Is it all a game to God?

[somedude81]

Both my parents are Christian and I was basically raised in the Christian church. Whether I wanted to or not, I attended service at least twice a week until I was 25; my grandmother required that I go to church when I lived with her from 22-25. I'm now 30.

 

I believed in all the Bible/faith stuff and considered myself a good Christian.

 

The one issue is that I was single and desperately wanted a girlfriend from 15 onward. I often prayed to God that I would meet somebody and date her. Though as the years went by and I saw myself getting older without being able to get in a relationship. I got angry and my faith dramatically weakened.

 

Then on one day in February 2010, I met her in Japanese class. The girl with the Ninja Turtle backpack with a Rock Lee key-chain dangling from it. Physically she was everything I wanted, and the fact that we met in a Japanese class and her backpack showed that we had several common interests.

 

After spending some time with her, it was obvious she was the one, my prayers answered. We got along so well it was almost as if she was made for me. I remember the first time I invited her to have lunch with me, I was so nervous, but she said yes. I was so happy and starting to believe that things were finally turning around.

 

A couple of times hanging out on campus, I decide it's time to ask her out on a real date. I was a little scared but not as much as the first time I invited her to lunch. She accepts, we plan the date and everything looks good.

 

When I show up at her house she invites a guy friend along at the last minute, and he just happened to be at her house. Needless to say, the day is ruined. The next time I saw her I asked what happened, she said that if I was looking for a girlfriend that I have to look elsewhere, she's not interested in dating anybody. She offered friendship which I declined.

 

I was basically in shock. What the hell happened? How/why did everything suddenly go wrong?

 

We didn't speak the for the last month we were in class together and had no contact over the summer. A few months later classes started and she shows up to one class I'm in a week or so into it. I specifically checked the class roll online on the first day to make sure she wouldn't be in it. But she still appeared.

 

It wasn't long till I fell for her again. We became just like we were after we had our date. About a month of hanging out, I ask her out on a real date and she tells me that she didn't change her mind since the last time I asked her over five months ago. But unlike last time, we stayed friends. At least of good of friends that a girl and a guy who's crazy about her can be.

 

We spent a lot of time together and did many things, nothing sexual. I really fell for her and was starting to think of ideas for the future. I was almost content being with her like that but I really wanted more.

 

We continued on like that up until a month ago when we had a little fight and she decided that our friendship wasn't working and that we should stop hanging out. She stopped responding to my communications and that was it. Now I'm wondering if I'll ever meet somebody again that I connect with so well, who was almost everything I wanted.

 

Right now I can just picture God laughing at me. I'm sure he thinks it's a grand joke to give me what I wanted just after I'd given up hope and then to put her in a glass box. Then after what he felt was enough time of teasing me, he takes her away.

 

This has left me with so much anger towards God and religion. Why should I worship and pray to a cruel God? Since I have so much trouble with women, I feel that I'm being punished for something I've done, most likely in a past life. It has definitely left me with no faith.

 

I can't see myself ever going back to church, unless I'm invited by a girl that I know likes me as more than a friend. Until then, it's as if all the time I spent at church and related functions was a complete waste of my time and energy. All at the amusement of one I put my faith into.

[Dust]

Pray for some self confidence. Then do something about it!

 

God helps those who help themselves. Remember that.

[Meeks7]

Hey man,

Sorry to hear what happened between you and your friend. I can relate. It's tough bro, but one thing I learned over the years is that crushes that don't work out -- it's never "as good" as our rose-colored lens made it out to be. Bottom line is this, if a girl doesn't like you for who you are, be glad she ain't around. Because some girl who's crazy for you WILL make you forget about all past girls. You just have to be optimistic, and look to the future with great hope and anticipation. At the same time, make sure you don't miss out on the present as well. This is a mistake most people, not just us guys, make. They can either be so dismayed over the past, or so anticipating the future... that they miss out on the present's blessings. Just gotta open your eyes, expand your horizons a little bit, and think outside the box. Be radical, and certainly don't be a victim.

