*Cringe* one night stand...

[louise_23]

i dont make a habit of them....in fact this was my first one....but i just feel so awful about the whole thing.

 

i recently broke up with (for good) my ex of 6yrs and my moms just found out shes got cancer of the lymph nodes. i was quite upset but putting a brave face on to go out with friends, ended up drinking FAR too much. this guy came along after my friends had gone home, after noticing i was kinda being harassed by some other dude, offered me to come back to his to sober up a bit. sounds sordid but it was actually me that came on to him when we got there.

 

anyway, i was too drunk to be much of a good time to be honest. i dont know what had possessed me as im usually sensible. in the morning i felt truly awful in both senses. he did ask where i was going whilst i was dressing and i said i need to move my car because it was parked in a restricted area from the night before. he said move it to the parking lot behind his apartment. i said ill just go because youre falling asleep, he said you can wake me up when youre back. i said ok......and then didnt go back.

 

after sobering up at home about 10hours later, i felt so disgusted by the way ive acted towards this guy. i sent him a message on facebook just saying sorry about this morning & thanks for helping me last night. havent heard back, not that i expected to, but wtf must he think of me? was i an easy lay all along or what?

 

wont be doing it again in a hurry but just wanted someone elses opinion to be honest. i dread running into him again :/

[xpaperxcutx]

The best and only way to address an ons is not to address it at all. You shouldn't have to apologize about what happrned but you do need to bemore aware about having too much to drink the next time around. And if you do meet said guy again, its okay to just be nice and courteous; or ignoring him like he's a stranger. Just don't bring the ons up.

 

I'm sorry to hear abbout your ex

[O'Malley]

I'm sorry about your mother -- obviously you're having a pretty rough time of things right now. And the breakup just compounds it. I wouldn't beat yourself up over this, you sought out an outlet, but possibly not the healthiest one for you.

 

You didn't force this guy to have sex with you, so it would be a ridiculous notion for him to take some hypocritical high ground here. If you've already contacted him, leave be and don't make a big deal of it if you do run into him. My personal take is that if he was truly looking out for you, he would have taken you home, called you a cab, or allowed you to sleep it off. I'm not defaulting to the position that you've been victimized, but that he knew what he was getting involved in when you initiated and he didn't chose to refrain.

 

If you feel personal fallout about what occurred, implement those choices that you feel that you require in order to avoid this kind of situation again. Whether that is focusing on better, safer outlets for your stress, limiting your alcohol intake, or only socially drinking when you have some trusted friends around who are guaranteed to watch your back and get you home.

[dasein]

These kinds of embarrassing morning after regrets have happened to most all of us in life, probably every one of us past a certain age. Look at it as a learning experience to navigate your behavior with in the future. Don't devalue yourself or wallow in guilt, that tends to lead to a repeat and even more guilt. The only way we learn in life is by making mistakes and learning from them, so you are just an average human being, not any more flawed than you let yourself think you are. Try to think of the situation in a lighter, even humorous way and you will be fine in no time.

[Jessica45]

Too bad your friends left you when you clearly need someone. >

 

This guy doesn't sound all that bad. Yeah, he took you to his place and I'm sure the sex played a role in his decision - especially if he was drunk too. But he also treated you well this morning. If he was just into the sex he would have been anxious to see you go. He wanted you to stay.

 

It's too bad you didn't go back - unless of course you really don't like this guy after all? You kinda turned things around and made it seem like you only wanted him for sex and that it was a big mistake. Was it?

[louise_23]

The best and only way to address an ons is not to address it at all. You shouldn't have to apologize about what happrned but you do need to bemore aware about having too much to drink the next time around. And if you do meet said guy again, its okay to just be nice and courteous; or ignoring him like he's a stranger. Just don't bring the ons up.

 

I'm sorry to hear abbout your ex

 

taken all this on board especially the drink thing. thank you.

 

 

 

I'm sorry about your mother -- obviously you're having a pretty rough time of things right now. And the breakup just compounds it. I wouldn't beat yourself up over this, you sought out an outlet, but possibly not the healthiest one for you.

 

You didn't force this guy to have sex with you, so it would be a ridiculous notion for him to take some hypocritical high ground here. If you've already contacted him, leave be and don't make a big deal of it if you do run into him. My personal take is that if he was truly looking out for you, he would have taken you home, called you a cab, or allowed you to sleep it off. I'm not defaulting to the position that you've been victimized, but that he knew what he was getting involved in when you initiated and he didn't chose to refrain.

