She did it AGAIN!! And here we go AGAIN! Merry-go-round. see this text..

[a_bit_lost]

Yeh i'm back after another round with her!

 

Ok, i wrote here a while back in the summer, for background, and yes, against what everyone said we got back together for a second time

 

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t289563/

 

Basically after the 6month'ish relationship post breakup (i'm pretty sure the breakup in the summer was because she was still very much into her ex bf of 5 years), she continued to text me every two weeks or so, sometimes more often, an odd call here and there etc, i was completely NC, as hard as it was! This went on for around 6/7 weeks. She would visit me whenever I dj'ed in the clubs etc, until one time she came in almost crying saying how much she did regret things. Etc etc. I still left it until I was literately bombarded with calls the following day/week and I broke NC to find out what was what, and the following things happened

 

• She begged with me to meet up with her - I met with her (secretly pleased that this was all going this way) and she explained that she was in a better place now, more secure, more stable and wants to get us back on track.
   
  
• I told her I needed time to think about things
   
  
• I went on holiday for a week, and when returned after a few little oddities we met again.
   
  
• Long long chats initiated by me in her company with her reassurance that she was in a much better place, her head was clear and everything else.
   
  
• I stated that we were back together and SERIOUSLY laid down rules, expectations and so on - as one would. She was ALL over me again, emails, calls, texts the lot.
   
  
• Things became good and to be honest, it was the best 8 weeks of our realtionship back on track - I took her away for a weekend, spoiled her, did the right things, treated her well, but still maintained a little kind of space and certainly didnt throw RIGHT back into it deeeeeply.
   
  
• The girl is an almighty flirt, more than i've ever seen, massively, even in front of my nose, very hard to deal with, she hyperactive a lot of the time, can act quite a depressant as well some of the time, but when things are good they're AMAZING. (BPD?!..)
   
  
• Things were a little hot and cold with us here and there, i maintained a strong proud position and didn't weaken.
   
  
• Then she went to a wedding party one night and the following day called me in tears effectively ending the relationship. (no invite for me I might add - rather suspicious whilst I did a little spying to find out who's wedding it was and it was a close friend of the 5year ex...)
  

 

This was now 4 weeks ago, AND SINCE her breaking up with me and me immediently going NC - YET AGAIN and doing the agreeing with the breakup etc etc, i've just had a text a week, a few emotional ones, a few thank you ones, a call and answer phone message (letting me know that she was doing great, and her job is good and blah blah - really random) AND then this last Saturday:

 

----

 

Why can I never seem to not contact you!!! And do u know what, I've done so much thinking, walking, going to the gym to clear my head and find me again, I've thought of ALL the things we used to do, all the chats, the playing around, everything we went through and taught each-other....how the hell can I not have u in my life!? I know it's normal to think and feel all these things. U are my best friend and I wish i could have u in my life, coz I hate u not in it at all! I have come to terms with that I got scared with loving you and Pete I do love you, love u so much! I will live with my decisions as at the time I thought it was right, I've never felt like that before It really scared me! Maybe that is what love does to some people and I certainly have not felt like that before so I did what I thought was right. I understand how u work after a break up and usually I do the same but I can't with u!! It's driving me mad Pete!! I no deep inside somewhere u must think of your girl too, even if it's only a Lil bit. I would like to think that u do, we had so much fun. Maybe one day I'll hear from you, maybe ur reply to this, I dnt no. I just had to say this, get it off my chest, as I speak what I feel and I'm a big softy (as u know) so i thought I would follow what i feel and reach out and let u no how I felt and just...have some peace of mind. And by all this I'm in NO way shape or form am I trying to make either of us feel worse, or make it harder or anything else like that. I think so so so dearly of u. I no we both can be happy in our lives, we are good ppl, hope life if well. Girl x

 

---

 

 

Please note, this happened last time round when she walked out and ended it, and continued lingering texts almost of a stringing like to them, to be honest there was no mention in it last time around of the whole love thing, this wasn't anything ever really said, this is what makes me wonder here!!

 

I've had nothing since last saturday when she sent this (1.5weeks ago), only a call from her at 5am the following morning. I have zero trust for this girl, but I have this almighty pull toward her, loved taking her under wing. Is this girl borderline personality disorder? God this text is playing on me massively and as the days pass it makes me want to break NC, please help...

[wilsonx]

You are never going to be able to compete with an ex of 5 years. I am going to tell you why.

 

#1 you set down boundaries at the very beginning. Shows you haven't let go

#2 you said you spoiled her, what did you spoil her with?

