Stilnaught Posted December 17, 2011 Share Posted December 17, 2011 (edited) I've been going to student parties for several years now, and lately, i've been doing a silly experiment. Just because i can. We've got a tradition, a series of songs when everybody stands in a circle, except a couple of people inside, who dance around, until they pick someone of the other sex standing in the circle around them, give them 3 kisses (on the cheeks, usually ) and switch places. Most people deplete their social circle first, and then "have to" pick strangers. Rather funny, and often a most succesful way of getting to know new people. I've been doing this the natural way for several years, until i thought of something. Sometimes, i would just stand there with a blank face, looking around a bit. And on other times, i started smiling. Not a fake smile, but thinking of something happy, looking at your friends & enjoying how happy they seem/how they are having fun, ... So that i would stand there, with a "happy smile", & looking at the women passing by. The attempts have been "so successful" that it is starting to affect my mind. Is that really the difference it can make? I can imagine that a stranger prefers a smiling person to a numb one, but they also seem to "open up" easier, stay for a chat if you're around, smile back at you a few hours later .... I'm a noob when it comes to seduicing, most likely since i hate players & playing. I just like to discover a girl, and slowly dig into her mind and soul to see what's in there. Kind of a nice guy i guess. But is putting a happy facade, or even better: automatically getting one by having a positive mindset, really thàt life-changing? Edited December 17, 2011 by Stilnaught Link to post Share on other sites
Seneca Posted December 17, 2011 Share Posted December 17, 2011 I've tried the "Smiling" experiment myself. And it is true. People do open up a lot more when you smile at them. You seem to be on the right path with learning how to seduce girls. It's all about being curious about her. And yes having a positive mindset really is life changing! There are many case stories throughout the history of mankind to prove it. Link to post Share on other sites
Eve Posted December 17, 2011 Share Posted December 17, 2011 I think smiling is really important and is something I am attracted to in people as I am a smiler by nature. I reckon smiling or lack of smiling kind of gives an insight into who a person is. Not sure it is possble to really fake a smile. I am a pretty happy person too, which probably does correlate. So yeah, I go with the idea that smiling can change ones internal dialogue and thus impact interactions. Non smilers I see as not being very open. I prefer open personalities who are interested in interpersonal relationships. Overall, in real life people will trust me very easily and I do think there is a link to my tendancy to smile and success in my relationships. My Hubby says that he could hear my smile when we first talked and is one of the things he always compliments me on and finds comfort in. He has a beautiful smile too. Gosh he is SO adorable! Take care, Eve x Link to post Share on other sites
neowulf Posted December 17, 2011 Share Posted December 17, 2011 Smiling is one of the earliest and most universal human behaviours in our species. We *all* smile, no matter where we're from and it sends a very powerful, subconscious message to those who see it. Happy, friendly, approachable. Those are the feelings people get when someone gives them a warm, beaming smile. Contrast that with a blank expression, when suddenly people either think you're "not happy", or are put off because they have no idea what you're feeling/thinking. I tend to have mastered the "Blank expression" and it works perfectly to have people a) fail to notice you or b) leave you alone. Neither of these is terribly useful for attracting the opposite sex however Link to post Share on other sites
florence of suburbia Posted December 17, 2011 Share Posted December 17, 2011 I got my teeth fixed a couple of years back and started smiling more as a result. Now I get more hellos, second looks, and smiles in return than I ever did before. Link to post Share on other sites
solobeary Posted December 20, 2011 Share Posted December 20, 2011 The only "pick-up line" that I've ever responded to/liked was when a guy says something genuine-sounding about my smile. It's happened twice now. The first time I was dancing and a guy came up to me on the dance floor and said in a really sweet way something like "you look really happy, you have a lovely smile, want to dance with me?". And I was like "you're right, I am happy". Another time a guy sat down next to me and said "you have the biggest smile of the whole table so I'll sit here". Nothing happened with either of them, the first I was in a relationship, the second turned out to be a friends' ex. But my point is smiling is great when you're genuine, and someone else genuinely recognises that Link to post Share on other sites
oldguy Posted December 20, 2011 Share Posted December 20, 2011 The attempts have been "so successful" that it is starting to affect my mind. Is that really the difference it can make? I can imagine that a stranger prefers a smiling person to a numb one, but they also seem to "open up" easier, stay for a chat if you're around, smile back at you a few hours later .... What is interesting is that you noticed how smiling effects you also, how it made you feel better. I'm a true believer that a smile works its way in Link to post Share on other sites
oldguy Posted December 20, 2011 Share Posted December 20, 2011 If you like social experiments join an online social group calling yourself something like, I don't know; 'oldguy', and observe how much differently others interact with you than when you where... dave or paul It's very interesting. Link to post Share on other sites
unknownsources Posted December 20, 2011 Share Posted December 20, 2011 ... The attempts have been "so successful" that it is starting to affect my mind. Is that really the difference it can make? I can imagine that a stranger prefers a smiling person to a numb one, but they also seem to "open up" easier, stay for a chat if you're around, smile back at you a few hours later .... I'm a noob when it comes to seduicing, most likely since i hate players & playing. I just like to discover a girl, and slowly dig into her mind and soul to see what's in there. Kind of a nice guy i guess. But is putting a happy facade, or even better: automatically getting one by having a positive mindset, really thàt life-changing? I had a girl I was dating in high school tell me I scared other girls off (literally, scared). I thought about it some and realized it's just because my face is naturally a little less "happy" I suppose. My eyelids kind of droop a bit and I don't really sit there with a smile on my face too often, looking in the mirror I look unhappy on most occasions, even if I'm having a great day. I guess if I was a girl and saw a very tall guy who looked unhappy or annoyed I wouldn't be so inclined to hang out with him. So I've started trying to smile at everybody I meet and/or make eye contact with and just brighten myself up overall. Another thing was the teeth. I've had some not-so-attractive teeth for a while but recently I started really taking care of my teeth. Now, I just have to tell myself "you don't have to be afraid to smile" and it helps to loosen me up a bit. Since I like to joke around a bit, it's nice to not be afraid to smile Link to post Share on other sites
Eve Posted December 21, 2011 Share Posted December 21, 2011 If you like social experiments join an online social group calling yourself something like, I don't know; 'oldguy', and observe how much differently others interact with you than when you where... dave or paul It's very interesting. Well, I love you Oldguy. This should be enough, so stop moaning. Smile! Take care, Eve x Link to post Share on other sites
oldguy Posted December 21, 2011 Share Posted December 21, 2011 Well, I love you Oldguy. This should be enough, so stop moaning. Smile! Take care, Eve x Ah shucks:o I wasn't complaining, I dropped the other sign-on some time ago Link to post Share on other sites
Eve Posted December 22, 2011 Share Posted December 22, 2011 Ah shucks:o I wasn't complaining, I dropped the other sign-on some time ago As long as we have that sorted out, lol. I don't follow peoples change of names and logos much, so just know you as the ever wise 'Oldguy' - the one who is always ready to share a bit of common sense which brings folks back to the human problem of facing our unshakable sameness. Take care, Eve x Link to post Share on other sites
oldguy Posted December 23, 2011 Share Posted December 23, 2011 thank you... I think Link to post Share on other sites
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