Letter to self

[sunflower11]

I wrote a letter to myself and wanted to share because it has been incredibly useful for me to get all my feelings out there. So here it is if anyone cares to read or write a letter to yourself, its really therapeutic! It's a little long but, just thought I would post it anyway.

 

Dear ---,

 

I know you are hurting right now and you have been for a while. I know you thought he was the one for you, the one you could trust, marry, have kids with, and many many dogs. You had your hopes and dreams built around him and what a life with him would be like. I know you trusted him before moving and you were scared he might stop loving you or leave you if you moved back home. But YOU made the decision because it was what was best for you. Do you remember how many nights you spent alone in that apartment just watching tv and waiting for a job to come your way? Do you remember how stuck you felt and like your life was going nowhere? Do you remember that deep down you wanted to move back home but you were scared of so many things, your work permit, not being able to go back to the US, and most of all you were scared of how that would affect your relationship with him. And you decided to move and it wasn’t an easy decision and he stood by your side and you thought the roses he sent meant he was giving you his blessing and he would support you no matter what. And he didn’t.

 

You didn’t know he was going to change so quickly and the relationship would come to an end. You cried for too many nights, feeling dead inside because the one sure thing in your life was now slowly slipping from your fingers and there was nothing you could do about it. You blamed yourself because you thought that he had left you because you had moved and you wished you had stayed where you were if only to maintain the relationship. But you have to understand, that was not the best situation for you. You were wasting your life and talent away and you KNEW you needed to get out there and do something and you DID make the right decision. Don’t regret it or feel bad. If he really loved you and care about your well-being, your career aspirations, and dreams, he would have understood that you coming back home was the best decision for YOU and he would have been there for you.

 

It has been almost 3 months now since he broke up with you and you still cry a lot and you still suffer because of the rejection and most of all because of how he has easily ignored you when you thought you were the most precious thing to him. You ask yourself every night, how could he do this to me if he loved me? How can he sleep at night knowing I am hurting like this? Well he does, and he sleeps soundly and you know how bad he snores too! The truth is, he didn’t even fight for you, he just took the easy way out. Even though in your mind you think, if someone really loved you, he would have waited for you and the distance would not have been a problem, not everyone thinks the way you do. You know love is not enough. You have to realize that if not now, he would have ended it later, maybe after you had gone to see him for Christmas and boy, would that hurt. It’s better you are out of this now, dealing with it and getting over it, than later.

 

Remember how you were willing to give up many things for him? You know yourself and you know what you want to do with your life. You want to travel, help people, learn, go back to school, work abroad, join the PeaceCorps. Would he have been ok with you doing all those things? Probably not, and you were willing to settle and just marry him in a couple of years and find a decent job and live your life with him. Because you thought love and him were more important than pursuing what you want deep down. Because you thought he was your whooole happiness and reason for being and all you wanted to do was love him everyday and that would make you happy.

 

You are beautiful, smart, talented, caring, loving, funny. You are worth a lot and you deserve someone who won’t ask you to give up on your dreams, you deserve someone who wants to share them with you, to travel with you, to read with you.

 

You always hated his negativity, his anger outbursts, his laziness and lack of ambition. He hates reading and likes playing videogames. He punches things when he gets angry and curses A LOT. Can you see how different you two are? You are caring and compassionate and want to help others. He is full of anger and hate that are not good for you.

 

I know it hurts and you are scared. You don’t even know if you want him back and, why would you? He hasn’t treated you with respect, he broke your trust and he doesn’t care how badly you are hurting. Your friends give a damn about you and he doesn’t. Why would you let him back into your life?

 

Be strong and believe that this happened for a reason. Be strong and don’t call him, text him, or email him again. He hasn’t contacted you at all and ignored every attempt you have made. That is a clear message that you have been ignoring for too long. It’s time to let go and move on ---. Don’t let yourself get sucked back into the cycle. You are TIRED of thinking about him, dreaming about him, about the special moments that you had, about the way he would cuddle with you. But that is over. Those moments are gone and are never coming back. He is not who you fell in love with, he is not who you thought he was. You don’t love this man, you don’t love the person he has shown you he can be. Don’t let him have any more power over you and if you have to cry some more, that’s ok, cry. Flush him out of your system because he is right, he is poison in your life and you deserve better.

 

I love you ---, because of who you are. A man is not your whole happiness and a man doesn’t contribute to your identity. You are yourself and you can be happy without him. You have gotten over break ups before, it took you a while and you know you regret not putting an end to those chapters sooner. So do it now, it is a great opportunity to prove to yourself that you can do it, that you can be happy without him, and it is a great opportunity to chase your dreams, do something with your life because YOU want to. Do the things you have always wanted to do without someone there to hold you back. You are free to be happy again. You don’t have to feel more pain. I love you and be strong, in a couple of months you will be laughing and will be over this. Turn the page and close this chapter.

[fistandantulus]

Excellent! It must have felt really good to write all these down. I just thought writing a letter to future you might be a good deal too.So you can remember what he put you through when he shamelessly asks to get back. Then you can read that letter, remind yourself how he hurt you and kick his ass to the moon

[sunflower11]

Thanks fistandantulus! and yes, but better than writing it was reading it to myself! I like your idea as well haha kicking his ass to the moon would be nice after the hell he put me through !! you should try writing a letter as well