#3 you do not understand how to handle someone like her, you do not do it with boundaries, she's a hot person, she needs a mellow cool person to control the wild waves of her ocean, until you understand how to control yourself and ride within the wild waves of her ocean, you are never going to be able to survive. You sunk once and twice. You need to learn how to be a master ocean navigator, study take classes etc for yourself first. Once you figure this out, you will be able to handle whatever ocean you decide to sail upon

[a_bit_lost]

oh and just to add two other things:

 

• When we did get back together she gave me an STD?!!! Everyone told me to get rid of her, but of course i gave her the benefit of the doubt...
   
  
• And she has a rather promiscuous history, which includes cheating on her ex, multiple times..
  

 

Idiot perhaps I am - But i saw the good qualities, not only that you know how it is when you're so incredibly wrapped up in someone and certainly their beauty..

[davesterr]

this girl is a slut. she probably ****ed someone on the wedding night , decided to break up.

then realised it was just a one night stand and then came back crashing and sending that long ass text.

 

girls dont break up if they truely love you.

girls dont suddenly realise what they left untill they have been with worse.

the way she acts all flirty in front of ur face just shows shes a whore.

then again all women are so is this regular girl behavior?

unfortunately yes.

 

anyways thats my vibe on what i sense.

i may be completely wrong cuz i dunno either of u.

but if i were u either keep her as a friend with benefit.

or ditch the bitch all together.

she wont change.

 

ps: i replied with this to your first message only.

now that i see your second post , i am positive that my people reading skilz are right once again.

like i said , this girl is a whore and can't stay loyal.

up to you what you do with it.

just dont get attached.

Edited December 13, 2011 by davesterr

[wilsonx]

Davesterr

 

I have watched a few of your posts and I really do not agree with them including this one. You are quick to judge someone. Have you ever looked outside the box on this? Do you know what she's looking for? Because I do, I know exactly what she's looking for. She's a little girl looking for love and she hasnt found it. She's doing it the only way she knows how to. You want to know why she was with an ex for 5 years and him for months? Because her ex showed her love and shes looking over and over and over for it. She lost respect for her long time ex and thats why shes confused right now and does not know which path to take because he failed her tests. It doesnt make her less of a person or a monster, shes doing the only thing she knows how to

 

One of the things I am going to say is you write these great wordy posts that catch the eye on new comers here but you are quick to judge and are unable to look outside the box. If you want to know what love is and what compassion for another person is, put yourself in their shoes, not the posters shoes but his ex's shoes. Once you are able to do this free of judgement, you will see the world in a new light

Edited December 13, 2011 by wilsonx

[a_bit_lost]

thanks guys - I need this, so desperately. I'm on the cusp of going to therapy.

 

 

wilsonx, i was hoping you'd be here as you replied last time to me in the summer. I agree with you

 

#1 you set down boundaries at the very beginning. Shows you haven't let go

- Your 100% right. I guess I was trying to do the text book thing here.

 

#2 you said you spoiled her, what did you spoil her with?

- Total spontaneity, 5* hotel booked in the capital (500mile roundtrip), VIP tickets for a huge night at a club, VIP at glam bars, all the kind of things a LBD model type girl like this loves, and boy did she appreciate all this..

- I'm a hobbyiest pilot, I took her in a small jet numerious times, only the kind of things girls dream of surely.

- Took her out and about in my sports cars

- Left her at my house swimming poolside, whilst she sunned herself all day.

- And as materialistic as these things sound and hugely egotistical, I'm a decent guy, loving and caring and cuddly and have a caring family, and looking to spoil and love a woman as well, but not a pushover and make my views KNOWN when needed, proud and will stand up for my values with her and boy she knows it, i'm good looking and a club DJ and have a busy business lifestyle in the day.

 

Her ex... - A stoner, uneducated, that simply plays xbox and a manager of glam bar in the city, and apparently would beat her up as well.. (and although hes bigger in stature than me, i'm not a weedy guy im just off 6ft toned tanned blah this sounds awful, but certainly not the size of the ex)

 

 

Shes confused, absolutley and you're right.

 

 

davesterr - I agree, many many people tell me this mate, that shes a slut - SHE IS. She has a known history of cheating and the flirting isn't a normal style mate, it properly touchy feely!...

She may WELL have indeed cheated that night, that was my instant thought as well... I know its in her system not to say no, and you're right, she won't change.