 

 

 

Right now I can just picture God laughing at me. I'm sure he thinks it's a grand joke to give me what I wanted just after I'd given up hope and then to put her in a glass box. Then after what he felt was enough time of teasing me, he takes her away.

 

This has left me with so much anger towards God and religion. Why should I worship and pray to a cruel God? Since I have so much trouble with women, I feel that I'm being punished for something I've done, most likely in a past life. It has definitely left me with no faith.

 

I can't see myself ever going back to church, unless I'm invited by a girl that I know likes me as more than a friend. Until then, it's as if all the time I spent at church and related functions was a complete waste of my time and energy. All at the amusement of one I put my faith into.

 

 

God doesn't laugh at people's suffering. He is a loving God, even when we may not think he is. Like you, I grew up Christian. I fell away in college, but eventually found my way back home.

 

Some things we can't explain. However, I trust and put my faith in Jeremiah 29:11. I feel God will honor your desire one day, but in the meantime, you got to prepare the field for that harvest.

 

It's OK too to be angry at God.

Just make sure you leave Him space to respond. Shutting Him out completely will lead to Him being shut out. You can yell and scream, but just leave Him room to respond. Keep an open mind and an open heart. The Bible is crystal clear God allows Himself to be found by those who earnestly seek. Keep seeking. God is compassionate and although you may not get what you want today, one day you may get yours, and only then will you understand why you had those "dry years" so to speak. God is building you up for a big breakthrough.

 

A set-up for a comeback.

[stillafool]

,

 

 

 

It's OK too to be angry at God.

Just make sure you leave Him space to respond. Shutting Him out completely will lead to Him being shut out. You can yell and scream, but just leave Him room to respond. Keep an open mind and an open heart. The Bible is crystal clear God allows Himself to be found by those who earnestly seek. Keep seeking. God is compassionate and although you may not get what you want today, one day you may get yours, and only then will you understand why you had those "dry years" so to speak. God is building you up for a big breakthrough.

 

A set-up for a comeback.

 

This is so correct. God has not forgotten you. I too asked God to send me the man he wants me to marry. I waited years and when my husband found me I knew he was God's choice for me. Not only was he nice but also the most goodlooking and faithful man I have ever been with. He told me he had asked God to send him the woman he was suppose to marry.

Don't lose your faith because your girl is in the process of finding you right now. She will be all that you desired and more.

[BoredAgain]

This sort of thing happens to Christians, Muslims, Buddhists, and atheists alike. Religion doesn't seem to play into it. You need to just work on yourself, become a better and happier person, and move on. You'll have more relationships (and more ups and downs), but as long as you can be happy with yourself then you'll be fine.

[Forever Learning]

You are the master of your destiny.

 

Leave God out of it.

 

Believe in free will. God gave us all free will here on Earth to be the masters of our own destiny.

 

If we were all his puppets, how would we ever learn anything?

 

We learn by making our own choices and our own mistakes.

 

But yes, there is a twist to it all. God helps those who help themselves.

 

The only reason you don't have a girlfriend has got to be the vibes you sending out to girls. It's the vibe you are projecting. Look at your avatar. It says "Nice guys finish last". What message does that send? You could very well meet a girl on this website. But that message is one of self pity. That is NOT a turn on for a girl. I am not scolding you. I am not trying to pick a fight. I am speaking to you honestly and from the heart. I met someone and fell in love on this website. It could happen to you, or to anyone. But not when you are sending out a negative vibe.

 

Negativity is not a chick or dude magnet. Listen to what Dust said. Build your confidence and self esteem. Fake it til you make it. You catch more flies with honey than with vinegar. It's all about that mindset. This is my message to you. You have to practice this daily to get it working for you, not just once in a while.

 

If chicks sense you are major damaged goods, they will be wary of you, if not out and out run for the hills. You have to make them feel comfortable around you, and want to get to know you because of your sunny disposition. You don't have to be a super hero alpha stud. But you can't be a sniveling pity party either. Not saying you are. Just trying to show you some different sides of the coin and how one side works, and one doesn't.

