She did it AGAIN!! And here we go AGAIN! Merry-go-round. see this text..

[EgoJoe]

 

i've already thought that and looked at this from every angle but when

i got back involved with her i thought at some point i'm gunna have to get

involved involved with her as this cannot just be a game, so despite my guard

and wall she clearly saw past that and knew i was in hook line and sinker yet

again and yeh didnt want me. In my mindset all I can think of right now is

seeing her and talking to her and trying to plan how to do that, my councilling

finishes at 630 and im tempted to just goto her flat after that when shes

finished work - im f***ed

 

I truly believe that this is a bad idea. She does not want to talk to you. She is Chinatown.

[a_bit_lost]

she is the drug to me - i am addicted. i sweat at night, i cant sleep, panic attacks. i seek a fix. im planning my next fix - i need help

[a_bit_lost]

cant do this. feel like im gunna end something. im not calling out for crying sake. enter my mind. im willing to give anythign up to make this work, everything out the window to get to her, like things were only last week, ive hit the bottom

[EgoJoe]

This is rejection and your Ego is going HOG WILD on you. He is not you. You are the Master of the vessel that is your body.

 

There are times when it is conceivable and healthy to give in to him. This is not one of those times.

 

HEAD HELD HIGH, EYES ON THE PRIZE AND MOVE FORWARD!

[Thatguyintx]

cant do this. feel like im gunna end something. im not calling out for crying sake. enter my mind. im willing to give anythign up to make this work, everything out the window to get to her, like things were only last week, ive hit the bottom

 

You really sound beyond the help this forum can offer. You have got to find some professional help NOW.

 

We all feel your pain, but we can't walk your walk. People are telling you what to do and you are acting as if you can't do it. GET HELP!

[a_bit_lost]

Flurocent - please help me not do the "wrong doing the in the aftermath of a relationship."

 

Bottom line is in previous times i've gone no contact immediently with her. She ACTUALLY initiated this in a text, i dont know how truthful she is in that... I can only assume she really wants this finally over which f*****ing kills me. and yes ego and everything comes to play, im a wreck, i want to get in bed and sleep for years and not face this.

[a_bit_lost]

ive just done no contact in previous times with her... and she come back begging every time! now shes asked for no contact in a text. is that really it?! i mean every time prior we've split up shes come back. i went contact. the difference this time shes asked for it in a text so that we can both move on, she says she wont answer if i call, she says not for me to come see her, she says she doesnt want for me not to call but it has to be the case.

[a_bit_lost]

this is why i just want to go see her after my councilling at 630 when shes done from work. i know where i can meet her. i know how i can see her and potentially talk to her - just to try and sort this

[Thatguyintx]

this is why i just want to go see her after my councilling at 630 when shes done from work. i know where i can meet her. i know how i can see her and potentially talk to her - just to try and sort this

 

I highly recommend you dont go see her. You aren't going to get the answers you are looking for right now. It sucks, I've been there. You need to get some time and distance between you and her. I'm sorry.

[a_bit_lost]

i hear you.

 

thats what ive done before and shes come back.

 

realisticly i know that cannot happen again, but a force inside me MUST/WANTS/NEEDS to go and see this time and try.

 

but i hear you

[a_bit_lost]

Fluorescent - thanks. Social network links first time round mid-last year and i havent resurrected those. I've deleted her number, but I know how to get it back and have done.

 

"It sounds like she might have reached that point"

 

Thats what scares me this time, i agree to be honest. I dont want to say it but i agree.

 

My mum and dad are at the end of their string with me, they cannot trust anything she says, she lied to them to grandeur her life - so they tell me the same.

 

Thats why I dont know how final this is.

 

I mean f**** it... This has to end.

 

I am a man on the verge of self destruction. Seriously yes. I am. All the things i've worked for and successes i've worked for, i dont care about anything else but this and to sort it.

 

Christ at the weekend when everyhting was ok, she sat there and said to me 'why on earth do you like me/love me/want me so much - i cant see it she said, she couldnt see why apparently 'someone' like me would like her and want to be with her'

 

this is why i think we should be fighting for this.

 

ahhh im ranting, im at the bottom

[a_bit_lost]

the 6 weeks together were hard for me, given she had dropped me twice i did have a serious underlying issue with her that would crop up here and there, and she knew that, i had put a timeframe on this new episode when she continued to talk about the future cos i just couldnt see it after she dropped me twice last year. so in that sense i informed her that it would be hard winning my trust and she was 'happy' to do that, until various arguments and she said 'i didnt think it would be like this'. so she obv had reservations, but i couldnt act any differently esp after she just dropped me twice last year, it was hard and i wanted to get past that, if she really wanted us that bad i feel she should have continued her quest with me as it was working to a degree! we had god damn good times.