 

If you feel personal fallout about what occurred, implement those choices that you feel that you require in order to avoid this kind of situation again. Whether that is focusing on better, safer outlets for your stress, limiting your alcohol intake, or only socially drinking when you have some trusted friends around who are guaranteed to watch your back and get you home.

 

very wise words. and i do see your point on the not refraining thing. i really do. which is half the reason i left, id sobered up a bit and wasnt sure what was going on.

 

 

 

These kinds of embarrassing morning after regrets have happened to most all of us in life, probably every one of us past a certain age. Look at it as a learning experience to navigate your behavior with in the future. Don't devalue yourself or wallow in guilt, that tends to lead to a repeat and even more guilt. The only way we learn in life is by making mistakes and learning from them, so you are just an average human being, not any more flawed than you let yourself think you are. Try to think of the situation in a lighter, even humorous way and you will be fine in no time.

 

 

humorous way lol. strangely enough i read this, and there are humorous moments i remember. probably not funny to him lol. but nonetheless. glad to hear its not just me though thank you!

 

 

Too bad your friends left you when you clearly need someone. >

 

This guy doesn't sound all that bad. Yeah, he took you to his place and I'm sure the sex played a role in his decision - especially if he was drunk too. But he also treated you well this morning. If he was just into the sex he would have been anxious to see you go. He wanted you to stay.

 

It's too bad you didn't go back - unless of course you really don't like this guy after all? You kinda turned things around and made it seem like you only wanted him for sex and that it was a big mistake. Was it?

 

yeah i was thinking this after i got home and sobered up. but when id left his, i was still a bit drunk and feeling quite sick, and i didnt want to throw up at his place.

and ive also been bitten with guys ive dated in the past, and been made to feel like i shouldve just left. i dont know.

 

optimistic he might accept the apology but seems doubtful! i really didnt just want him for sex though, its terrible it looks that way :/

[Cypress25]

I can't believe your friends left you alone when you were drunk and upset. How did they expect you to get home? When I go out with a group of friends and there's alcohol involved, we're always looking out for each other. We don't just leave a drunk friend all by herself!

 

Anyway, this guy is in no position to judge you. He's the one who invited a drunk woman over to his place and proceeded to have sex with her even though she was clearly wasted. He knew what he was doing. You don't owe him an apology. A truly decent guy wouldn't have taken advantage of the situation like that.

[ShannonMI]

i dont make a habit of them....in fact this was my first one....but i just feel so awful about the whole thing.

 

i recently broke up with (for good) my ex of 6yrs and my moms just found out shes got cancer of the lymph nodes. i was quite upset but putting a brave face on to go out with friends, ended up drinking FAR too much. this guy came along after my friends had gone home, after noticing i was kinda being harassed by some other dude, offered me to come back to his to sober up a bit. sounds sordid but it was actually me that came on to him when we got there.

 

anyway, i was too drunk to be much of a good time to be honest. i dont know what had possessed me as im usually sensible. in the morning i felt truly awful in both senses. he did ask where i was going whilst i was dressing and i said i need to move my car because it was parked in a restricted area from the night before. he said move it to the parking lot behind his apartment. i said ill just go because youre falling asleep, he said you can wake me up when youre back. i said ok......and then didnt go back.

 

after sobering up at home about 10hours later, i felt so disgusted by the way ive acted towards this guy. i sent him a message on facebook just saying sorry about this morning & thanks for helping me last night. havent heard back, not that i expected to, but wtf must he think of me? was i an easy lay all along or what?

 

wont be doing it again in a hurry but just wanted someone elses opinion to be honest. i dread running into him again :/

Oh girl I relate to this so much. I had a bad breakup a year and a half ago and it's been tough. I have some major residual hurt from it. I've made some really stupid choices since then.

 

I got drunk about a week ago and slept with a guy. Total MISTAKE!!!! It was a first date and I drank way too much. Like you, I beat the living sh*t out of myself the next day. Thinking I was a total whore and just feeling terrible about myself. I also thought back on some other things I had done since my breakup and I realized I need to go talk to someone about it all. I'm acting out for one reason or another and it's not good. It's something that needs to be addressed. I've since stop beating myself up and stopped called myself a slut bag. Hahahahahahaha yeah I was pretty brutal with myself.

