Ive just had major revenge :0 :D XD

[thebig-guy]

Ok im not going to drone on too much about my situation but basically i had a relationship for around a year with a girl who half way through went to work abroad. we lasted about 4 months then things went major downhill. she was showing signs of feeling guilty etc, you know all the usual stuff. Anyway i made an attempt to rescue the relationship by visiting her abroad only to realise she was completely heartless with me and i went home feeling more depressed than ever. Immediatly when i got home she broke up with me.

 

Anyway its been a long strung out breakup. approx 2 months. Mainly big arguements about me not trying hard enough and that it was all my fault.

 

1 month after no contact i hear from someone shes getting engaged to this new guy who i suspected she was seeing a long time ago. She denied his involvement in the breakup swearing he was nothing to do with it.

 

This resulted in me getting extremely angry. I couldnt grasp how such an honest person would lie so much to get rid of me?

 

I ended up gaining access to her social networking account (yes its totally not the right thing to do) and found messages of her and this guy discussing their love before id even broke up with her, but further more, before id even been out to see her! Which cost me £500!!

 

I noted this message:

 

"Brian is going home tommorow (me) and ive not done anything sexual with him (she did). Ive told him not to come out here anymore (she didnt).

 

I am sorry i cant be with you tonight but i will be with you tommorow and you can do anything you like to me "

 

xxxx

 

 

Obviously ive been lied to throughout the breakup and made to feel in dispair, and sometimes majorly depressed because i was led to believe it was my fault. Anyway i posted the above comment of hers on her social account for all her friends and family to see...

 

Most of you are probably going to say this is not the right thing for me to do. You may ask why ive acted like this? Well if im honest, I thought it was selfish, cowardly and cruel for her to not spare my tears and tell me that she was seeing someone else rather than letting me take the blame.

 

By doing this invasion of privacy, i have uncovered a massive conspiracy that would have been dwelled upon for years to come... I now know the absolute truth. And i think that for any of you that have been dumped, you deserve to know exactly why it was...

 

Comments welcome...

Edited December 15, 2011 by thebig-guy

[wilsonx]

You could have just posted your story or pmed me and I would have given you the same thing that you found out illegally.

 

How is this revenge though? Its not

[thebig-guy]

This is revenge because ive made her feel the way ive been feeling for months. How is it not revenge?

[gibson]

Why is it that people feel the need to find "prove" when they already know they are being lied too, cheated on, etc?

 

1. The moment you think someone is cheating on you, the relationship just ended right then and there.

 

2. Without trust, there is no relationship.

 

3. Why would you want to stay with someone who you think is / capable of cheating on you in the first place?

 

4. Staying with someone who you think has / is capable of cheating becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy and never has a happy ending.

 

5. You can expect what you "expect" from your BF / GF if you accuse or think your BF / GF is capable of cheating. They will more times than not, rise (or fall) to meet your expectations you place on them and the relationship. It's human nature that if someone you love, trust and says they care about you tells you enough times that you are a cheater... you start to internalize it, think about, consider it, believe it and a lot of times act on it. After all, to you... they are cheater. Plus, you make them pay for a crime they didn't commit so might as well do it after all.

 

6. If someone cheats on me, it's not my problem they cheated, it's theirs.

 

7. You have ZERO control and cannot build walls high enough to stop someone from cheating on you, if that is what they want to do. Not to mention, it's very tiring, sick way to live and you make it so miserable for them, they either cheat or break up anyway.

 

Back to your story....

 

I could never do something like that to someone I loved or cared about. In fact, I couldn't do it to someone I loath and despise. I don't care what they did or didn't do to me.

 

Nobody deserves to have their personal space and privacy violated, ever. Just because you do not have enough self-respect, think so little of yourself and are unable to break up with someone who you know is cheating on you, doesn't give you a right to take your anger out on her for being a total pu55y by committing a crime and then smear her in public for all the world to see, friends and family included.

 

Personally, I think you are one sick puppy and a far worse human being than your Ex is.

 

Next time, just walk away with your head held high.

Edited December 15, 2011 by gibson

[thebig-guy]

why do i feel so much better then? Anyone who cheats and throws the blame on the victim deserves to be punished. She constantly accused me of cheating during our relationship and yet shes the one who did it.

