foolishlover Posted December 17, 2011 Share Posted December 17, 2011 One of the main reasons that my ex and I broke up was because he was flirtatious with other people when we went to clubs and also enjoyed going to clubs by himself. We broke up 3 weeks ago and had NC since. He broke my heart because he had all the typical syndromes of GIGS. He called me tonight cause he needed me to pick him up. He hurt himself quite badly and was crying in shock and needed to get home and had no one else to call. So ofcourse I bolted out and drove straight to him cause I was worried and wanted to know he was ok. I picked him up in the wee hours of the morning, which turned out that he was at his favourite club (no surprise really). He was drunk and hurt himself, with blood everywhere. It was hard for me because I did not want to break NC. Im trying to heal, but i cant not respond to him when he is hurt and needs help. I guess seeing him made it hard but at the same time, confirmed that the reasons I left were legitimate. * Im still crying over him every night, staying at home and mourning yet he is out every friday and saturday night clubbing and enjoying his new found bachelorhood. This hurts as it makes the relationship of 2 years seem so fickle and disposable. It also made me realise that he will never change and had I stayed with him, the problems of him clubbing and flirting would have remained. * He was extremely worried about any potential scarring on the face. Not the wound itself or any other wound on his body, just the scarring on the face. Kinda reiterated how arrogant he got before the break up. Another reason we broke up was that he always made me feel insecure by saying that he can easily pick up anyone he wanted while i could never pick up. This also showed that he is still this self loving, arrogant person. * He didnt seem to appreciate the help I gave him. I just felt he wanted to get home, have it fixed and then off i go. I dont know how to feel now. Breaking NC was hard cause its true, it brings you back to square one. But also seeing him confirmed that he isnt the man i fell in love with and the reasons we broke up are glaringly obvious and still present. It still hurts though. Opinions and comments much appreciated. Link to post Share on other sites
smokey bear Posted December 17, 2011 Share Posted December 17, 2011 Well if you think it is gigs the ego manic him wont ware off for a few months, how long have you been split up? Link to post Share on other sites
smokey bear Posted December 17, 2011 Share Posted December 17, 2011 Also i would like to point out that he could have called a taxi instead..... Link to post Share on other sites
cerridwen Posted December 17, 2011 Share Posted December 17, 2011 He wouldn't have been able to call if you changed your number. Think about doing it. It saves heartache. Link to post Share on other sites
Author foolishlover Posted December 17, 2011 Author Share Posted December 17, 2011 we split up for 3 weeks and im sure his gigs hasnt worn off yet. He didnt sound like he wanted me back anyway, just wanted my help cause he had no one else to call and cause he was embarrassed about how he hurt himself. He didnt call a taxi cause he had blood all over him and also felt embarrassed to get in a taxi like that. Link to post Share on other sites
Sugarkane Posted December 17, 2011 Share Posted December 17, 2011 Foolish- Maybe he shouldve thought of the consequences before ge bloodied his face in a club? I would've told him where to go. What an Ahole. Link to post Share on other sites
Sugarkane Posted December 17, 2011 Share Posted December 17, 2011 Pity he didn't ruin his face. Maybe he would've changed and become a better person. Link to post Share on other sites
J0N Posted December 19, 2011 Share Posted December 19, 2011 Even though your ex seems like a total turkey, you did the right thing. Even though I haven't spoken to my ex in over a year, if she was stranded and called me for help I would do it. It would be hard to see her, but I still care enough to help. I would explain to him though that you want space, and that you're not a taxi service. Then go back to NC. Your just in the beginning stages of a long road to recovery (sorry to be blunt, I just think its best to be honest). Link to post Share on other sites
betterdeal Posted December 19, 2011 Share Posted December 19, 2011 As cerridwen suggested, why not change your number and let the emergency services deal with emergencies? Link to post Share on other sites
YuGr. Posted December 19, 2011 Share Posted December 19, 2011 Personally I don't think he had any rights to call you for help. And you had no obligations to help him. The relationship itself is over, it's NC time and that's for best or worse. He needs to move on and take care of himself, you're not his mother who should be caring for him anymore. Maybe brutal but that's just my 2cents. Also doesn't help that from what I make from you're post that he's an a-hole to begin with. Link to post Share on other sites
Sugarkane Posted December 19, 2011 Share Posted December 19, 2011 If I was you I wouldn't gave helped him at all. He knew he could use you. Maybe he should've phoned one of his friends at the club instead? Since they're so important to this jerk Link to post Share on other sites
Thieves Posted December 20, 2011 Share Posted December 20, 2011 I dont know how to feel now. Breaking NC was hard cause its true, it brings you back to square one. But also seeing him confirmed that he isnt the man i fell in love with and the reasons we broke up are glaringly obvious and still present. It still hurts though. Opinions and comments much appreciated. Foolish, this is a bit crazy to me. Think about how the two of you seem to be moving on, and be weary of comparing yourself to him when it comes to behavior/healing after the break-up. Throughout your entire story, please do not forget the incredible fact that just three weeks after you broke up, you picked him up in the middle of the night -- not only that, but whilst he was drunk, physically hurt, and with a bloody face. Would you have felt as insecure or inferior about the situation if you had picked him up just the same, at night, yet drunk and physically hurt on the side of an unknown street in the middle of nowhere? Don't let the 'attractive surroundings' necessarily give you the wrong impression. So yes, you may have picked him up at his 'favorite club' where he could've been doing hell knows what, but in my opinion... I'm not convinced that you're so much worse off than him. Because having read what you've written about this and the circumstances that he found himself in when he called you, it doesn't in any way suggest to me that he is having a better or easier time moving on. Rather, it still suggests a lot of immaturity on his part. And honestly, hand to my heart, if I had to choose between the two of your situations? I'd rather be witnessed by an ex crying in my room alone in the dead of the night than to be caught drunk at a club with a bloody face, because he was right: it is embarrassing, and it is ridiculous. But. That being said, I probably would've done the same thing... once. Just like you did this time. But one time is one too much. You've shown now that you still care for him, and that your heart is morally in the right place. Someone you cared for really needed help, and you answered. Take pride in that, and then shake some sense into yourself. This is still your ex here, Foolish, and you've learned a lesson here. You can't let him keep calling you like that anymore, as NC means NC. No Contact. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts