Waking up in the mornings...

[SelfCentered]

It's still the hardest thing to do.

 

I can feel like I've had the best progress in the world the past week. I'm moving on, counting my blessings, living for myself again. Yet she is still the first thought that creeps into my head when my alarm goes off.

 

Usually in the capacity of "Oh my god. I'm single. She left me".

 

Until I can wake up and think about anything, anything else first, I won't feel like I'm moving on at all.

 

She's still dedicating my life

[Popehappycat]

After my breakup many, many moons ago, I'd wake up and for about 10 seconds, it felt like any other day. Nothing on my mind and no knot in my stomach. Then I'd suddenly remember that she was gone and in that moment, it ALL came back. It's definitely weird to feel yourself go from a normal neutral to that sickening low in a split second. But it allowed me to realize that there *really* isn't anything wrong with me and that it's all in my head. People often find themselves trying to get their heart to listen to their brain, but it's your brain that needs to listen to your brain. You have it in you to be OK, it's just something else to make yourself realize and believe it. The only cure I know of is time and the realization that this, too, shall pass. Hang in there, none of us are alone when we're here.

[sunflower11]

It was the same for me but for the past 2 days I've had no dreams about him at all! I have been waking up and thinking about my last dream and for some reason last night I dreamt about baking cupcakes. Anyway, this morning yes I thought about him after the cupcakes but only because I thought "I didn't dream about him and I didn't think about him right away after I woke up" so of course that triggered a memory of him. Still, I think I am making progress if he isn't the first thing to pop into my head when I wake up and I am glad I'm able to sleep through the night now without him hunting my dreams. It's been 3 months for me of dreaming about him and feeling that anxiety in the morning..it really hits you sometimes cause you feel the loneliness and emptiness right after waking up. But You will get there!

[SelfCentered]

Thank you for the kind words.

 

I know, deep down, that all of this will be a time thing.

 

I guess this morning I was desperate enough to log onto LS, post a thread and hope someone would come back and say "SELFCENTERED! I can MAGICALLY make it all better because I am the RELATIONSHIP WIZARD".

 

It's human nature to want a quick fix isn't it! Today was bad for me from the off, I've been down and miserable. Just walked in from work and felt just as bad.

 

But, if all I can do is persevere than that's just what I'll do.

[davesterr]

I realised that despite that i really do love my ex , i think i would be doing pretty fine if i was living a great life.

If i had friends , a great job , living in a place with warmer weather then no doubt would the feeling of lonelyness not affect me this much.

 

But since i don't have any of that , being single hits me so much more.

Because my ex was the reason i was happy.

Without her i am not happy.

So i think that the best way to really get over someone is to just get yourself in a place in life where you are happy.

This might seem super hard and might take years but it can be done.

When you realise you can be happy in life without your ex then you will cling on less.

But it is mostly because our lives are empty without them , that it becomes so hard.

 

I too fear the dreadful mornings , and when im not thinking of my ex im thinking of hiding away from all the tasks i have to do and just want to hybernate and hide from it all.

But i know that if i was living a great life and had nothing but good things to look up to that i would be doing that day , i would wake up on purpose and get ready with a smile.

It's just the hard work and fear to failure that gets in the way because the latter makes the first one impossible to do.

 

Ps: don't feel bad about not feeling good.

Atleast you managed to go to work and do whatever was neccessary to complete your daily routine.

I myself slept in till 6.30 pm because i didn't wanna face the day.

Not only does that screw up your sleep schedule but it also ruins your entire day and your looks lol.

So if you think you're doing bad then just look at me and compliment yourself for going to work.

Edited December 13, 2011 by davesterr

[flyguy23]

davesterr, I agree with you and I am much of the same. I don't have any of that and it makes it very hard to move on. The hardest part for me is sleeping all the way through the night. I wake up around 4 or 5 am and think of her and can not go back to sleep. It is weird and I hate it so much, I just want to be able to sleep all through the night.

[EyeAlone]

If i had friends , a great job , living in a place with warmer weather then no doubt would the feeling of lonelyness not affect me this much.

Eh, trust me, that doesn't guarantee that you'd be feeling better. My friends, job, and warm weather cannot wake up in the morning with me and tell me that it loves/they love me.

 

I wake up around 4 or 5 am and think of her and can not go back to sleep.

Me too, and that's been the pattern in all of my breakups. Those hours are evil

[Standard-Fare]

It's weird that you all say the mornings are toughest; it's the nighttime that gets to me the most.

 

A. I miss his physical presence SO freakin' much, and I find myself almost groping toward his absent space in the bed, seeking warmth but finding none.

 

B. At night, when I have no other distractions, that's when the thoughts can really start spinning around in my head. And since the breakup is dominating my mind right now, I have no choice but to mull it over.

 

In the morning, with the sun shining again and a day of some distractions ahead of me, I can do OK.

[SelfCentered]

It's weird that you all say the mornings are toughest; it's the nighttime that gets to me the most.

 

A. I miss his physical presence SO freakin' much, and I find myself almost groping toward his absent space in the bed, seeking warmth but finding none.

 

B. At night, when I have no other distractions, that's when the thoughts can really start spinning around in my head. And since the breakup is dominating my mind right now, I have no choice but to mull it over.

 

In the morning, with the sun shining again and a day of some distractions ahead of me, I can do OK.

 

I can understand that. It's less of a problem for me because I only saw her on weekends and fell asleep next to her then, so during the week my single bed has only ever been made for me!

 

I'm quite good at night. I put on some comedy (8 Out of 10 Cats!), listen to music, chill out in the bath and list everything I want to do in the future. Night times for me are very positive actually...I usually have several minor 'epiphanies' that make me accept what has happened and feel better about moving on.