 

The problem is, i am indeed attached and its killing me to know what to do - A THIRD TIME?! This is 12months of ON/OFF with this girl... She flips between this loving little caring cuddly thing, to this tall cindy crawford 6inch stilletto model at the click of her fingers with the lifestyle to boot.

Edited December 13, 2011 by a_bit_lost

[M2155]

Regardless of what type of person she is, it sounds like you already know the right thing to do here. You know she's got you by the string, you don't trust her, and you already have proof that a long-term relationship isn't going to work. Her text doesn't even sound like "I'm ready to do what it takes to be together" it sounds like "forgive me, I messed up, I need to know I still have you around cause I don't have anywhere better to go,"...whatever it takes to get a response out of you. It's the most frustrating thing in the world as a woman not to get a response and you will say whatever it takes!

 

Be strong and do what is best for you. I know it is sooo hard to walk away but I couln't handle someone who popped in and out of my life for years. If you think you are going crazy now...

[a_bit_lost]

Regardless of what type of person she is, it sounds like you already know the right thing to do here. You know she's got you by the string, you don't trust her, and you already have proof that a long-term relationship isn't going to work. Her text doesn't even sound like "I'm ready to do what it takes to be together" it sounds like "forgive me, I messed up, I need to know I still have you around cause I don't have anywhere better to go,"...whatever it takes to get a response out of you. It's the most frustrating thing in the world as a woman not to get a response and you will say whatever it takes!

 

Be strong and do what is best for you. I know it is sooo hard to walk away but I couln't handle someone who popped in and out of my life for years. If you think you are going crazy now...

 

 

Thanks M2155 - Yes perhaps your analysis on that text is just that... I had similar things last time round with her until i answered her persistent calls and it became obvious she wanted to get back, so I know how she works to a degree. This NC **** is driving me insane, certainly since getting this, its all I can think about. The best 8 weeks together to then get ditched again. Strange thing is that she was all talk and talk about yes I want to do this with you, right and blah blah and then this.

[smokey bear]

Thanks M2155 - Yes perhaps your analysis on that text is just that... I had similar things last time round with her until i answered her persistent calls and it became obvious she wanted to get back, so I know how she works to a degree. This NC **** is driving me insane, certainly since getting this, its all I can think about. The best 8 weeks together to then get ditched again. Strange thing is that she was all talk and talk about yes I want to do this with you, right and blah blah and then this.

 

 

Interesting, do you know anything about the ex breakup, did she leave him or did he leave her, how long were they split before you met.

 

ok i think your either a rebound or a gigs guy, thats the thing though with you, the grass is greener, same with me, my grass was greener, doesnt matter, i think love isnt a factor, i think she loves the life you can give her, but not you as a person, harsh i know, sorry.

 

She doesnt mention anything about getting back together and i dont think she will, i think she wnts friendship and that lifestyle as a friend.

 

I honestly believe rebounds/gigs guys(there all the same) dont get the girl in the end.

 

That feeling she's talking about is infatuation, its not real love and it never will form to the love you want, call me crazy but there's something scientific about it.

 

She is not a whore, wilson is correct, she's missing that love from the ex so is trying to chase that feeling, she associates it with sex, she will learn quickly this lesson, but will never need to learn it again, but she has to learn it somehow, through actions.

 

She is just lost and the only solution is to stay single and heal.

 

 

As for the OP, You know what you have to do, let this loose cannon go and when she calms down have faith in how well you treated her and she might bounce back, i hope though that by then you have met a lovely girl and dont consider it

[Jono85]

Regardless of what type of person she is, it sounds like you already know the right thing to do here. You know she's got you by the string, you don't trust her, and you already have proof that a long-term relationship isn't going to work. Her text doesn't even sound like "I'm ready to do what it takes to be together" it sounds like "forgive me, I messed up, I need to know I still have you around cause I don't have anywhere better to go,"...whatever it takes to get a response out of you. It's the most frustrating thing in the world as a woman not to get a response and you will say whatever it takes!

 

Be strong and do what is best for you. I know it is sooo hard to walk away but I couln't handle someone who popped in and out of my life for years. If you think you are going crazy now...

 

 

Agreed with all of that.

 

Her email to you says nothing to me that she really knows what she wants. She just cares for you, and can't picture you not in her life. That's all fine and dandy, but that could also mean she wants the freedom of finding the one for her (maybe it's her ex, maybe it's someone else, maybe it's you..) but she wants you to be there for her when she needs the attention and love. She knows you spoil her and you're sooo good to her. Why would she want to lose that?? It doesn't mean she's in love with you, or she wants you and only you.

 

I also think you know what to do here. Whether you're strong enough is a different question.

[smokey bear]

Thanks M2155 - Yes perhaps your analysis on that text is just that... I had similar things last time round with her until i answered her persistent calls and it became obvious she wanted to get back, so I know how she works to a degree. This NC **** is driving me insane, certainly since getting this, its all I can think about. The best 8 weeks together to then get ditched again. Strange thing is that she was all talk and talk about yes I want to do this with you, right and blah blah and then this.

 

 

Interesting, do you know anything about the ex breakup, did she leave him or did he leave her, how long were they split before you met.

 

ok i think your either a rebound or a gigs guy, thats the thing though with you, the grass is greener, same with me, my grass was greener, doesnt matter, i think love isnt a factor, i think she loves the life you can give her, but not you as a person, harsh i know, sorry.

 

She doesnt mention anything about getting back together and i dont think she will, i think she wnts friendship and that lifestyle as a friend.

 

I honestly believe rebounds/gigs guys(there all the same) dont get the girl in the end.

 

That feeling she's talking about is infatuation, its not real love and it never will form to the love you want, call me crazy but there's something scientific about it.

 

She is not a whore, wilson is correct, she's missing that love from the ex so is trying to chase that feeling, she associates it with sex, she will learn quickly this lesson, but will never need to learn it again, but she has to learn it somehow, through actions.

 

She is just lost and the only solution is to stay single and heal.

 

 

As for the OP, You know what you have to do, let this loose cannon go and when she calms down have faith in how well you treated her and she might bounce back, i hope though that by then you have met a lovely girl and dont consider it

[Chi townD]

She desperately wants you in the "friend zone". Don't do it. She dumped you, she made a choice to have you out of her life, and you give her exactly that!. She fired you! Now, when you get fired from a job, do you go back and just hang around the water cooler? NO! You go out and get another job!

[davesterr]

Davesterr

 

I have watched a few of your posts and I really do not agree with them including this one. You are quick to judge someone. Have you ever looked outside the box on this? Do you know what she's looking for? Because I do, I know exactly what she's looking for. She's a little girl looking for love and she hasnt found it. She's doing it the only way she knows how to. You want to know why she was with an ex for 5 years and him for months? Because her ex showed her love and shes looking over and over and over for it. She lost respect for her long time ex and thats why shes confused right now and does not know which path to take because he failed her tests. It doesnt make her less of a person or a monster, shes doing the only thing she knows how to

 

One of the things I am going to say is you write these great wordy posts that catch the eye on new comers here but you are quick to judge and are unable to look outside the box. If you want to know what love is and what compassion for another person is, put yourself in their shoes, not the posters shoes but his ex's shoes. Once you are able to do this free of judgement, you will see the world in a new light

 

Ok i will give you that i am quick to judge on this particular post.

And you may be right that she is looking for love.

She has been with her ex for 5 years.

Do we know how well that relationship went?

Do we know whether she stayed loyal to him?

Do we know how much love they shared together?

No.

 

But let's say you are right and she is looking for love.

Do you really think she flirting with others while being with the topic starter is a good thing to do?

I understand that she wants to be loved.

But isn't that something you are supposed to do when you are single?

 

You can blame the topic starter for not being ''good enough''

You can blame him for failing her tests , and not measuring up to her ex.

But who are you to judge? Who am i to judge?

There are always 2 sides because there are 2 people involved.

We simply know none of the truth because we can simply share our opinion and advice based on the story that we read.

 

Maybe i'm wrong , but you can't tell me flirting with others while in a relationship is a good thing to do.

And when a girl suddenly breaks up with you after going to a wedding party , and then suddenly send a huge text back the next day about how much she ''loves him'' doesn't show me that she means any of it.

Because if she really does truely love him then why would she break up with him?

It is women like her that makes dating impossible.

Because instead of working things out or handling the problems at hand , she simply breaks up.

 

Now i am not defending the topic starter , i am simply stating that if his ex loved him like she said in the text she sent him , then she wouldn't have dumped him again.

Maybe she loves him as a friend , or as the person that he is.

But not as the boyfriend she wants to stay forever with.

 

All the signs that i read from his story about the flirting etc shows that she is the type of girl that likes to whore around.

You might call it ''finding love without knowing the right way to do it''

I call it whoring around because that's what it is when you flirt with others when your not single and sleeping with alot of men.

