Any ideas for "falling back in love"?

[maybealone]

One bit of advice that seems to be somewhat common here is to rekindle your feelings for your spouse and to fall back in love. I believe that this is possible (though not necessarily in every marriage), but I have no idea how.

 

I've tried a few things, such as both of us taking a lot of time off of from household stuff (without kids, this was pretty easy) and doing lots of fun things; having in-depth discussions about our relationship; and doing nice things for him.

 

We have not yet tried MC. He is willing if I truly feel like it would help, but I'm not sure I feel comfortable making him do something he doesn't really want to do.

 

I am open to suggestions on what else to try!

[reboot]

Google "Mort Fertel"

[Gunny376]

Yes it is possible but like anything worth having you and he both are going to have to earn it the old fashion way ~ you're going to have to work and sweat for it.

 

Its not going to be easy and at times its not going to be pretty and fun.

 

But it can be done. You need but have the will to try.

 

I would suggest that for him he read a book entitled "Light Her Fire" and for you to read a book entitled "Light His Fire" and collectively you read a book entitled "How Can We Light A Fire When The Kids Are Driving Us Crazy"

What happens all to often is that modern day life piles up on us ~ we demand too much of one another our children ~ our children demand too much of us ~ What "How Can We Light A Fire When The Kids Are Driving Us Crazy" goes into from the very beginning is that the husband and wife as soon as they get in the door spend the first thirty minutes with one another, with no TV, no newspaper, no radio ~ and no kids. Kids have to learn that this is Mommy's and Daddy re-connect time.

 

What it takes to get them is what it takes to keep them ~ and that's a door that swings both ways.

 

And then there's the way things are right now. The economy is in a slump ~ the politicans at both the State House and the Nations capitol don't have a clue what its like for the average man on the street. You don't know from one day or the next if you've got a job or not. Years worth of savings can be wiped out in months. The average American home is one paycheck away from having a refrigerator crsis ~ and two months away from being on the streets ~ homeless.

 

Recent college graduates are moving back in within their parents. The one you sent away all those years ago are moving back in and bringing more with them (daughter in laws and grandchildren). I know of one that was pulling down $70,000+ a year with IBM and lost his job and had to move back in with his parents.

 

All of this economic and finacial stress is bad enough ~ even when the economy is good. But even then relationship and marriage. IC is good for the both of you ~ and I don't care who you are ~ we all need to end up on the couch sooner or later. Ditto ~ with MC. I look at both as nothing more than just a "tune-up"

 

But its not enough ~ you've got to manage the day-to-day sort of like if you watch your pennies you won't have to worry about your dollars. If you manage your day to day relationshipp you won't have to worry about waking up thirty years besides someone saying to yourself "Who tha' Hell Are You!?"

 

A lot of parents don't really this but the amount of attention and time that a teacher and teacher's aide can give and individual student is very limited. The don't understand that for every hour that a child (not counting lunch breaks and such ~ but actual learning time ~ that they should be spending a minimum of amount of time each evening with thier children at home ~ and it shouldn't just fall on the shoulders of one parent. Parenthood doesn't end at conception you know~ My point with that is that if your not investing yourself mentally, emotionally, pyschologically into each other every single day ~ don't be surprised you grow apart over the course of time ~ you think?