chados Posted December 14, 2011 Share Posted December 14, 2011 Question (I already know what Artic going to say lol) IF she does message me tonight more than once... Should I say: "I'm not mad or trying to be rude, but this is for the best, please talk to me only if you want to rekindle the relationship" ??? Just so she can stop messaging me or is it better to just leave it as is and continue the NC? as Artic will scream out to me when he reads this haha and i will laugh when art tells you DO NOT ANSWER. no you dont want to say "only if you want to rekindle the relationship" then she knows that you want her back, i seriously think you should read this tread once more. its not your job to get her back, its her job taking you back if that what she wants. Link to post Share on other sites
Author SkyEmtRN Posted December 14, 2011 Author Share Posted December 14, 2011 haha and i will laugh when art tells you DO NOT ANSWER. no you dont want to say "only if you want to rekindle the relationship" then she knows that you want her back, i seriously think you should read this tread once more. its not your job to get her back, its her job taking you back if that what she wants. Lol, I do to. It was just a question that popped into my head. Still staying NC but just wanted to clear that off my mind. Just have to wait till she is home and to see if she will get on AIM. I have her blocked on the one usually talks to me but I also have a second account that she doesnt know of so I can see if she is online. Then I'll sign on an hour after she's on. Link to post Share on other sites
chados Posted December 14, 2011 Share Posted December 14, 2011 Lol, I do to. It was just a question that popped into my head. Still staying NC but just wanted to clear that off my mind. Just have to wait till she is home and to see if she will get on AIM. I have her blocked on the one usually talks to me but I also have a second account that she doesnt know of so I can see if she is online. Then I'll sign on an hour after she's on. well thats a good way to not having to obviously ignore her. but you still dont get it. and take this from me. the more youre checking up on her the longer the pain will be if she isnt responding in a way you want her to. its about healing. the better youre feeling the easier it will be to get her back. you want to improve yourself, and you want to be the one she fell in love with, not someone who is acting unhappy. i know this is hard to understand. and you might dont believe that you will fell this way by just checking aim. neither did i. Link to post Share on other sites
Author SkyEmtRN Posted December 15, 2011 Author Share Posted December 15, 2011 well thats a good way to not having to obviously ignore her. but you still dont get it. and take this from me. the more youre checking up on her the longer the pain will be if she isnt responding in a way you want her to. its about healing. the better youre feeling the easier it will be to get her back. you want to improve yourself, and you want to be the one she fell in love with, not someone who is acting unhappy. i know this is hard to understand. and you might dont believe that you will fell this way by just checking aim. neither did i. Ok I think I get it. So basically its to make her think I don't want her anymore by remaining NC. Kind of like reverse psychology-ing her ass. It's a bit hard to not check up on her since I have a lot of free time on my hand since I'm just studying for finals. I do feel a lot better though since a few days ago... Link to post Share on other sites
chados Posted December 15, 2011 Share Posted December 15, 2011 Ok I think I get it. So basically its to make her think I don't want her anymore by remaining NC. Kind of like reverse psychology-ing her ass. It's a bit hard to not check up on her since I have a lot of free time on my hand since I'm just studying for finals. I do feel a lot better though since a few days ago... it shouldnt be easy, im still doing it. just saying dont make that mistake. im still having bad days because of that, i was fine for weeks. but i deleted all messages i had from her. ive deleted all from my phone, but those where just some bad ones. but when i deleted all the good ones from facebook everything started again. its not as bad as before, no way near. but im still in pain. ive been on a date, and that made me feel alot better. but im being careful, cause i dont want to hurt her or myself by rushing things. and as i said before, im not sure im over my ex Link to post Share on other sites
chados Posted December 15, 2011 Share Posted December 15, 2011 (edited) Ok I think I get it. So basically its to make her think I don't want her anymore by remaining NC. Kind of like reverse psychology-ing her ass. It's a bit hard to not check up on her since I have a lot of free time on my hand since I'm just studying for finals. I do feel a lot better though since a few days ago... it shouldnt be easy, im still doing it. just saying dont make that mistake. im still having bad days because of that, i was fine for weeks. but i deleted all messages i had from her. ive deleted all from my phone, but those where just some bad ones. but when i deleted all the good ones from facebook everything started again. its not as bad as before, no way near. but im still in pain. "So basically its to make her think I don't want her anymore by remaining NC" well almost. its about giving her mixed signals, you never said theres no chance. youre just telling her its time for YOU to move on, youre not going to let her string you along. and you dont feel miserable about her doing the same. and yes it is reversed psychology ive been on a date, and that made me feel alot better. but im being careful, cause i dont want to hurt her or myself by rushing things. and as i said before, im not sure im over my ex double post... didnt answer your question in the first one Edited December 15, 2011 by chados Link to post Share on other sites
Author SkyEmtRN Posted December 15, 2011 Author Share Posted December 15, 2011 So I don't have her block as I did before. Part of me is expecting her to come online and part of me doesn't want her to come online. If she does come online I'm a bit worried of what she going to say even though I won't respond. And I know when I see her name sign on my heart races. It's a weird feeling I have right now. She normally would be on right now... Its like if she does or doesn't come online I'll care but won't care. Link to post Share on other sites
