things day by day. I'm going to continue to work out and improve my physical image to gain my self confidence back. Which I have seen improvements and do feel better about myself. Take time to myself over the winter break and probably pick up a hobby. I was planning on trying to learn the keyboard while I'm on winter break and go back to my old karate school to help out.

 

I do have a back up girl in plan but thats just an old friend that we lost touch but she reached out to me one day. I'll try spending time with her to see how things go just to take my mind off the ex. That old friend was my 6th grade gf lol who turned into my best friend that we lost touch when college started. So who knows how that will go.

 

If she does come back, well...I'll just have to see what happens. People do change and they do realize what they gave up. We're eachothers first love so no matter what thats always going to stick with us, thats why its hard for me to give her up. If she still has the g/f quality and shows me she wants to work it through and if I am still single and if feelings do spark up again...yea I will give it a shot. Like I said, I always believe in giving people second chances no matter who they are.

 

She is still a really nice person we're just stressed out with our personal lives that it didn't make the relationship the way it should have.

 

If its one thing I learned from this relationship, is to not hang onto the past becuase it will make the future difficult and cause problems. She held onto anger becuase there was a time where I treated her badly but I woke up and realized what I was doing and slowly fixed my mistakes. She has a right to be angry at me but I did make my changes before we broke up. She just held onto that anger and let it build up.

Edited December 12, 2011 by SkyEmtRN

[chados]

Well right now my main focus has shifted to my finals for the semester.

I'm going to take things day by day. I'm going to continue to work out and improve my physical image to gain my self confidence back. Which I have seen improvements and do feel better about myself. Take time to myself over the winter break and probably pick up a hobby. I was planning on trying to learn the keyboard while I'm on winter break and go back to my old karate school to help out.

 

I do have a back up girl in plan but thats just an old friend that we lost touch but she reached out to me one day. I'll try spending time with her to see how things go just to take my mind off the ex. That old friend was my 6th grade gf lol who turned into my best friend that we lost touch when college started. So who knows how that will go.

 

If she does come back, well...I'll just have to see what happens. People do change and they do realize what they gave up. We're eachothers first love so no matter what thats always going to stick with us, thats why its hard for me to give her up. If she still has the g/f quality and shows me she wants to work it through and if I am still single and if feelings do spark up again...yea I will give it a shot. Like I said, I always believe in giving people second chances no matter who they are.

 

She is still a really nice person we're just stressed out with our personal lives that it didn't make the relationship the way it should have.

 

 

 

 

thats great. you are right, first girlfriend will always be something special. with that said, you really dont know whats out there before youve looked around. it could even be better with another girl. time will heal your wounds. i can tell you this. i had a really hard time after my last breakup. im not completely over it. but im feeling alot better now. sometimes you realize that you dont miss the relationship. but rather the feeling of not being alone.

[sunflower11]

I'm going to go ahead and say that..I don't like the term you used to describe this...back up girl in plan. A lot of people here were used as "back up" or distractions for someone to take their mind off their ex, but as soon as the ex came back, these "back up" people were dumped. Just a word of advice, don't use somebody to forget about somebody else if you are not ready to jump into another relationship. You could end up hurting this girl's feelings and it is obvious that you would take your ex back in a second..heck I am 3 months out and I know if he came back I wouldn't have the strength right now to turn him away, but I know better than to get involved with someone else and potentially hurting his feelings.

[chados]

I'm going to go ahead and say that..I don't like the term you used to describe this...back up girl in plan. A lot of people here were used as "back up" or distractions for someone to take their mind off their ex, but as soon as the ex came back, these "back up" people were dumped. Just a word of advice, don't use somebody to forget about somebody else if you are not ready to jump into another relationship. You could end up hurting this girl's feelings and it is obvious that you would take your ex back in a second..heck I am 3 months out and I know if he came back I wouldn't have the strength right now to turn him away, but I know better than to get involved with someone else and potentially hurting his feelings.

 

 

 

 

this is true. be careful

[SkyEmtRN]

thats great. you are right, first girlfriend will always be something special. with that said, you really dont know whats out there before youve looked around. it could even be better with another girl. time will heal your wounds. i can tell you this. i had a really hard time after my last breakup. im not completely over it. but im feeling alot better now. sometimes you realize that you dont miss the relationship. but rather the feeling of not being alone.

 

 

Yea we will see what happens in time. Memories will always be there and it can go either way with things. I don't know whats going to happen in the next 5 minutes. I can predict what will happen but it doesnt mean I will be right. So I sure as hell don't know what is going to happen in the days to come.