 

I strongly dissagree with your comment saying im a far worse person. I did not cheat, and did not make her travel overseas on a wasted trip only to make her life a living hell for 3 days before dumping her when she got home.

 

Also:

6. If someone cheats on me, it's not my problem they cheated, it's theirs.

 

Well it is your problem because your left feeling as though theres a problem with you or something youve done!

Edited December 15, 2011 by thebig-guy

[davesterr]

Everything is fair in love and war bro.

Can't tell you the stuff i did to find out what i needed to.

But let's just say you are not even that bad haha.

 

Anyways im glad you finally know.

Now you can stop taking the blame on yourself.

Sometimes we gotta break some rules to do what's right.

Don't feel bad.

[thebig-guy]

Very true... If there were laws with relationships like these then she has already broke many. ive broke one, and found out what i need to know. And you know what? im the happiest ive been in months. And im already speaking with someone else who seems alot more genuine

Edited December 15, 2011 by thebig-guy

[davesterr]

It's good your finally alot happier man.

I personally wouldn't have posted on her facebook though.

For me finding out would be enough.

But then again we all gotta live our own lives so i am not gonna judge at all.

 

Just be glad you can now let go of the past alot easier.

I know that ''knowing'' and truely knowing after finding out are 2 different things.

Now you truely know.

Move on and enjoy your life man.

[Chi townD]

I understand why you did it. Not sure if I would agree entirely with it;however, I understand why you did it. But, You might have just opened pandora's box.

 

Has anyone approached you about it yet?

[SkyEmtRN]

I understand why you did it. Not sure if I would agree entirely with it;however, I understand why you did it. But, You might have just opened pandora's box.

 

Has anyone approached you about it yet?

 

I agree....who says she doesn't have anything planned to get revenge on your revenge?

[thebig-guy]

Thanks mate.

 

All ive had is a "leave her alone" message from the sister. not really much of a response (not that im looking for one) shes probably too guilty to even say anything to me. I know i would be if id have wrote that kind of stuff while i was seeing her.

 

One thing i didnt mention was that when i saw all these messages between the two while she was cheating, i didnt get angry! i actually was relieved to see all this stuff shed been writing to him like "i love you so much i dont even like him anymore". All this reminded me that i was right all along *

[gibson]

why do i feel so much better then?

 

Get back to me on that, I bet in several weeks or a month, you will regret what you did.

 

Anyone who cheats and throws the blame on the victim deserves to be punished.

 

1. Don't make someone else's perception of you, become your reality.

 

2. What goes around comes around... Since you are all about being fair and handing out justice... Anyone you ever hurt has to right to punish you also?

 

She constantly accused me of cheating during our relationship and yet shes the one who did it.

 

1. Again, why would you want to be with someone who does this? You are the one that choose to stay, she didn't make you.

 

2. You just learned a GREAT life lesson! People that accuse you of cheating, lying, stealing, etc. Will most likely being doing it soon if they are not already. I'm not a cheater so I never even think of doing it much less having it done to me. So if you date someone who accuses you all the time of cheating, they think about and or cheating (or soon will be).

 

I strongly dissagree with your comment saying im a far worse person.

 

I hate to break this too you... but you committed several crimes and civil offenses. You could be arrested and serve some serious jail time.

 

1. Breaking into her FB & email. - Felony computer intrusion & misuse.

 

2. Stalking - Misdemeanor

 

3. Defamation of character - Multiple counts

 

4. Slander - Civil offense for which you could be sued.

 

I can provide links of 1,000+ cases that weren't even close to what you did where charges, fines, and jail time was served if you would like.

 

Is finding out what you already knew and suspected worth being arrested, having to pay money to defend yourself, possible jail time or being sued? Not to mention, it will follow you around forever and could prevent you from getting a job.

 

What you did is VERY SERIOUS and if I was you, I would be VERY CONCERNED. Not only did you violate her space and privacy but you took it to a very cruel and sick place by posting it for all the world to see.

 

Your Ex has a BF, parents and friends who love her in-spite of what she did... You smeared her in a very personally way. You think the new BF, daddy and mommy aren't going to take what you did and the information you shared serious? They are going to want to extract the same "punishment" that you seem to feel justified to dish out on you.

 

The next knock at your door, could very well be and should be the police.

 

Is your butthole puckered up now?