Topic starter himself even said she was like this and comfirmed my post when i didn't even know his side of the story.

I simply got that vibe from reading how she acts.

Again without getting personal , it seems that i was on point.

 

In the end none of my advice have to be taken.

And i don't make lenghty posts to make them attractive.

I make them because i care.

I got better things to do than to spend 40 minutes replying to someone i don't know.

Yet i feel that analizing and breaking a story and then individually give advice on all topics works better than simply saying what everyone else says with a short reply.

 

Like i said in this case though: You call it ''finding love''

I call it whoring around.

Does either of us know the truth?

No.

My advice is free , take it or leave it.

Maybe you're right , maybe she does want love.

But i think that's something you should look for when you're single.

When you're in a relationship , don't flirt with others.

If you do , then you're a slut in my eyes.

Inside the box or outside the box.

It's how i see things and nothing more because i believe in something called staying loyal to who you are dating.

 

Ps: ''Her ex... - A stoner, uneducated, that simply plays xbox and a manager of glam bar in the city, and apparently would beat her up as well..''

Sure doesn't look to me that her ex gave this guys ex all the love she wanted.

Unless she's into SM i don't think beating her up is a showing of love.

Then again you have your view , i have mine.

Like i said neither of us know the whole story , yet you act like you do and feel good enough to judge me wrong.

Edited December 13, 2011 by davesterr

[a_bit_lost]

Ouch.. Some of these things have come as a bit of a sting but in fairness this is once again over so what should i expect.

 

@smokey bear

Yes, she left her long term ex bf (whom she wasn't getting along with) for me (so she said).. She had already become massively infatuated with me whilst I was dj'ing at that bar at weekends (the one the ex runs). So much so I wasn't massively interested but she pushed and pushed, we did *things* before she'd even really broken it off with her ex of 5years.

 

And as both @smokey bear and @Jono85 I did treat her well, so much so i've been approached by a friend of hers recently that confirmed that all she talked about a while back is how I got her back on track, how I managed to get her straight and that I was a huge influence and she got a job by my motivation and stuff, that I was indeed good for her..

 

BUT SHE DID COME BACK, this is the thing, she left in summer once she was strong and had things going on THEN she came with exactly that she did bounce back "that I did indeed treat her well, and she couldnt do it without me blah blah" 8 weeks after we broke up and we got back together again a few months ago (i mean i studied all the no contact stuff and did it all textbook and she did indeed come back) BUT THEN she left again after 8 weeks of even better stuff?! I walked past her at distance a few days ago in town while i was suited up as she works in there, kinda on purpose to provoke a reaction, she was white like she'd seen a ghost and had a face like she was sad, down and depressed - walking past her certainly didn't help me, nor has it resulted in anymore communication.

 

I simply couldn't tame her, she is indeed a partygirl 50% of the time.

[wilsonx]

 

#2 you said you spoiled her, what did you spoil her with?

- Total spontaneity, 5* hotel booked in the capital (500mile roundtrip), VIP tickets for a huge night at a club, VIP at glam bars, all the kind of things a LBD model type girl like this loves, and boy did she appreciate all this..

- I'm a hobbyiest pilot, I took her in a small jet numerious times, only the kind of things girls dream of surely.

- Took her out and about in my sports cars

- Left her at my house swimming poolside, whilst she sunned herself all day.

- And as materialistic as these things sound and hugely egotistical, I'm a decent guy, loving and caring and cuddly and have a caring family, and looking to spoil and love a woman as well, but not a pushover and make my views KNOWN when needed, proud and will stand up for my values with her and boy she knows it, i'm good looking and a club DJ and have a busy business lifestyle in the day.

 

Her ex... - A stoner, uneducated, that simply plays xbox and a manager of glam bar in the city, and apparently would beat her up as well.. (and although hes bigger in stature than me, i'm not a weedy guy im just off 6ft toned tanned blah this sounds awful, but certainly not the size of the ex)

 

 

Shes confused, absolutley and you're right.

 

 

 

I knew your #2 was coming like it was... Guess what women dont want this just fyi... this is just an added bonus... You want to know why shes about her stoner ex bf... because he shows her love....

 

He's not afraid to look into her eyes and smile when she throws a temper-tantrum, lick her in the side of the face when she gets mad, he doesnt try to calm her down, he listens to her feelings, thats why he has a 5 year history with her. He lost himself here and there and thats why she keeps jumping ship and running back. Thats what happened with my ex and me. You can choose whether this is something you want to continuously do or find a calmer ocean to ride on

 

@Davester, it doesn't matter because I am right on this topic. It is what it is, typical captain save a hoe thread and these are my specialties.