[SkyEmtRN]

I'm going to go ahead and say that..I don't like the term you used to describe this...back up girl in plan. A lot of people here were used as "back up" or distractions for someone to take their mind off their ex, but as soon as the ex came back, these "back up" people were dumped. Just a word of advice, don't use somebody to forget about somebody else if you are not ready to jump into another relationship. You could end up hurting this girl's feelings and it is obvious that you would take your ex back in a second..heck I am 3 months out and I know if he came back I wouldn't have the strength right now to turn him away, but I know better than to get involved with someone else and potentially hurting his feelings.

 

Oh don't worry I'm not going to jump into a relationship. I have no intention of getting into one right now. And I'm not that type of person. It would be more of a friendly basis. I'm still working on myself before I decide to open the door for someone else. But as of now the door for my ex is always going to be open. No one said I couldn't have 2 doors open lol. And yes I would take her back but she would have to work for it and show me. I'm not just going to take her like that. Ha yea right! I'll be damned if I make it that easy for her lol.

[chados]

Oh don't worry I'm not going to jump into a relationship. I have no intention of getting into one right now. And I'm not that type of person. It would be more of a friendly basis. I'm still working on myself before I decide to open the door for someone else. But as of now the door for my ex is always going to be open. No one said I couldn't have 2 doors open lol. And yes I would take her back but she would have to work for it and show me. I'm not just going to take her like that. Ha yea right! I'll be damned if I make it that easy for her lol.

 

 

 

thats what we all say . but you will fall in love very easily, trust me on this. its not real love, but you dont know before it hits you. and "she will have to work for it" thats also something we all say, but after your treads, i find it hard to believe. right now you will say that its on friendly basis, but man just wait until you reach a point where your loneliness peaks "if it havent already". im just saying, watch out.

[SkyEmtRN]

thats what we all say . but you will fall in love very easily, trust me on this. its not real love, but you dont know before it hits you. and "she will have to work for it" thats also something we all say, but after your treads, i find it hard to believe. right now you will say that its on friendly basis, but man just wait until you reach a point where your loneliness peaks "if it havent already". im just saying, watch out.

 

Lol I get what your saying.

Yea I'm pretty close the lonely peak and I know its going to hit me hard during the holidays knowing that I won't be able to spend it with her while she's probably going to spend it with the other guy. Ok got to stop that thought before it throws me on a rant.

 

I don't know whats going to happen with the other girl and I really don't want anything to happen. It's an old best friend that was my g/f in 6th grade lol and we havn't seen eachother since High School ended.

 

I don't want a relationship any time soon knowing that I still want to improve myself. I don't want to go through Gigs. I'll let the ex go through that so she can fall on her face and realize what she left behind and then we'll see if she comes crying back. If she does then she will have to work for it, I'm sure of that becuase I don't want to take her back right away and jump into things. I told her if she ever came back we could work things slow and start from scratch (that was a while ago I said that, not today lol).

[SkyEmtRN]

So she did text me about the aim message. She said "I got your message ty." Then I waited and then she said "lol you send me a msg but your not gonna talk back" Then I waited a little more. Then I said "Hey, sry bit bzy atm, have a g'nite"

 

she didn't say anything that she messages me not to long ago saying "its all good. u too. sry. i want to be your friend. u dont. not sure how to handle it."

 

I did not respond and thats exactly how its going to stay

[chados]

So she did text me about the aim message. She said "I got your message ty." Then I waited and then she said "lol you send me a msg but your not gonna talk back" Then I waited a little more. Then I said "Hey, sry bit bzy atm, have a g'nite"

 

she didn't say anything that she messages me not to long ago saying "its all good. u too. sry. i want to be your friend. u dont. not sure how to handle it."

 

I did not respond and thats exactly how its going to stay

 

 

dude. just give her a last text. tell her that you feel that it would be best to not talk right now, tell her that you believe the breakup was for the best. and leave it there.. she wants to be your friend, she just said she's dating a new guy. you dont want to be her friend. not when youre miserable. just write that and leave it. no more texting, do not care if she says, it makes me sad that youre not talking to me. she's more selfish then what should be legal

[Art_Critic]

I did not respond and thats exactly how its going to stay

 

... you have yet to stop contacting her...

[SkyEmtRN]

... you have yet to stop contacting her...

 

 

That was a contact to get her to stop contacting me lol

[SkyEmtRN]

dude. just give her a last text. tell her that you feel that it would be best to not talk right now, tell her that you believe the breakup was for the best. and leave it there.. she wants to be your friend, she just said she's dating a new guy. you dont want to be her friend. not when youre miserable. just write that and leave it. no more texting, do not care if she says, it makes me sad that youre not talking to me. she's more selfish then what should be legal

 

I thought that was a way of starting NC....I wasn't going to message her when she sent her most recent text and was gonna continue there.

 

I'm affraid to give her a last text b/c I still want her in my life or atleast for her to come back in the future....if situations allow it to work agian.