 

It's the same reason why Chi townD is asking if you have heard from anyone yet. You just unleashed hell by hurting someone's little girl like you just did. You were very personal, expect the same in return.

 

I do not know how old you are but you sound young. I strongly encourage you to notify your parents ASAP. They might be able to get involved, contact her parents, smooth things over before this escalates.

 

I did not cheat, and did not make her travel overseas on a wasted trip only to make her life a living hell for 3 days before dumping her when she got home.

 

No, you did that to yourself. Again see my guidelines in the previous post above on how to handle a BF / GF you suspect is / capable of cheating.

 

Also:

6. If someone cheats on me, it's not my problem they cheated, it's theirs.

 

Well it is your problem because your left feeling as though theres a problem with you or something youve done!

 

1. If someone cheats on me, they have the problem, not me. I'm not a cheater and I would never think that I have a problem or something I have done. There is no excuse for cheating, it's always wrong.

 

2. A cheater is a cheater, it's not a reflection of me in any way.

 

3. A cheater does you a favor. They just showed you their their true colors.

 

4. A cheater lacks integrity, morals, character, honesty, has no respect for me or the relationship, etc. I don't know about you but I don't date or want to be involved with people like that. So to me, it would be a blessing I am no longer wasting my time with someone like that.

Edited December 15, 2011 by gibson

[davesterr]

theres a 1000 cases you can show him where they got busted.

theres a million cases where crime went unnoticed.

it's not like he killed someone.

sure u might wonder why some people want to be with a person who's like that.

and maybe you are right.

but when you're in love you tend to make things work and love someone even with their flaws.

just because a cheater cheats on you and turns out not to be the person you thought they were , doesn't mean it doesn't hurt.

it simply shows that they weren't right to be with.

anyone is capable of cheating and one might suspect it but that doesn't mean they actually tell who they are dating about it thus implying it as what you ment in your guideline.

 

will you get busted for your ''crime''?

doubt it , i don't think they want to spend money on a laywer and everything just because you hacked their facebook.

 

everyone has their own opinion though and i respect that.

and even though personally i didn't think it was right to post on her fb.

then again she cheated on you and deserved it aswel.

should you worry about how you made their parents ''little girl'' look?

nah , she's not your problem anymore and not yours to defend.

like i said: everyone has their own morals and do what they think is right.

then again i don't think what you did was such a huge crime either.

would it be smarter if you peeked but not posted?

sure , but what's done is done.

move on and ignore the rest.

 

also small thing about the cheating thing.

i can understand gibsons point of view.

but speaking from someone who's been in love.

when someone cheats on you , you tend to blame yourself for what went wrong.

why you weren't good enough , what you could've done better.

in a way you love this person , and therefore don't wanna lose that person.

instead of simply saying: oh i got cheated on , owell next!

it really doesn't work like that even though that's all what we would like.

i can understand why thebig_guy is so happy because he can finally move on from finding hardcore truth.

whether he will regret his posting on the wall making it public , only time will tell.

again just how i see things though.

Edited December 15, 2011 by davesterr

[magro]

1. Breaking into her FB & email. - Felony computer intrusion & misuse.

 

2. Stalking - Misdemeanor

 

3. Defamation of character - Multiple counts

 

4. Slander - Civil offense for which you could be sued.

 

I can provide links of 1,000+ cases that weren't even close to what you did where charges, fines, and jail time was served if you would like.

 

Is finding out what you already knew and suspected worth being arrested, having to pay money to defend yourself, possible jail time or being sued? Not to mention, it will follow you around forever and could prevent you from getting a job.

 

What you did is VERY SERIOUS and if I was you, I would be VERY CONCERNED. Not only did you violate her space and privacy but you took it to a very cruel and sick place by posting it for all the world to see.

 

What the **** are you talking about? Nobodies taking anybody to court. Who takes someone to court over a Facebook status? Defamation of Character and Slander implies that he was saying false things about her and knowing that they were false. He posted true things that were true.

 

The hacking thing is a bit unethical. But what the op did was a cathartic experience necessary in his journey of personal healing. **** the cheating ex, her reputation deserved to be badly tarnished a x1000 times over and she deserves any and all retribution.

[davesterr]

^ hahaha o sheet!