 

All I can say is, don't be too hard on yourself. We all make mistakes. Just try not to make a habit of such things if they don't make you feel good afterward. Now if you enjoy casual sex, then go for it!! You only live once. I, personally, don't want to have casual sex. It sounds like you don't particularly like it either. I know there are plenty of people out there that like it and don't think twice about it. I'm not that way. I'd rather have a meaningful relationship AND great sex with one person.

[ShannonMI]

I can't believe your friends left you alone when you were drunk and upset. How did they expect you to get home? When I go out with a group of friends and there's alcohol involved, we're always looking out for each other. We don't just leave a drunk friend all by herself!

 

Anyway, this guy is in no position to judge you. He's the one who invited a drunk woman over to his place and proceeded to have sex with her even though she was clearly wasted. He knew what he was doing. You don't owe him an apology. A truly decent guy wouldn't have taken advantage of the situation like that.

True dat!! I dealt with the same situation a week ago. Guy took full advantage of me when I was three sheets to the wind. He was sober. Not saying he raped me or anything, but a decent guy would have taken me home. I don't even want to see the guy again. That's how disgusted I am with the whole thing. I'm disgusted with my behavior and his.

 

My situation was also slightly different. I went out alone with this guy on a date. I had no girlfriends to protect me. My girls would have never allowed me to make such a stupid mistake.

[CocoaBrown]

i dont make a habit of them....in fact this was my first one....but i just feel so awful about the whole thing.

 

i recently broke up with (for good) my ex of 6yrs and my moms just found out shes got cancer of the lymph nodes. i was quite upset but putting a brave face on to go out with friends, ended up drinking FAR too much. this guy came along after my friends had gone home, after noticing i was kinda being harassed by some other dude, offered me to come back to his to sober up a bit. sounds sordid but it was actually me that came on to him when we got there.

 

anyway, i was too drunk to be much of a good time to be honest. i dont know what had possessed me as im usually sensible. in the morning i felt truly awful in both senses. he did ask where i was going whilst i was dressing and i said i need to move my car because it was parked in a restricted area from the night before. he said move it to the parking lot behind his apartment. i said ill just go because youre falling asleep, he said you can wake me up when youre back. i said ok......and then didnt go back.

 

after sobering up at home about 10hours later, i felt so disgusted by the way ive acted towards this guy. i sent him a message on facebook just saying sorry about this morning & thanks for helping me last night. havent heard back, not that i expected to, but wtf must he think of me? was i an easy lay all along or what?

 

wont be doing it again in a hurry but just wanted someone elses opinion to be honest. i dread running into him again :/

 

I'm so sorry about your mom. My dad had cancer and it was a very stressful and scary time. It's obvious your emotions are all over the place. Add to that a break up and you're finished.

 

I won't pretend to know how you feel, but I can only imagine. My thing is: WHY DID YOUR FRIENDS LEAVE YOU? They must not be close friends. First of all, I would have never left you alone in the first place when you're going through so much but especially not when you've been drinking. I don't have any advice about what to do about the guy, but try not to be too hard on yourself and I hope everything goes ok with your mom.

[louise_23]

I can't believe your friends left you alone when you were drunk and upset. How did they expect you to get home? When I go out with a group of friends and there's alcohol involved, we're always looking out for each other. We don't just leave a drunk friend all by herself!

 

Anyway, this guy is in no position to judge you. He's the one who invited a drunk woman over to his place and proceeded to have sex with her even though she was clearly wasted. He knew what he was doing. You don't owe him an apology. A truly decent guy wouldn't have taken advantage of the situation like that.

 

yeah im seeing it better today, completely agree.

 

Oh girl I relate to this so much. I had a bad breakup a year and a half ago and it's been tough. I have some major residual hurt from it. I've made some really stupid choices since then.

 

I got drunk about a week ago and slept with a guy. Total MISTAKE!!!! It was a first date and I drank way too much. Like you, I beat the living sh*t out of myself the next day. Thinking I was a total whore and just feeling terrible about myself. I also thought back on some other things I had done since my breakup and I realized I need to go talk to someone about it all. I'm acting out for one reason or another and it's not good. It's something that needs to be addressed. I've since stop beating myself up and stopped called myself a slut bag. Hahahahahahaha yeah I was pretty brutal with myself.