[stillafool]

oh and just to add two other things:

 

• When we did get back together she gave me an STD?!!! Everyone told me to get rid of her, but of course i gave her the benefit of the doubt...
   
  
• And she has a rather promiscuous history, which includes cheating on her ex, multiple times..
  

Idiot perhaps I am - But i saw the good qualities, not only that you know how it is when you're so incredibly wrapped up in someone and certainly their beauty..

 

So why did you want this skank back? I don't understand why men tell women on LS to stop going after the bad guys when men do the same thing - chase the bad girls. I hope you have learned your lesson this time and are done with her for good

[a_bit_lost]

that was last time round!

 

this here now is a whole new episode just ended! and yes, why do i want this skank back?! i just dont f***ing know, i cant see clearly at all, and havent been able to for over 12mths! theres just something about her

[Pens55]

Christ at the weekend when everyhting was ok, she sat there and said to me 'why on earth do you like me/love me/want me so much - i cant see it she said, she couldnt see why apparently 'someone' like me would like her and want to be with her'

 

this is why i think we should be fighting for this.

 

ahhh im ranting, im at the bottom

 

Believe me, this is a huge red flag. Very low self esteem for one reason or another and it shows that this girl cannot trust the love you have/had for her because she is unable to love herself.

 

I dont have the best self-esteem, but if someone shows me they care, I believe it. You ex (and my ex) does not seem to have the ability to accept that someone can care for her so deeply. On the surface, we think we can fix it, or change their mind, but in reality, this could be a really deep rabbit hole that you may not want to go down. These thoughts/statements can really be a symptom of much deeper emotional issues and they can tear your life apart.

[a_bit_lost]

I agree. It's obvious she doesn't have the self love you say, as much as she says she does.. It's obvious cos she'd rather do modelling type pictures over this?!

 

I'm totally totally lost over this, trying to find activities to do just to get through the time, its horrendous?!?!?!?! HELP.

 

The last 2 nights have been ok and I can goto sleep fine'ish. But I wake up in the night sweating dreaming panicking and this sets the scene for the day.

 

 

My therapist talked me out of going to her place uninvited the other night.

 

I've composed an email to send to her mum, I haven't sent it, I really want to just to explain my hurt over this and the reasons. Her mum lives far away, but the mother always loved me, I think she knew that I would treat her daughter right as opposed to the other jerks she's been with.

 

Am I clutching at straws here? I also know she's working in the shop Sunday do I could see her.

 

As the above post said, she cannot believe I love her - should I do more to prove it?! All this is fine I guess but I still don't think half nude modelling is ok?!

[jus d'orange]

As the above post said, she cannot believe I love her - should I do more to prove it?!!

 

At this point, the most mature and loving thing you could do for everyone involved would be to resist all urges to go and see her or to contact her NO MATTER WHAT. Both of you have issues that need to be worked out by yourselves. At this point, you're only harming each other.

 

Maybe someday, if this girl figures out her issues, she'd be able to have a healthy relationship with someone. Right now, she cannot. I don't think you can either.

 

You need to keep going to therapy and cut this girl from your life and move on. If you want to prove your love and maturity, do that. Clinging to someone isn't love, it's selfishness and desperation.

[a_bit_lost]

i think my initial panic has gone a FRACTION since last week, although I feel its only suppressed a tiny bit. I still have an overwealming urge to contact or drive past her place. But its not like week where I felt utterly helpless.

 

I am constantly checking my mobile phone which is horrendous as obviously there's nothing there.

 

I have composed a long message for her mum, her mother and family loved me - they told her 'not to let me go' in the past. I haven't sent it and I am very in two minds about doing it but i will ask my Therapist tomorrow night what she thinks about it, i'd like to post the message on here I think, but im not sure.

 

Yesterday I felt cr*p and I simply cannot see past this, cannot see the other side.

 

But ULTIMATELY this girl treated me like UTTER sh*t and didn't take into account any of my feelings or what she causes. This decision she made to do this new whim was more important that the relationship she cried and cried and fought for... work that one out.

[broken-and-lost]

davester,

 

whats funny is you are so self centered, you do not have the ability to see outside the box. you write these long rambly responses that are just nonsense to justify what you mean. its like your hiding behind something.

 

as for my credibility, my posts are my credibility. ive had vast amounts of interpersonal encounters, my intuition on people is usually spot on bro. Ive been wrong here and there and I will admit it but this is a thread I am right on.