 

One of the things you need to learn a_bit_lost is you. You need to find you and your core purpose in life and then go after it. Nothing else matters. Stay away from the drama of these types of people unless you know how to navigate that ship. Does this breakup hurt, absolutely. Instead of walling yourself off from the pain, use the pain to make yourself grow as a person. Live with it and feel it everyday as a reminder that you are alive and feeling. Use it!

[davesterr]

You want to know why shes about her stoner ex bf... because he shows her love....

 

He's not afraid to look into her eyes and smile when she throws a temper-tantrum, lick her in the side of the face when she gets mad, he doesnt try to calm her down, he listens to her feelings, thats why he has a 5 year history with her. He lost himself here and there and thats why she keeps jumping ship and running back. Thats what happened with my ex and me. You can choose whether this is something you want to continuously do or find a calmer ocean to ride on

 

@Davester, it doesn't matter because I am right on this topic.

 

Just because you see similarities in your old relationsip doesn't mean this one is exactly the same.

How do you even know what her ex did to her?

You are simply assuming stuff based from your own experiances.

You think you're right when you have no guarantee of the truth.

You tell me i can't think outside the box yet you're thinking you're right simply because you're still living inside your own box comparing your old relationship exactly to this one.

 

When one person is so sure he is right , then ofcourse he will be blind to everything else.

I on the other hand aren't picking either sides and aren't comparing my old relationships to this one.

Because every relationship is different.

Think you are right? Goodjob , go give yourself a gold star.

The fact that topic starter already agreed with me is enough for me to know i was on spot.

Then again i don't give a crap about being right or wrong.

I'm not on here to boost my ego like it's a gameshow with questions.

I am simply here to help.

The fact that you are comparing this relationship exactly to your old one without knowing any history or facts or the couple yourself is showing where you lack credibility.

Then again i really don't care what you think.

I am only here to help the topic starter and not to tell others they are wong without having any proof myself , unlike what you do.

[a_bit_lost]

you guys are both right i think..

 

@davesterr

 

Ok i will give you that i am quick to judge on this particular post.

And you may be right that she is looking for love.

She has been with her ex for 5 years.

Do we know how well that relationship went?

Do we know whether she stayed loyal to him?

Do we know how much love they shared together?

 

She had cheated on that ex numerous times! I found out because I was involved with her once he had started to find out all the in's and out's post their breakup, I was there with her whilst she was shouting down the phone saying she hadn't slept with them... I was sitting right there listening and she had indeed slept with me - whilst the ex bf shouts down the phone how much of a cnut she is (the kind of language i would never say to her)... The woman is definitely a compulsive liar, in a aid to help her get respect (shes not exactly massively educated, she purely got her looks to get her where she wants) She wants a man I guess to shout at her!

 

She is indeed a huge flirt - Other people have come to me telling me how much of an attention whore she really is and other stories I've heard about her having limited morals.

 

And she did unacceptable things whilst I was with her, she is a partygirl.. to which i gave the benefit of the doubt.

 

@wilsonx

 

yeh... i am captain save a hoe here, she was infactuated with me i was her knight - she left, i knew she'd come back.. She indeed did, but indeed she left again (and as wary and that I was knowing that it would happen again, i probably wasn't set for it)

 

Question is will her weekly texts/calls stop, will she see the light, will she change and calm it like she is that 30% of the time whens she great...

 

Shes smoking hot - an amateur model. Nothing more I could have done, tried my bloody best to keep this woman happy and give her all myself.

[smokey bear]

I knew your #2 was coming like it was... Guess what women dont want this just fyi... this is just an added bonus... You want to know why shes about her stoner ex bf... because he shows her love....

 

He's not afraid to look into her eyes and smile when she throws a temper-tantrum, lick her in the side of the face when she gets mad, he doesnt try to calm her down, he listens to her feelings, thats why he has a 5 year history with her. He lost himself here and there and thats why she keeps jumping ship and running back. Thats what happened with my ex and me. You can choose whether this is something you want to continuously do or find a calmer ocean to ride on

 

@Davester, it doesn't matter because I am right on this topic. It is what it is, typical captain save a hoe thread and these are my specialties.

 

One of the things you need to learn a_bit_lost is you. You need to find you and your core purpose in life and then go after it. Nothing else matters. Stay away from the drama of these types of people unless you know how to navigate that ship. Does this breakup hurt, absolutely. Instead of walling yourself off from the pain, use the pain to make yourself grow as a person. Live with it and feel it everyday as a reminder that you are alive and feeling. Use it!