 

All I can say is, don't be too hard on yourself. We all make mistakes. Just try not to make a habit of such things if they don't make you feel good afterward. Now if you enjoy casual sex, then go for it!! You only live once. I, personally, don't want to have casual sex. It sounds like you don't particularly like it either. I know there are plenty of people out there that like it and don't think twice about it. I'm not that way. I'd rather have a meaningful relationship AND great sex with one person.

 

yeah i dont think im into casual. its just weird in the morning lol. glad im not alone, sorry to hear about your breakup. youve made me think about going and talking to someone properly about it before i do this kind of thing again, it seems like the kind of thing that could just spiral.

 

True dat!! I dealt with the same situation a week ago. Guy took full advantage of me when I was three sheets to the wind. He was sober. Not saying he raped me or anything, but a decent guy would have taken me home. I don't even want to see the guy again. That's how disgusted I am with the whole thing. I'm disgusted with my behavior and his.

 

My situation was also slightly different. I went out alone with this guy on a date. I had no girlfriends to protect me. My girls would have never allowed me to make such a stupid mistake.

 

thats horrible, but the more i think about this dude, the more i think he was sober. thats kinda creepy to me.

 

 

I'm so sorry about your mom. My dad had cancer and it was a very stressful and scary time. It's obvious your emotions are all over the place. Add to that a break up and you're finished.

 

I won't pretend to know how you feel, but I can only imagine. My thing is: WHY DID YOUR FRIENDS LEAVE YOU? They must not be close friends. First of all, I would have never left you alone in the first place when you're going through so much but especially not when you've been drinking. I don't have any advice about what to do about the guy, but try not to be too hard on yourself and I hope everything goes ok with your mom.

 

 

theyre not close friends, theyre pretty much drinking friends. and im older than most of them (only by a couple of year but god that sounds terrible) so i can see in a way why theyd leave me if i said i was fine. i generally dont stay out longer than them, im usually the first home, so its kind of a shame no one noticed anything was amiss.

 

so sorry about your dad, its such a horrible thing to go through. ive dealt with loads of rubbish in my life but the cancer things really sent me over the edge.

[ShannonMI]

yeah im seeing it better today, completely agree.

 

 

 

yeah i dont think im into casual. its just weird in the morning lol. glad im not alone, sorry to hear about your breakup. youve made me think about going and talking to someone properly about it before i do this kind of thing again, it seems like the kind of thing that could just spiral.

 

 

 

thats horrible, but the more i think about this dude, the more i think he was sober. thats kinda creepy to me.

 

 

 

 

 

theyre not close friends, theyre pretty much drinking friends. and im older than most of them (only by a couple of year but god that sounds terrible) so i can see in a way why theyd leave me if i said i was fine. i generally dont stay out longer than them, im usually the first home, so its kind of a shame no one noticed anything was amiss.

 

so sorry about your dad, its such a horrible thing to go through. ive dealt with loads of rubbish in my life but the cancer things really sent me over the edge.

It is something that could spiral. Although you seem to realize it's not something you want to continue to do, so you wont probably find yourself in that postition again. I could be wrong though. It took me a few casual encounters to hit rock bottom and go "wait a second, I don't want to keep doing this and there is something emotionally going on with me." It sounds like after one mistake, you've wised up. Good for you.

 

Talking to someone would probably be a good idea. You are going through A LOT right now. With the break up and your mom being sick. What is so eerie to me is that my dad was sick with Mantle Cell Lymphoma when I was dealing with my breakup. It's crazy how similar our stories are. My dad is currently cancer free. Thank the Lord because he was considered fatal. He made a full recovery. I hope your mom does as well.

 

No matter what, be nice to yourself. You are going through a really bad time. Imagine if a friend of yours was going through this. You'd be supportive and kind, would you not? So do the same thing for yourself.

[dasein]

thats horrible, but the more i think about this dude, the more i think he was sober. thats kinda creepy to me.

 

But according to you, you were too drunk to accurately assess that. He could have been sober, mildly buzzed, nearly as drunk as you but handling it better. You don't know. You also came onto him, men don't have to be a total saint to not be "creepy." Nothing you post suggest the guy did anything wrong, and you will be better off just owning your behavior and taking full responsibility for it instead of trying to shift blame to him.