 

called him captain save a hoe, he admitted it, game over

 

now its the moving forward part and a_bit_lost you have to let it go. you will find other hot beautiful women out there that are emotionally stable, just use what you learned this time around and not make the same mistakes again.

 

To be honest i don't think he is Captain save a hoe, it's more smoking hot chick to add to my smoking hot life style suit the car pool and house it's just something else to add and the fact she's not playing ball 100% is what's making him wonder why she is acting this way and it's falling head over heals and join the dream life if she wasn't pretty and looked good would you cut her so much slack???????

 

So OP ask yourself are you in love with this girl or is it yet another tick to that box you've set yourself? what makes her so special to you.........could it be model hot perfect looks looks great in a sports car ???

 

I've done similar in my love and confused it with love when really i was looking to tick another box in what society has taught me is the dream life style.

[a_bit_lost]

broken lost -

 

Yes indeed I do want a very good looking woman, I don't necessarily think that's to compliment other things in my life. I spent more time at my folks place than I do at mine as its more comfortable. I do indeed want to be in love and have it fully reciprocated by the other, and I do want my GF to be drop dead gorgeous. However, funny really - I appreciated her more in her slacks and looking casual than all glam'ed up...

 

So i disagree - maybe deep down in my core I loved the fact that a good looking woman showeddddd sooooo much interest in me, it was her that came onto me like a ton of bricks and it was that that made me go wow - ultimately over the course of however long I got deeply emotionally involved with her

[a_bit_lost]

"if she wasn't pretty and looked good would you cut her so much slack???????"

 

in truth.. no i wouldnt, its hard to think outside of this box now, so i'll compare her in my mind to another EX GF whom I no longer care about AT ALL and think of her in the same light as a 'not so good looking' ex, and i guess the answer is no i wouldnt cut her so much slack if that was the case. Dunno, Ive tried damn hard to work this massive pull out and perhaps its just her looks and that I was proud to walk with her, EVEN though she would look at other guys and hawk them whilst i was with her.

[broken-and-lost]

"if she wasn't pretty and looked good would you cut her so much slack???????"

 

in truth.. no i wouldnt, its hard to think outside of this box now, so i'll compare her in my mind to another EX GF whom I no longer care about AT ALL and think of her in the same light as a 'not so good looking' ex, and i guess the answer is no i wouldnt cut her so much slack if that was the case. Dunno, Ive tried damn hard to work this massive pull out and perhaps its just her looks and that I was proud to walk with her, EVEN though she would look at other guys and hawk them whilst i was with her.

 

I think deep down you know the answer to why you've put up with so much already and if it's really love or something which blends into life style

 

i've done it myself, had the misfortune to date a model once and i say misfortune she suited my life style perfectly my posh sports car nice house cool job and i'd put up with much more **** from her then any other girl tho her looks were perfect and as you say looked great on your arm in the car on the bed inside she was flawed like a cracked pearl, remember all the things you've worked hard for and what life it is you want for yourself this girl isn't giving you what you need just the illusion of what you desire.

 

A lot of these girls like the attention which comes with these types of jobs they are missing affection on a deeper level so seek attention from who ever is willing to shower them in it "lets face it most men are willing for a beautiful woman" but once they get that from someone they can't handle it and need it fresh from another source to compensate for their own insecurities you on your own will probably never be enough for her not because your not good enough m8 just because she needs to feel wanted by many you splashing out on her only feeds that need man, find a girl that thinks all that stuff is flashy BS that's the one you want to be putting your efforts into hopefully you'll have better luck then me.

 

I've got good job nice cars great place and i've been in the same place you are now remember that stuff does not define you just compliments you enjoy it and look out for the people who admire it in relationships

 

good luck man

Edited February 27, 2012 by broken-and-lost

[a_bit_lost]

awful night sleep. CANT STOP THINKING ABOUT HER!!!!!!!! Enter my mind I dont think I can get past this.

 

I am seeing my therapist tonight and I'm going to read to her the letter I composed to send to the mother and see what my therapist thinks of sending it.

[a_bit_lost]

i cannot see beyond EVER getting over this. Everyone tells me given her previous she will contact me again. I mean jeeze, she got back in touch clearly with her 5 year EX months and months later after our first round together last year.

 

I cant see past her beauty in her stilettos and I cant see ever getting that again.

[a_bit_lost]

in fairness, time and time previously she came back EVEN when i just started NC with her last time round twice, so she must have strong thoughts for me, else she would have been happy to walk away previously and never come back. SO i can't imagine that's she just happy and just over this just like that, not that I necessarily want her to be unhappy but i think you know what I mean.