 

 

 

Wilson this example was exactly what i was talking about today.

 

It seems the op's ex has a case of gigs, only the op is the gigs guy, ive said before that yes sometimes the grass can be greener, my grass was greener, it doesnt matter, it works the same way as a rebound and true feelings can not be formed.

 

She forced it and seemed head over heels, a transfer of feelings from the old to the new.

 

Can i ask a question, one for my investigation OP, do you feel that your ex could openly talk to you about anything and showed who she really is with you, really opened up like she did to no other?

 

Also did she mention her faults in the past relationship and make efforts to fix these faults in your relationship.

 

I can also guess that she started to reach out at the start of 4 months post break up.

 

By any chance on the second chance relationship was she looking for fun? Not such a relationship but fun?

 

Did you feel used second time round compared to feeling loved the first time?

[wilsonx]

davester,

 

whats funny is you are so self centered, you do not have the ability to see outside the box. you write these long rambly responses that are just nonsense to justify what you mean. its like your hiding behind something.

 

as for my credibility, my posts are my credibility. ive had vast amounts of interpersonal encounters, my intuition on people is usually spot on bro. Ive been wrong here and there and I will admit it but this is a thread I am right on.

 

called him captain save a hoe, he admitted it, game over

 

now its the moving forward part and a_bit_lost you have to let it go. you will find other hot beautiful women out there that are emotionally stable, just use what you learned this time around and not make the same mistakes again.

[davesterr]

I am willing to put all the bullshiit on this topic aside about who's right or wrong.

Because unlike wilsonx , i only care about helping and not about being right.

 

All i can say is: Don't get attached.

Whether she comes back or not.

I myself wouldn't let a model pass me by.

Then again if she makes you mentally unstable and unable to live your life then it might be too hard to stay friends with benefits.

 

Either way i wouldn't try to change her cause people like that don't change.

Then again you are free to do whatever you want with your life ofcourse.

Just giving you my insights.

Whether wilsonx agrees with me or not lol.

 

Oh and to wilsonx: People say they love my advice and even bookmark it.

So far you're the only one who disagrees so i don't care if you call them nonsense , it works for the people that i give them to.

 

Yes this guy is a captain save a hoe , did i ever say he wasn't?

I said this girl is a slut and he admitted it.

Game over aswel.

 

In the end we are both right , but where you go wrong is how you compare her old relationship to your own when you have no proof of what they did , how they felt or how things went whatsoeever.

No proof at all.

You simply think it was a copy of your old relationship.

You have no idea what the guy is like or how he thinks or how he acts.

And you have no idea what the girl likes about him.

Yet you claim like you know it.

That's just stupid.

 

But like i said , we were both right in our cases.

Yet you feel the urge to say i am wrong , and call my advice nonsense when people on here agree with me alot.

Then again im not here to make you like me.

So in the end , who gives a shiit?

Edited December 13, 2011 by davesterr

[smokey bear]

davester,

 

whats funny is you are so self centered, you do not have the ability to see outside the box. you write these long rambly responses that are just nonsense to justify what you mean. its like your hiding behind something.

 

as for my credibility, my posts are my credibility. ive had vast amounts of interpersonal encounters, my intuition on people is usually spot on bro. Ive been wrong here and there and I will admit it but this is a thread I am right on.

 

called him captain save a hoe, he admitted it, game over

 

now its the moving forward part and a_bit_lost you have to let it go. you will find other hot beautiful women out there that are emotionally stable, just use what you learned this time around and not make the same mistakes again.

 

 

 

Ahhhh another clue to this puzzle i feel i need to prod and poke

 

 

 

@ wilson....

 

 

How would you rate your ex

 

a)not too good looking

b) average

c)better than average

d)smoking hot.

 

Next how would you rate yourself, be honest not modest becuse everyone can read this post lol, screw them.

 

 

Now @ a bit lost.....

 

How would you rate yourself. sorry its a bad question to ask on here but ill explain why if you would be so kind to answer.

 

 

Back at Wilson, if you beat me to the gigs break up book, i want half the commision lol.

[wilsonx]

My most recent ex...

average....

 

my friends rate her the same

 

----------------------

me better then average

[smokey bear]

I am willing to put all the bullshiit on this topic aside about who's right or wrong.

Because unlike wilsonx , i only care about helping and not about being right.