 

Don't fall into the habit of certain female posters on LS of trying to blame every bad or questionable thing that happens to them in life on a man or men generally. Doing so retards character development (not directed at Shannon's situation, which sounds different, like the guy set out with the intent to get her drunk and take advantage).

Edited December 16, 2011 by dasein

[louise_23]

It is something that could spiral. Although you seem to realize it's not something you want to continue to do, so you wont probably find yourself in that postition again. I could be wrong though. It took me a few casual encounters to hit rock bottom and go "wait a second, I don't want to keep doing this and there is something emotionally going on with me." It sounds like after one mistake, you've wised up. Good for you.

 

Talking to someone would probably be a good idea. You are going through A LOT right now. With the break up and your mom being sick. What is so eerie to me is that my dad was sick with Mantle Cell Lymphoma when I was dealing with my breakup. It's crazy how similar our stories are. My dad is currently cancer free. Thank the Lord because he was considered fatal. He made a full recovery. I hope your mom does as well.

 

No matter what, be nice to yourself. You are going through a really bad time. Imagine if a friend of yours was going through this. You'd be supportive and kind, would you not? So do the same thing for yourself.

 

wow thats so strange about your dad. wow. i am so glad he's pulled through! its inspiring to know.

 

and yeah i would support a friend, thats a great way of looking at it. im just mortified about the whole thing! itll pass i suppose eh?

 

 

But according to you, you were too drunk to accurately assess that. He could have been sober, mildly buzzed, nearly as drunk as you but handling it better. You don't know. You also came onto him, men don't have to be a total saint to not be "creepy." Nothing you post suggest the guy did anything wrong, and you will be better off just owning your behavior and taking full responsibility for it instead of trying to shift blame to him.

 

Don't fall into the habit of certain female posters on LS of trying to blame every bad or questionable thing that happens to them in life on a man or men generally. Doing so retards character development (not directed at Shannon's situation, which sounds different, like the guy set out with the intent to get her drunk and take advantage).

 

drop the attitude and dont put words in my mouth. making **** up retards character development. when did i shift blame? i just said the more i think about it the more it appears he was sober. i wont go into details because its boring. and it is a creepy suggestion, i didnt say HE HIMSELF was creepy. it is totally my fault for acting the way i did, i know that, and im mortified about the whole experience.and no im not blaming any other guy for 'every bad or questionable thing that happens' to me. wtf? i blame myself, which is the whole reason i posted!!!!!!

[dasein]

drop the attitude...

 

I didn't make anything up, your words and the intent behind "creepy" were more than crystal clear in your post for all to read. NM, subtext here is becoming quite apparent.

[ShannonMI]

But according to you, you were too drunk to accurately assess that. He could have been sober, mildly buzzed, nearly as drunk as you but handling it better. You don't know. You also came onto him, men don't have to be a total saint to not be "creepy." Nothing you post suggest the guy did anything wrong, and you will be better off just owning your behavior and taking full responsibility for it instead of trying to shift blame to him.

 

Don't fall into the habit of certain female posters on LS of trying to blame every bad or questionable thing that happens to them in life on a man or men generally. Doing so retards character development (not directed at Shannon's situation, which sounds different, like the guy set out with the intent to get her drunk and take advantage).

A little harsh, don't you think? She has taken blame for her actions. She's even considering talking to someone about her actions. Where did she say it was the guy's fault? She just said he may have been sober and if that was the case then that's a bit creepy. She didn't say the guy raped her or anything. Some men do love to take advantage of women that are incapacitate. All you have to do is watch an episode of Jersey Shore to see that getting a chick wasted is a sure way to get her to be DTF. Not all men are that way, but some are. Sorry if that bothers you.

 

She obviously feels badly about herself and is going through a really tough time. With her mother being sick and all of that. No need to brow beat her, is there? Be nice please.

[louise_23]

I didn't make anything up, your words and the intent behind "creepy" were more than crystal clear in your post for all to read. NM, subtext here is becoming quite apparent.

 

 

 

isnt it just.