[gibson]

Mommy, Daddy, her new BF and friends just saw the following message:

 

"Brian is going home tommorow (me) and ive not done anything sexual with him (she did). Ive told him not to come out here anymore (she didnt).

 

I am sorry i cant be with you tonight but i will be with you tommorow and you can do anything you like to me "

 

I think you are crazy if you do not think this will escalate.

[davesterr]

How old is this chick anyway?

Unless shes 13 i don't think her parents will care finding out she's a skank that lies and cheated on her boyfriend and is sexually active.

[M2155]

So to be honest if I could have accessed my ex's FB God knows I would have to validate what I suspected and see how long it had been going on (since he didn't tell me). But posting it on FB? I don't get how this is revenge. If I were in her shoes, I think it makes you look worse/lame. So some people see she cheated, but it's in the past now and she got the guy. You're the only one who cares about this "massive conspiracy". I don't see the same hurt for her. I think one day you will look back and see it didnt change anything in helping to put this behind you. But it's done, glad you feel better.

[gibson]

How old is this chick anyway?

Unless shes 13 i don't think her parents will care finding out she's a skank that lies and cheated on her boyfriend and is sexually active.

 

davesterr... you wonder why you are treated like a chump and a doormat by your GF's.

 

You still don't see that you are the one with the problem. Your problem is your view of women, you don't respect them and you don't respect yourself, you see yourself only as a victim.

 

You are the one that allows a women to treat you like crap, cheat on you, leave you for someone else and you still chase after them, beg and plead with them to take you back. You let them do this over and over again. Yet you still only blame them.

 

Truth is, you are your own worse enemy and until you figure that out, you will continue to be manipulated, cheated on, lied too and left for someone else.

 

Get Better, Not Bitter!

Edited December 15, 2011 by gibson

[davesterr]

actually i have never been cheated on and i don't think you know me.

you got 5 posts on this forum yet you talk like you know who i am.

 

i think you take yourself too serious here.

you talk like you are invisible , unable to get hurt.

if you get cheated on you act like you are fine and wont be hurt.

well i can tell you , if you are in love and you lose someone , it does hurt.

so unless you are only into yourself and jerk off 24/7 to porn , i don't think you are as invisible as you try to make yourself sound like on this forum.

 

you think you got the magic formula for dating?

how come you're on here?

a relationship isnt about you or the other person.

its about both.

 

and it's funny you talk like you know me when you're way off.

but then again im not gonna bother wasting time on someone who thinks he knows it all.

oh and btw , i respect women , i just don't respect women that cheat.

you don't know the topicstarters story , what went wrong or how he acted.

a relationship takes 2.

even if someone does everything right , and the woman is too stupid to still cheat doesn't make it the guys fault.

some women are just idiots.

but then again , not wasting time with someone who thinks he knows it all.

Edited December 15, 2011 by davesterr

[SkyEmtRN]

Ok enough you too. Don't start a senseless war on a forum. Keep it on topic. Internet bashing is not going to get anyone any where in their personal issues. It'll just create more tension that neither one of you need right now. If you wanto get ur anger out write a new thread and bash your ex. No one knows eachother on here. We're all strangers trying help one another's problem and right the problem is the op doing an immature move even though he claims in helping his healing process. Please apologize to one another even if your wrong or right.

[gibson]

well i can tell you , if you are in love and you lose someone , it does hurt. so unless you are only into yourself and jerk off 24/7 to porn , i don't think you are as invisible as you try to make yourself sound like on this forum.

 

it's funny you talk like you know me when you're way off.

but then again im not gonna bother wasting time on someone who thinks he knows it all.

 

Davesterr, I know your story.

 

Your story...

 

You live in Europe, met a girl in USA online, flew over here to meet her, you two shared your first kiss together at the rip age of 21, you kissed her a total of 2 times and she broke up with you a week later online. You were "together" a total of 2 months and went on a total of 3 dates.

 

A year later while you are back in the USA you contact her, profess your love for her in which she told you that she only wanted to be friends. After telling you she wants to be friends, you buy her a prom dress, give her a $100 gift card and a $200 dollar necklace to "remember you by". What do you get for all your trouble? A hug and she disappears again. This according to all your own post here and you are still hung up on her after 1.5 years?