 

All i can say is: Don't get attached.

Whether she comes back or not.

I myself wouldn't let a model pass me by.

Then again if she makes you mentally unstable and unable to live your life then it might be too hard to stay friends with benefits.

 

Either way i wouldn't try to change her cause people like that don't change.

Then again you are free to do whatever you want with your life ofcourse.

Just giving you my insights.

Whether wilsonx agrees with me or not lol.

 

Oh and to wilsonx: People say they love my advice and even bookmark it.

So far you're the only one who disagrees so i don't care if you call them nonsense , it works for the people that i give them to.

 

Yes this guy is a captain save a hoe , did i ever say he wasn't?

I said this girl is a slut and he admitted it.

Game over aswel.

 

In the end we are both right , but where you go wrong is how you compare her old relationship to your own when you have no proof of what they did , how they felt or how things went whatsoeever.

No proof at all.

You simply think it was a copy of your old relationship.

You have no idea what the guy is like or how he thinks or how he acts.

And you have no idea what the girl likes about him.

Yet you claim like you know it.

That's just stupid.

 

But like i said , we were both right in our cases.

Yet you feel the urge to say i am wrong , and call my advice nonsense when people on here agree with me alot.

Then again im not here to make you like me.

So in the end , who gives a shiit?

 

 

 

I DISAGREE TOOOOOOO!

 

Your full of ****, and im purposely saying that to enduce one of your self defence rants.

 

Your too emotionally involved in your own situation that your applying it to these boards as you would your own situation.

 

Your not looking at it from an outsiders point of view.

 

There are 3 types of people on here

 

One's who are jaded and will never forget or forgive an ex.

 

One's who are just absorbed in their heart break that its all they can see.

 

Then there are the few who are trying to figure it all out for future reference and to make strong relationships in the future, researching solutions to problems that may occur in the future, Luckily i have noticed in the last few days more and more people are jumping on this bandwagon.

 

 

It seems that times are changing and going nc, healing and moving on are no longer the written word,

 

nc, healing and understanding what happened seems to be the way forward and im glad im being a part of it.

 

We shape our society, our society today is that it is so easy to just leave your relationship, if my posts on this one little board can help move society forward to not bail out and try and understand and that moves onto the next generation, then one day we may get back to the days where a commitment meant something.....

 

 

 

Oh there's my save the world speach.

 

But back to the point, dave you can continue to be single minded or you can take yourself out the box and look at it all different, how you see it is up to you, if you even do it is up to you.

 

I remember a day when Wilson sounded very similar, now he's a breath of fresh ir, such a strong head and i hope i had something to do with it and one day he'll tell me if i did or not, because im egocentric and need my ego stroked sometimes since my damm ex aint doing it. If not, then suck lemons wilsons.......

[davesterr]

Rofl smokey , coming from you who take basic advice personal and then went on ranting to multiple people about how we ''can't bring you down'' when all we did was look out after you.

 

Then you make 5 topics stating how happy you are , how the old smokey bear is back and then make more posts about the same topic.

No one likes you here , multiple people even tell you to grow up for how you treated your ex and how you are now crying about not being with him.

 

And the funniest thing of all?

You keep saying how you are doing amazing and how no one can bring you down yet a few days after you are back crying on the forum about how you feel bad.

 

Like many of us have said before: Grow up.

It's people like you who take this forum personal instead of seeing it as a place where people help eachother that ruin it.

Im not here to be right , im not here to ''bring you down'' as you felt personally attacked by me and everyone else that warned you about moodswings to which we were right because you posting about it proved this.

I am simply here to help.

If you or wilsonx don't like it , then good for you.

Fortunately for those who i do help all appreciate it alot and that's the only reason i do it for.

Edited December 13, 2011 by davesterr

[Jono85]

dave seems like the mature one in this thread. and not pretending like his advice is gospel.

 

 

wilsonx comes off like a giant a**hole here. i get that everyone praises him it seems, and i'm not denying whether his advice hasn't helped ppl...but get off ur high horse sir. dave's right, u don't know the exact situation, yet u seem to think it directly relates to an old relationship of yours.

 

i mean giving advice is one thing, but claiming you're right and someone else is wrong is a little immature. especially when the OP backed up claims that daves advice and stance was indeed right. actually, wilsonx YOU also backed up daves point by saying "captain save a hoe". wasn't that daves point?? that she was a hoe?? lol

 

 

smokey not sure why you're jumping on dave...he didn't attack anyone, wilson did.

 

 

my .02.