[louise_23]

A little harsh, don't you think? She has taken blame for her actions. She's even considering talking to someone about her actions. Where did she say it was the guy's fault? She just said he may have been sober and if that was the case then that's a bit creepy. She didn't say the guy raped her or anything. Some men do love to take advantage of women that are incapacitate. All you have to do is watch an episode of Jersey Shore to see that getting a chick wasted is a sure way to get her to be DTF. Not all men are that way, but some are. Sorry if that bothers you.

 

She obviously feels badly about herself and is going through a really tough time. With her mother being sick and all of that. No need to brow beat her, is there? Be nice please.

 

 

thank you.

[ShannonMI]

thank you.

No problem, girl;)

[Nexus One]

thank you.

 

No problem, girl;)

 

 

http://bit.ly/segkSo

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

.

Edited December 16, 2011 by Nexus One

[kaylan]

I can't believe your friends left you alone when you were drunk and upset. How did they expect you to get home? When I go out with a group of friends and there's alcohol involved, we're always looking out for each other. We don't just leave a drunk friend all by herself!

 

Anyway, this guy is in no position to judge you. He's the one who invited a drunk woman over to his place and proceeded to have sex with her even though she was clearly wasted. He knew what he was doing. You don't owe him an apology. A truly decent guy wouldn't have taken advantage of the situation like that.

 

 

True dat!! I dealt with the same situation a week ago. Guy took full advantage of me when I was three sheets to the wind. He was sober. Not saying he raped me or anything, but a decent guy would have taken me home. I don't even want to see the guy again. That's how disgusted I am with the whole thing. I'm disgusted with my behavior and his.

 

My situation was also slightly different. I went out alone with this guy on a date. I had no girlfriends to protect me. My girls would have never allowed me to make such a stupid mistake.

But according to you, you were too drunk to accurately assess that. He could have been sober, mildly buzzed, nearly as drunk as you but handling it better. You don't know. You also came onto him, men don't have to be a total saint to not be "creepy." Nothing you post suggest the guy did anything wrong, and you will be better off just owning your behavior and taking full responsibility for it instead of trying to shift blame to him.

 

Don't fall into the habit of certain female posters on LS of trying to blame every bad or questionable thing that happens to them in life on a man or men generally. Doing so retards character development (not directed at Shannon's situation, which sounds different, like the guy set out with the intent to get her drunk and take advantage).

 

A little harsh, don't you think? She has taken blame for her actions. She's even considering talking to someone about her actions. Where did she say it was the guy's fault? She just said he may have been sober and if that was the case then that's a bit creepy. She didn't say the guy raped her or anything. Some men do love to take advantage of women that are incapacitate. All you have to do is watch an episode of Jersey Shore to see that getting a chick wasted is a sure way to get her to be DTF. Not all men are that way, but some are. Sorry if that bothers you.

 

She obviously feels badly about herself and is going through a really tough time. With her mother being sick and all of that. No need to brow beat her, is there? Be nice please.

 

Look at that sequence of posts. It definitely does seem like you were implying agreement with what Cypress said, hence Dasein's response.

 

I get sick of this attitude myself on the forum and in real life. If women get themselves into these drunk situations, its her fault as much as the guys unless its super obvious that he was taking advantage of a drunk or incapacitated woman. She cant even truly tell us how drunk he was or not. And to cap it off, the guy wanted her to stay and she drove home still drunk-ish? Come on now...I get shes going through some stuff, but dont do something that can potentially hurt/kill yourself or others.

 

And to clue you folks in...Ive had women try and hook up with me when I was plastered and they werent that drunk....almost had sex with them those couple times but stopped it before it progressed past foreplay.

 

Hell Ive even been just tipsy and the girl was pretty dang drunk and she would barely take no for an answer. But I think she knew what she was doing because this particular gal loved to hook up with me after she had a drink or few and then always blame it on the alcohol. As if she was too scared to just come on to me sober.

 

Sure these situations are dwarfed in frequency by the amount of times that guys pull that crap on women...but im just saying it happens...and women usually expect me to go along with it because Im a guy...Apparently we are never supposed to turn down sex...and god forbid we do....women always get WAY insecure afterwords...jeez

Edited December 16, 2011 by kaylan

[louise_23]

Look at that sequence of posts. It definitely does seem like you were implying agreement with what Cypress said, hence Dasein's response.