 

I guess what doesn't help in the morning is that I have to get up and go to work which is hardly the happiest thing in the world.

 

Ps: don't feel bad about not feeling good.

Atleast you managed to go to work and do whatever was neccessary to complete your daily routine.

I myself slept in till 6.30 pm because i didn't wanna face the day.

Not only does that screw up your sleep schedule but it also ruins your entire day and your looks lol.

So if you think you're doing bad then just look at me and compliment yourself for going to work.

 

Dude there have been several occasions where I've spent all day doing nothing! Also, I've had a shed load of time off this past month from work for several reasons so it's not like I've had to face the 9-5 thing too much.

 

You're find a way to get through it all man. We all will.

 

Appreciate the feedback guys.

[beefolive]

Its funny...It has taken me 6 months to stop the crying, feeling sorry for myself and thinking she was all i had.

 

I now have positive days and weeks..Like has been said though, she is the first person i think of in the morning and last thing at night.

 

I always tell myself it could have been different and to hold out hope. However, if she had wanted to speak to me or anything like that she would have reached out.

 

The truth is, as hard as it is to accept that she has moved on and doesnt want me!.

 

Im hopeful that somewhere down the line, something positive will come of this, im just not sure when or where.

 

It really is tough dealing with something like this and today happens to be a bad day.

[flyguy23]

Its funny...It has taken me 6 months to stop the crying, feeling sorry for myself and thinking she was all i had.

 

I now have positive days and weeks..Like has been said though, she is the first person i think of in the morning and last thing at night.

 

I always tell myself it could have been different and to hold out hope. However, if she had wanted to speak to me or anything like that she would have reached out.

 

The truth is, as hard as it is to accept that she has moved on and doesnt want me!.

 

Im hopeful that somewhere down the line, something positive will come of this, im just not sure when or where.

 

It really is tough dealing with something like this and today happens to be a bad day.

 

That is a great outlook/attitude to have. I really need to accept the same thing. We broke up in September and that was a long time ago. She has been in contact and even has said she wanted me back but then she stopped talking to me again and went back to her ways so I really need to move on because I am wasting so much time on her. I refuse to take this into the new year.

[moosekaka]

this was the one thing (waking up not wanting to get out of bed) that made me finally seek help (therapy). One thing that was suggested is to impose some structure that forces you to wake up, like an appointment (other than work of course) to go for a run or yoga etc

[moosekaka]

I too fear the dreadful mornings , and when im not thinking of my ex im thinking of hiding away from all the tasks i have to do and just want to hybernate and hide from it all.

But i know that if i was living a great life and had nothing but good things to look up to that i would be doing that day , i would wake up on purpose and get ready with a smile.

It's just the hard work and fear to failure that gets in the way because the latter makes the first one impossible to do.

 

YES, this is how I feel exactly.....wanting to hide and hibernate and escape from facing the realities of life. My therapist thinks it might have to do with some brain chemistry as well? once I'm out of bed, its OK, its getting up that's the difficult part...

[ZimboGon]

My sleep has been destroyed since the break-up. I go to sleep around 5 am and wake up around 1 or 2 pm. Then it takes me two hours or so to be finally willing to get out of bed, because i just lay there thinking about her. She was pretty much my motivation to do anything and now its gone.

 

I had people over to my place the other day to hang, and i haven't cleaned it in 5 weeks since the break-up and there is garbage and clothes and trash everywhere.

[Rimer]

I realised that despite that i really do love my ex , i think i would be doing pretty fine if i was living a great life.

If i had friends , a great job , living in a place with warmer weather then no doubt would the feeling of lonelyness not affect me this much.

 

But since i don't have any of that , being single hits me so much more.

Because my ex was the reason i was happy.

Without her i am not happy.

So i think that the best way to really get over someone is to just get yourself in a place in life where you are happy.

This might seem super hard and might take years but it can be done.

When you realise you can be happy in life without your ex then you will cling on less.

But it is mostly because our lives are empty without them , that it becomes so hard.

 

I too fear the dreadful mornings , and when im not thinking of my ex im thinking of hiding away from all the tasks i have to do and just want to hybernate and hide from it all.

But i know that if i was living a great life and had nothing but good things to look up to that i would be doing that day , i would wake up on purpose and get ready with a smile.

It's just the hard work and fear to failure that gets in the way because the latter makes the first one impossible to do.

 

Ps: don't feel bad about not feeling good.

Atleast you managed to go to work and do whatever was neccessary to complete your daily routine.

I myself slept in till 6.30 pm because i didn't wanna face the day.

Not only does that screw up your sleep schedule but it also ruins your entire day and your looks lol.

So if you think you're doing bad then just look at me and compliment yourself for going to work.

 

davesterr, I agree with you and I am much of the same. I don't have any of that and it makes it very hard to move on. The hardest part for me is sleeping all the way through the night. I wake up around 4 or 5 am and think of her and can not go back to sleep. It is weird and I hate it so much, I just want to be able to sleep all through the night.

 

 

I'm in the same boat. My ex was my best friend. We were together for 8 years during that time I didn't really make any new friends and those few I had I lost em. I only now have two close friends. The evenings are the worst for me because I just sit around and mope about my life and missing her. I only get sleep of 3-5 hours during the week and I do work. During the weekends I just wanna sleep out the whole weekend. I go to a gym but lately i've lost motivation for even that But yes.. The first thought in my mind in the morning is her.. The worst parts are when you dream about your ex and you being together again. I don't usually remember what I see dreams about but when I see these kinda dreams OF COURSE I remember them