 

You've heard me b*tch moan and groan about the douchebag I was with for 16 years. He used to say all the time, that he was "God's little joke".

 

 

He thought everything that went wrong in his life, was God playing a cruel joke on him. This dude would get drunk and wreck his truck. He would blame it on God. His marriages failed due to his alcoholism. Again, would blame God, rather than take responsibility for his own (negative) behavior. Same deal when he would get fired from jobs, etc, etc, etc. It was always his attitude. Yet, he always blamed God, and not himself.

 

I hope you find value in something I said here. Chin up and all the best to you!

Edited December 27, 2011 by Forever Learning

[otherfish]

If you went to church as long as you stated and as many times then you must of slept thru every service. God is a loving God and has no time to "play games" with you or anyone. Your life on this earth is serious business to God afterall He did create you. Did you ever stop to think that she wasnt the one that He planned for you and He was removing her and will eventually replace her with the one perfect for you?

[KathyM]

I have to say it, since you brought up the subject, but the reason she was taken from you is because you have rejected God's will for your life. You may have been brought up in the church and went because of your mother or grandmother, but you did not embrace the faith yourself. I can tell that, based on posts you've made over the past several months. Through your posts, you have been giving us the message that you're trying to get laid by any female you can find, even if you have to pay for it. (Sorry, I know that sounds harsh, but if you want an honest answer to why your prayers have not been answered, that is why.) I'll show you a case where God answered a prayer: my sister. After her separation from her second husband, she went through a stream of men, and all of them were not right for her. All of them were not a match. She had sex with pretty much all of them. None of those relationships worked out. Then, after some prompting from me and her son, she decided to pray about it and be obedient to God in the form of celebacy. Sure enough, within six months, God provided the most perfect match for her, and they are now getting married in six weeks. You have to prove your faithfulness and obedience before you can expect God to provide you with what you want. But once you do that, He will provide. God knows your desires to have a gf, but if you are going to reject Him through disobedience and lack of faith, then you are on your own. If you are faithful and obedient, then He will answer your prayer.

[quankanne]

his has left me with so much anger towards God and religion. Why should I worship and pray to a cruel God? Since I have so much trouble with women, I feel that I'm being punished for something I've done, most likely in a past life. It has definitely left me with no faith.

 

seems to me that you're confusing the Christian God of Love with mythological Greek/Roman deities who are big on hubris, i.e., screwing with your head and treating you like a pawn on some great big chessboard, just for shxts and giggles.

 

life isn't like that. Maybe this is an exercise in learning to grow your heart larger by accepting that there's more than one kind of love to experience, and that as you are able to accept that you are capable of loving someone as the relationship dictates, you move into another experience. Because i honestly don't think God's interested in screwing with your mind, but wants you to learn how to love selflessly ...

[somedude81]

Just want to say I've read over all the posts and some of them are very interesting. I'll make a full reply pretty soon.

 

BTW, I'm actually surprised that somebody said that God actually is punishing me. KathyM also brought up sex.

 

I'll just say that I lost my virginity at 23 and I had to make it happen. The last thing I've done is slept around. Also, I haven't had sex in a little over two years....

 

Why did God choose to ignore the prayers of an innocent? I only started to lack faith when I realized that things were not happening like they did for everybody else.

 

Why make it so that I had to take things into my own hands? Why couldn't I have met a good Christian girl at Church and married her?

 

There is much more to it than my experiences with D.

[Eve]

I don't know your history here as I have not really read your posts longer than a line or two as you are a very negative person. I am really shocked that you consider yourself 'Christian'. I would have never thought it at all!

 

In total, I dont think you have really made a decision faith wise and the girl thing is a symptom of this. You have a very clear line where the version you have of 'god' is about getting the girl, not about actual faith. This is very clear within what you have written. I mean nowhere do you share a relationship with God other than going to Church because of family expectations.

 

I think you need to explore your life as you are really living it and call upon God only when you are ready to leave it behind/for assistance to leave it behind. Deep down I think you know that a Christian girl is unlikely to be attracted to you.