 

I get sick of this attitude myself on the forum and in real life. If women get themselves into these drunk situations, its her fault as much as the guys unless its super obvious that he was taking advantage of a drunk or incapacitated woman. She cant even truly tell us how drunk he was or not. And to cap it off, the guy wanted her to stay and she drove home still drunk-ish? Come on now...I get shes going through some stuff, but dont do something that can potentially hurt/kill yourself or others.

 

And to clue you folks in...Ive had women try and hook up with me when I was plastered and they werent that drunk....almost had sex with them those couple times but stopped it before it progressed past foreplay.

 

Hell Ive even been just tipsy and the girl was pretty dang drunk and she would barely take no for an answer. But I think she knew what she was doing because this particular gal loved to hook up with me after she had a drink or few and then always blame it on the alcohol. As if she was too scared to just come on to me sober.

 

Sure these situations are dwarfed in frequency by the amount of times that guys pull that crap on women...but im just saying it happens...and women usually expect me to go along with it because Im a guy...Apparently we are never supposed to turn down sex...and god forbid we do....women always get WAY insecure afterwords...jeez

 

well sure, i could pick and choose previous posts to agree with whatever point im trying to make too. not the full picture youve got there is it?

 

 

 

http://bit.ly/segkSo

 

 

 

.

 

lol, brilliant.

[kaylan]

Its not picking and choosing. I simply grabbed the posts from a particular sub-convo. They each quoted and/or replied to one another so I did not pick and choose. I placed each piece of text in proper sequence.

 

My point was also that noone has the full picture because the OP was hammered and not even super sure what state of mind the guy was in. She just seemed to speculate about where she thought his mind MIGHT of been at.

 

How about you reply with a well formed retort instead of trying to easily dismiss my reply. That would be greatly appreciated

Edited December 16, 2011 by kaylan

[Wolf18]

Yeah people have to take responsibility for their actions.

 

I've gone out and gotten drunk then gotten into mischief and trouble, but I'm not going to blame the other parties for my own actions. One time I got drunk and took an ecstacy pill a friend of mine had (probably wouldn't have done it without booze lowering my inhibitions), I was blown away by it and the come down was horrible, but guess what? I'm not going to get mad at my friend for giving it to me.

 

A guy you just met has no obligation to you, not anymore than you have to him. I wouldn't take advantage of a drunk girl if I was sober (even with my current extreme desperation ) because I'm not into getting my dick puked on (ok maybe I am but alcoholic puke is usually more acidic), but thats just something I do out of the kindness of my heart, doesn't mean anybody else owes you that.

[ShannonMI]

Yeah people have to take responsibility for their actions.

 

I've gone out and gotten drunk then gotten into mischief and trouble, but I'm not going to blame the other parties for my own actions. One time I got drunk and took an ecstacy pill a friend of mine had (probably wouldn't have done it without booze lowering my inhibitions), I was blown away by it and the come down was horrible, but guess what? I'm not going to get mad at my friend for giving it to me.

 

A guy you just met has no obligation to you, not anymore than you have to him. I wouldn't take advantage of a drunk girl if I was sober (even with my current extreme desperation ) because I'm not into getting my dick puked on (ok maybe I am but alcoholic puke is usually more acidic), but thats just something I do out of the kindness of my heart, doesn't mean anybody else owes you that.

Sigh..... you're such a good guy Wolfie. Why don't the girls see it? Yes, taking advantage of a drunk girl is not good. There are a lot of men who would LOVE to get a girl plastered and take her to pound town. The fact that you wouldn't makes me heart you even more:love:

 

The guys don't owe us anything. You are right. But a little respect and/or kindness would be nice. How about when a girl is stumbling and bumbling from too much wine and you are stone cold sober, putting her in your car and driving her home? That is what the guy I was with should have done. He didn't though. I remember him being on his phone at one point in the night when I was soooooo f*cked up, texting his buddy "I have a live one". If I was sober, I would have been so disgusted. Being in my polluted state of mind, I over looked it. I don't even want to see the dude again and with good reason. I know I'm fully responsible for my actions. Getting wasted with a complete stranger is an action I should not have taken, but he was the sober one. The one of sound mind. He should have been more respectful of me. Oh well. What's done is done and I'm not going to beat myself up over it.

Edited December 16, 2011 by ShannonMI