chados Posted December 15, 2011 Share Posted December 15, 2011 So I don't have her block as I did before. Part of me is expecting her to come online and part of me doesn't want her to come online. If she does come online I'm a bit worried of what she going to say even though I won't respond. And I know when I see her name sign on my heart races. It's a weird feeling I have right now. She normally would be on right now... Its like if she does or doesn't come online I'll care but won't care. im feeling the exact opposite. i do not enjoy seeing her on facebook, but lets say she isnt online for a week, well than i might feel different. this is normal, and you will start to analyze things, just dont. there's always a reason why they dont do this or whey they do that. and most often its not anything strange about it. she could be out shopping or whatever. who cares? its still not anything you can do about it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author SkyEmtRN Posted December 15, 2011 Author Share Posted December 15, 2011 (edited) im feeling the exact opposite. i do not enjoy seeing her on facebook, but lets say she isnt online for a week, well than i might feel different. this is normal, and you will start to analyze things, just dont. there's always a reason why they dont do this or whey they do that. and most often its not anything strange about it. she could be out shopping or whatever. who cares? its still not anything you can do about it. Good point. Judging on the time...I have it in my mind now that she is not going to come online. I guess its a good thing and it will be offically 1 day gone by with nc Edited December 15, 2011 by SkyEmtRN Link to post Share on other sites
Author SkyEmtRN Posted December 15, 2011 Author Share Posted December 15, 2011 So, as I thought she was not going to sign online into AIM...Well...she did and when I saw her name come online...my pulse rate shot up to about 180 beats per minute....(not really though)....Lets see what she has to say for tonight shall we? Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted December 15, 2011 Share Posted December 15, 2011 Good Gosh dude.. grow a set and block and delete her.. This is absolutely crazy that you are sitting there watching your IM chat's to see if she comes online.. You want NC.. I might add that surfing her FB profile IS breaking NC and so is monitoring her online movements.. Why is the world do you want to waste more energy on her by wasting your entire evening watching the chat windows to see if she shows up ? Stop it.. seriously.. you are just touching that hot stove over and over... Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted December 15, 2011 Share Posted December 15, 2011 Lets see what she has to say for tonight shall we? Is this some sort of game to you ? Do you not want to heal and feel better ? Link to post Share on other sites
Author SkyEmtRN Posted December 15, 2011 Author Share Posted December 15, 2011 Is this some sort of game to you ? Do you not want to heal and feel better ? Lol, she didn't say anything. Nothing happened. Still NC. I don't sit there and wait, I just take a quick look at it, its not like I'm starring at the chat like it was some porn clip. Gotta turn it into a game to make it entertaining and not depressing, thats just a coping method to me And her coming online is a way of me knowing that she is thinking about me. Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted December 15, 2011 Share Posted December 15, 2011 And her coming online is a way of me knowing that she is thinking about me. Oh Come on, You are better than this... I'd love to sit here and continue to post to help you dude.. but it seems you are not looking for advice or just not willing to following even the simplest steps in stopping your hurt... Take Care.. Hope it all works out for you.. Put yourself first... Link to post Share on other sites
Author SkyEmtRN Posted December 15, 2011 Author Share Posted December 15, 2011 Oh Come on, You are better than this... I'd love to sit here and continue to post to help you dude.. but it seems you are not looking for advice or just not willing to following even the simplest steps in stopping your hurt... Take Care.. Hope it all works out for you.. Put yourself first... I am following the advice. NC as planned. It still the early stages. I have no intention of blocking her fb or anything becuase I feel there is no need to block it and she doesn't use it on a regular basis like other people. And I feel that if I block her or delete her facebook, I will be burning the bridge and ruining any hopes of reconciliation. And that I do not want to do. Link to post Share on other sites
magro Posted December 15, 2011 Share Posted December 15, 2011 I am following the advice. NC as planned. It still the early stages. I have no intention of blocking her fb or anything becuase I feel there is no need to block it and she doesn't use it on a regular basis like other people. And I feel that if I block her or delete her facebook, I will be burning the bridge and ruining any hopes of reconciliation. And that I do not want to do. Listen, take this from someone with experience, the longer you have any mode of communications with your ex is the longer your putting off your own recovery. You ARE going to break NC if you see every time she comes on line, if you can continually see what she is doing. At that point you're going to get very badly burned and then you'll go no contact with the thought of ever speaking to your ex again a sickening proposition and a composition of nightmares. Skip this step for your own sake and delete her. **** the bridge, there are plenty of other ways to cross a river. She's not that special or amazing or unique, she dumped you, so its not worth your time to constantly monitor her. Link to post Share on other sites
chados Posted December 15, 2011 Share Posted December 15, 2011 you dont understand this. the sooner you disappear from her life, the easier it will be to get her back. do you really want her to think your sitting at your computer all the time?, im guessing since you know when she's online, you two probably had a chat at that time?. well this is not going to happen. you think youre doing well by "just checking up on her" but this is really not a good idea. i agree with art here. its like breaking NC. it might not affect her any different. but it will affect you. you dont have to block her on facebook. but what you can do is block all her updates so you cant see her pictures or status. Link to post Share on other sites
Author SkyEmtRN Posted December 15, 2011 Author Share Posted December 15, 2011 you dont understand this. the sooner you disappear from her life, the easier it will be to get her back. do you really want her to think your sitting at your computer all the time?, im guessing since you know when she's online, you two probably had a chat at that time?. well this is not going to happen. you think youre doing well by "just checking up on her" but this is really not a good idea. i agree with art here. its like breaking NC. it might not affect her any different. but it will affect you. you dont have to block her on facebook. but what you can do is block all her updates so you cant see her pictures or status. She doesn't even update fb she just uses it to sign on and check my profile. Ad ok I'll delete her name off aim. We still remain nc and day 2 has begun Link to post Share on other sites
chados Posted December 15, 2011 Share Posted December 15, 2011 She doesn't even update fb she just uses it to sign on and check my profile. Ad ok I'll delete her name off aim. We still remain nc and day 2 has begun haha my girl never used facebook, she just checked other peoples updates. now she's doing the opposite. just saying, better to do it now Link to post Share on other sites
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