 

There is no inbetween state. You are either in or out.

 

Maybe you have to accept that you are not a Christian?

 

Take care,

Eve x

[somedude81]

Maybe you have to accept that you are not a Christian?

Excuse me?! Who the hell do you think you are to say that?

 

Should I be turning to you for papal favor?

[Eve]

Excuse me?! Who the hell do you think you are to say that?

 

Should I be turning to you for papal favor?

 

Lol, yeah right. I am not even a Catholic.

 

Can't believe that this conclusion has not come to you, as yet. It's obvious.

 

All in all it sounds like you are following the faith for family, not yourself.

 

I am surprised that this has not been picked up by your Priest, Pastor or whoever leads you. Maybe approach him or her one on one and say what you have said here. I don't expect you to be open to me but maybe you will be more open to them?

 

All the best,

Take care,

Eve x

[RecordProducer]

This has left me with so much anger towards God and religion. Why should I worship and pray to a cruel God? Since I have so much trouble with women, I feel that I'm being punished for something I've done, most likely in a past life. It has definitely left me with no faith.

God and faith are not there (should be in your heart???) so you can make deals: "I'll believe in you if you get me the kind of girl I can't otherwise have." Your faith in God should give you love for people, instill moral values to stick to, inspire you to create great things, give you hope when you're down and strength to carry on, give you wisdom and humility to accept the things you can't change, and the modesty to appreciate what you have. God doesn't own a match-making business nor does it get jobs and money for "believers."

 

I can't see myself ever going back to church, unless I'm invited by a girl that I know likes me as more than a friend.

No deal!

 

Until then, it's as if all the time I spent at church and related functions was a complete waste of my time and energy.

Conspicuously so. It's your job to make yourself happy.

 

All at the amusement of one I put my faith into.

Faith is unconditional. If you think God is amused then you never had faith in the first place.

 

Consider me God's messenger.

[FredRutherford]

*** bumping ***

[D-Lish]

SD,

 

Do you really believe there is an omnipotent being in the sky looking down at you while pulling the puppet strings and making you a main character on an episode of "Punked"?

 

Life doesn't work that way. It doesn't work that way because there is no such thing as "God". Life is up to you.

 

No such thing as destiny, or some divine plan. We make our own destiny through our own decisions and actions.

 

If some girl isn't interested in you, you have an abundance of choices to make to change your hurting that have nothing to do with being a puppet on some divine string.

 

Do you think the kid in Syria that got blown apart by crossfire yesterday was a part of a "Divine Plan"? He wasn't, he/she was a victim of life.

Life is cruel, but to think we aren't in charge of our own destiny is naive.

 

If you meet a girl and you fall for her and she doesn't want to date you, take charge, take control and move on to the next. That's what life is really about.

[somedude81]

So this thread popped up again.

 

Do you really believe there is an omnipotent being in the sky looking down at you while pulling the puppet strings and making you a main character on an episode of "Punked"?

I don't know anymore.

 

Roughly 25 years of going to church tells me yes.

 

But for the past few years I have been wondering if God exists or not. Many will swear wholeheartedly that he does.

 

I would say no if I my religion didn't instil a fear of the afterlife in me.

 

One thing I'm fairly sure of, if God exists, he doesn't care about us.

[whichwayisup]

So this thread popped up again.

 

 

I don't know anymore.

 

Roughly 25 years of going to church tells me yes.

 

But for the past few years I have been wondering if God exists or not. Many will swear wholeheartedly that he does.

 

I would say no if I my religion didn't instil a fear of the afterlife in me.

 

One thing I'm fairly sure of, if God exists, he doesn't care about us.

 

I'm not relgious at all, not sure if God exists either, but all I know is, there's so much pain and suffering on this planet, there better darn well be an after life. This can't be it.

 

But with that said, it's not that God doesn't care, remember we all have Free Will.. We all have choice in our lives, making decisions, which path to take.. It's not like our lives are laid out for us and we're all just going along with our destiny's carved in stone. It's up to each individual to make the best of their life and learn/grow through good and bad experiences.