 

Someone told me last night i was bipolar cuz she lied about a promise and i got mad at her while we used to be sort of friends.The promise wasn't a big deal but i still got pissed at her where as normally i shouldn't even bother about it.

 

People you know think you have issues possibly bi-polar because you are still mad a year and a half later about something a girl who you met online promised you when you were "sort of friends".

 

You haven't even had sex or been to second base with a girl but I'm the one who has the porn problem? Really?

 

What does your "Ex" get for all her troubles?

 

You stalk her, hack into her accounts, refuse to quit contacting her when she made it clear she isn't interested.

 

Can't tell you the stuff i did to find out what i needed to. But let's just say you are not even that bad haha. we gotta break some rules to do what's right.

 

You think you are the one that knows it all? You think you should be the one dishing out relationship, sex and dating advice? Seriously?

 

Tell you what... After you date a girl for real, have sex and a relationship where you see the person more than 3 - 5 days total... You can then share your experience, wisdom and advice on dating, love, sex and relationships.

 

Until then, get off your computer, get out of the house, ask out women until one says yes and go get some professional help so you can stop stalking, harassing and get over a girl who isn't interested in you that you only saw a handful of times over a year and a half ago.

Edited December 15, 2011 by gibson

[davesterr]

Actually the girl who made a promise was a friend not my ex gf lol.

I already knew you first made a blunt post based on nothing.

Then figured oh there's something called a search button.

Goodjob on finding it.

 

Like i said , you have no idea who i am.

Then again why would i waste time on some loser who made a new account to hide on this forum?

You think you know it all , good for you.

If your life was that amazing then you wouldn't be here in the first place.

I'm most likely talking to a 30 year old who can't get a woman to love him because otherwise he wouldn't act like hes tough on a relationship forum lol.

 

Also i never had any problems letting go of my ex.

I never harassed or anything.

Again your assuming things based on nothing.

It's funny how more and more people go on this forum for the wrong reasons.

And it's funny how you first posted about me before you did your little research claiming stuff based on no proof whatsoever.

When i figured it took you longer than 30 minutes to post a reply i figured you were doing your little research.

Goodjob you found my backup story , want a cookie?

Seriously your pathetic and think your the shiit.

Yet you are here alone on a new account because you're hiding.

 

Anyways no worries to skyemtrm.

I'm not gonna waste my time on a bunch of 30-40 year old no lives.

The fact that he did all his research to come up with a useless reply shows that he's a complete loser wit nothing better to do.

Sad people on this forum.

 

Also relationship advice has nothing to do with sex.

I'm not here to give tips about how to make a girl orgasm.

You prolly feel good cuz you slept with some desperate ugly people out there but yet got dumped in the end.

Then again that's something il rather pass.

Really man , find something better to do with your time.

You're just making yourself look more stupid by doing all your research and replying lol.

Pathetic.

Edited December 15, 2011 by davesterr

[gibson]

Also i never had any problems letting go of my ex.

 

Right... That's why you are posting about how lost you are without her in Oct. a year and half after breaking up. Totally over her are we?

 

I never harassed or anything.

Again your assuming things based on nothing.

 

You said yourself that you hack into her accounts and worse. In my book and in the book of many, that is a serious form of harassment.

 

Yet you are here alone on a new account because you're hiding.

 

How else am I suppose to post on here without creating a new account? Didn't you?

 

Unlike you, I don't hack into people's accounts so I can't use yours.

 

The fact that he did all his research to come up with a useless reply shows that he's a complete loser wit nothing better to do. Sad people on this forum.

 

Oh I see... They should have based the "The Most Interesting Man In The World" commercials on you. Yeah, I can totally see that.

 

Also relationship advice has nothing to do with sex.

 

Not exactly true but you are the one that stated I must jerk off to porn due to lack of sex with a women. Considering you haven't had sex or seen a women naked in real life, I wouldn't have went there if I was you.

 

You prolly feel good cuz you slept with some desperate ugly people out there but yet got dumped in the end.

Then again that's something il rather pass.

 

Again, considering you haven't had sex, why go there? You open yourself up to a lot of attacks.

 

I also happen to be a gentlemen who has a great deal of respect for women and the women I had the privilege of dating. So no, I won't be discussing our sex life with you or anyone else for that matter.

Edited December 15, 2011 by gibson

[davesterr]

that's good for you man.

toobad no one cares.