CurlyIam Posted May 29, 2004 Share Posted May 29, 2004 Hi, LoveShack I have a question for you... SAturday night special... There it goes: how do you know who you are? What are the elements defining you are? Mind you, i am not asking who you are, but what defines you...and where are you looking when trying to answer this question. In an era where you know what "the position" requires you to be, when you have you own system of values about how it's good to be and the past situation when you've probably reacted differently, put in an another totally different system to adjust to... how do you know? Where are you looking for the essence of you? How do you get intouch with it? Link to post Share on other sites
quankanne Posted May 29, 2004 Share Posted May 29, 2004 what defines you? my faith, my culture and my family background: I am Hispanic Catholic earth-mama, and that's pretty much reflected in my beliefs, decisions and actions. What keeps me grounded in that? Images of my dear departed mama, forever getting after me to "be good," and keeping her as my role model of "phenomenal woman." so ... I'll never call you after 9 p.m. unless it's a dire emergency, I'll always be sure to bring you a nice little gift whenever I come to visit, I'll pray for you whenever you need uplifting and I'll love your children like they were my own, simply because you're my friend. Link to post Share on other sites
moimeme Posted May 30, 2004 Share Posted May 30, 2004 how do you know who you are? What are the elements defining you? Who I am is a factor of who I want to be. There are values, beliefs, and ways of living that I admire and/or think are wise to follow. I try to live in congruence with those values and beliefs. I try to be the sort of person I admire - or actually a combination of people and ideas I admire. I'm not there yet, of course, or even close, but that's how I'm going about figuring out what elements will be the ones to define me. Link to post Share on other sites
dyermaker Posted May 30, 2004 Share Posted May 30, 2004 how do you know who you are? A system of mirrors. Link to post Share on other sites
Author CurlyIam Posted May 30, 2004 Author Share Posted May 30, 2004 Originally posted by moimeme how do you know who you are? What are the elements defining you? Who I am is a factor of who I want to be. There are values, beliefs, and ways of living that I admire and/or think are wise to follow. I try to live in congruence with those values and beliefs. I try to be the sort of person I admire - or actually a combination of people and ideas I admire. . Imagine you'd go in another country. Different everything: from food (like taste of milk) to time schedule of banks and supermarkets. And you do not do have a job, you're a student - meaning you have to learn, you have to adjust to a system. It is you making the effort towards it! So day by day you feel like deluting your essence: you do not have native friends, or family near you. How do you fight a system? Where are looking for? Values and beliefs are great, but my question is how do you inforce them in your every day life? What exactly from your past do you use? Which definig experience? Dyer, you said system of mirrors... Well, let'ssuppose you can't reflect in them. Or that you can but what you see straight, other see deformed... How do you get to create an harmonious image? Tips and trick... Link to post Share on other sites
amerikajin Posted May 30, 2004 Share Posted May 30, 2004 Values and beliefs are great, but my question is how do you inforce them in your every day life? What exactly from your past do you use? Which definig experience? You keep the values you believe in, and discard the ones you don't. Your value system may change over time based on your experiences. Link to post Share on other sites
Author CurlyIam Posted May 30, 2004 Author Share Posted May 30, 2004 My dilemma is not which values to keep and which to discart. It's the profound need to preserve my system of value. To evoid being swallowed and mellted. I though itwould be interresting to seehowother people do it: like if they turn to spititual beliefsorparents or childhood or friends. And more importantly how they see the reflection of them in those past experience.... like what does exacly incapsulate "you"... a secret little bottle one carries with himself and uses when in doubt! Like... what Proust describeb in "In search of lost time"... only used differently, oriented into oneself... Not very coherent today, sorry Link to post Share on other sites
amerikajin Posted May 30, 2004 Share Posted May 30, 2004 You preserve your system of values by living them every day. If you value honesty, be honest. If you value punctuality, be on time - every time. If you value the Holy Bible, read it and live according to its words. Call upon yourself, and when you doubt your own strength, go for strength in numbers (friends and family). Link to post Share on other sites
moimeme Posted May 30, 2004 Share Posted May 30, 2004 Imagine you'd go in another country. Different everything: from food (like taste of milk) to time schedule of banks and supermarkets. And you do not do have a job, you're a student - meaning you have to learn, you have to adjust to a system. So day by day you feel like deluting your essence: you do not have native friends, or family near you. How do you fight a system? I've moved provinces twice. Knew nobody, had no job in the new place both times. I don't get what you mean by 'deluting (sic) your essence'. Perhaps you are uncomfortable with all the unfamiliarity, but in my case, it means I was more in touch with 'who I am' rather than less so. Where nothing but oneself is familiar, it really affirms what self you may be. Having said that, it can be extremely freeing to be out of a rut. I once went away from my home town to attend a course elsewhere. I have been rather shy and reserved around people when I was young, but that wasn't my 'essence', if you will. When I went out of town, I realized that nobody in the new place had expectations of me - that there were no paramaters they expected me to have because nobody knew me. So I figured I'd give being sociable and outgoing a try. It was a total success. I had a lot of fun and made a friend I have to this day (this was some years ago). I loved it so much, I never went back to being a quiet little mouse. So, in fact, if you want to reinvent yourself to some extent and become more authentic, you can. Only you know your true feelings, self, and beliefs and so you are free, in a new place, to be more of them if you really want to. Where are looking for? Huh? Values and beliefs are great, but my question is how do you inforce them in your every day life? What exactly from your past do you use? Which definig experience? I'm with Amerikajin. I don't know what you mean by 'inforce' (sic). Do you mean 'enforce'? Even so, why would you 'enforce' them. It's the profound need to preserve my system of value. To evoid being swallowed and mellted. You can neither be 'swallowed' nor 'melted'. You may get shaken out of your old rut and find that you change some of your ideas or beliefs - this is not a bad thing. Our beliefs can be based on ignorance and may require change. We may discover new things we value as we get older and get different perspectives on how the world works. This means you are growing. Link to post Share on other sites
faux Posted May 30, 2004 Share Posted May 30, 2004 To be very honest, I am not certain how to go about answering these questions. I am whatever it is that I am, and I have never really wondered "who" I am before. I have many times, however, wondered how different I am from others, and if I think and feel in the same manner as those around me. Ever since I was a child I have wondered such things, and I am no closer to finding any satisfactory answer. Link to post Share on other sites
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