 

Something that scares me though, if there is a God, then doesn't there have to be Devil? We all know there is evil in this world..

[FredRutherford]

 

So this thread popped up again.

I "bumped" it bec. it was about to expire and lock-up.

Threads close after 60 days.

Saw it but didn't have time to post my thoughts.

It's an interesting topic.

 

[i don't know anymore.

 

Roughly 25 years of going to church tells me yes.

 

But for the past few years I have been wondering if God exists or not. Many will swear wholeheartedly that he does.

Somedude,

Having doubts is normal and entirely legitimate.

You're not wrong here as even longtime believers have "dry periods."

 

I would say no if I my religion didn't instil a fear of the afterlife in me.

 

One thing I'm fairly sure of, if God exists, he doesn't care about us.

This almost sounds like a pity party, SomeDude.

 

God does exist, you know it, despite maybe not taking-in much of what was said in the religious services you attended. Perhaps it was a fringe denomination that espoused oddball beliefs and restrictive rules (men can't wear shorts in the summer, no kissing, etc.).

 

God is on his throne, the world is right and everything...

...but you have to realize you have a role in things too.

We're not robots. We make our choices, good and bad.

 

You just can't sit back and expect things to happen.

Edited February 23, 2012 by FredRutherford

[FredRutherford]

You posted how you would only go to church if a woman invited you to services.

That may not be a bad idea.

 

A guy I know was a big partier, a womanizer, dated two women at a time (got busted) in HS and college.... until he met this sweet Christian gal.

He tried to pursue her, which involved going to her church. Her faith was important to her and she must have seen something in him.

He changed his life, made a commitment to God and fell in love with her.

They've been married for years.

 

There's "Missionary dating" some women engage in.

There's a poster on LS who was converted through dating one of those Christian women.

It didn't work out in the two of them forming a relationship, but he got some dating experience and met other Christian women. He's clearly not as desperate as he once was now that' he's dating more.

 

Then there are Christian women who'll date non-believers or ones not strong in their faith.

They're not going to let the guy they date make them renounce their faith or anything, but they're comfortable with their lives, others' lives, their world and the world around them.

That's an attitude you should have, SomeDude.

You don't want to come-off as uptight about things.

 

So things like that can happen.

But you need to be open to that and start taking some steps to meet and pursue women in all kinds of venues, including religious services and activities.

[somedude81]

I "bumped" it bec. it was about to expire and lock-up.

Threads close after 60 days.

Saw it but didn't have time to post my thoughts.

It's an interesting topic.

I really don't care about if this thread closes.

 

It's basically me ranting, "God didn't provide like I was told he wold and I hate him."

 

There's also the feeling that I wasted so much time in Chruch if God can't do something as simple as help me find my Eve.

This almost sounds like a pity party, SomeDude

It is.

 

You posted how you would only go to church if a woman invited you to services.

That may not be a bad idea.

But it's not something I can control.

 

It will only happen if God wills it and that crap.

 

For all I can see, God wants me alone and miserable.

[ffw]

SD, one thing you should have learned is God is more interested in making us holy than making us happy. Be thankful to the life you have. You are not looking the whole picture. Be thankful that you have food on your plate everyday & a clean glass of water to drink. It seems like your aim & whole point of life revolves around getting a girl.

[somedude81]

SD, one thing you should have learned is God is more interested in making us holy than making us happy. Be thankful to the life you have. You are not looking the whole picture. Be thankful that you have food on your plate everyday & a clean glass of water to drink. It seems like your aim & whole point of life revolves around getting a girl.

Be thankful?

 

Honestly, I wouldn't care if I didn't wake up tomorrow.

[ffw]

Be thankful?

 

Honestly, I wouldn't care if I didn't wake up tomorrow.

 

Even if you had a girl in your life? I don't this so.

[somedude81]

Even if you had a girl in your life? I don't this so.

Yeah, the fact that that's missing is the reason why I wouldn't care...