smokey bear Posted December 17, 2011 Share Posted December 17, 2011 Hi, i heard that you still browse the forums sometimes, ive been reading your gigs thread for the first time today. A lot of people sent you private messages and to look at their posts, did any of them stick with you to the end to a point where the ex came back? I want to 100% believe this gigs theory, i put a lot of effort into undersanding it but honestly do you truly believe it is legit and follows the pattern of stages? After all your experience do you have any answers for the following question.... What determines how long the gigs lasts? For me i was seperated 8 months, all in all i feel gigs lasted 1 year 3 months so why was it possible for me to go through some of my gigs with my ex? If Wilson could be so kind to post a response if you see this and send one. Link to post Share on other sites
Author smokey bear Posted December 17, 2011 Author Share Posted December 17, 2011 Well ive just finished reading the whole thread and it seems Wilson you took on the torch bearer roll, so i would like to hear your response to the above questions too Link to post Share on other sites
Surfer Girl Posted December 18, 2011 Share Posted December 18, 2011 Smokey Bear You are so set into gigs rebound theory....I have a story for you.... It took me a year to get over a long term relationship....when I met the current ex....we took it slow for two months and then fell hard and fast..I lived with him for two months... When we relaized it was to fast to soon we decided to live in separate households... I knew he was divorced for some time and was totally over his ex wife.... What I did not know was he had a relationship in between which he failed to talk about until she came knocking on the door...I could hear her saying how she had fell in Love with him and how he wanted to marry her and who was he with now.... She finally left and I confronted him... He told me he had broken up with her right before he met me and thought she had a boyfriend.... Red flag.. Long story short...I was a rebound.... We did get back together it was on and off between her and me....he finally left her for good...we lasted 6 months after...he lost his feelings for me....and.we finally broke up for good He met someone 4 months later ...lived with her and broke up 2months later. He called me after the breakup...it was was at the 6 month mark.... I did not want to be a rebound for her and did not respond....until later by then it was to late he had moved on He met and lived with someone a month later for 3 months broke up and is now with the first girl he broke up with after me....he has never given himself time to grieve we were together on and off for 8 years....I have not dated since...I truly believe...I am now at a point to date after the new year....and he will continue to attach himself to rebounds thAt will fail... He loves the honeymoon stage and is not capable of a mature relationship Link to post Share on other sites
yzyzyz325 Posted December 18, 2011 Share Posted December 18, 2011 Um... GIGS... I dont know if I shall believe it or not. To me, gigs is another word of being immature. Ppl dont know how to treasure or appreciate what they have, always think there are better things outside that they can get, dont want to take responsibility, not ready for a commitment or to be settled,etc... that's the cause of gigs. Personal opinion 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author smokey bear Posted December 18, 2011 Author Share Posted December 18, 2011 What is your point behind this? I know how rebounds work. Im asking if Homebrew really believes the gigs theory over a 50% accuracy rate. This post however would suit my " have any rebound/ gigs people got second chances" thread and yes i do a lot of research into gigs, my ex's and my own, for a reason, im a sufferer of gigs, i had it myself, i feel deep within myself it may come back and i want to understand it as much as possible so i dont repeat the same mistakes, recognise the warning signs etc and also for help in my current situation with my ex because the pattern of gigs has become so freakingly common. Link to post Share on other sites
wilsonx Posted December 18, 2011 Share Posted December 18, 2011 Um... GIGS... I dont know if I shall believe it or not. To me, gigs is another word of being immature. Ppl dont know how to treasure or appreciate what they have, always think there are better things outside that they can get, dont want to take responsibility, not ready for a commitment or to be settled,etc... that's the cause of gigs. Personal opinion Hahaha, I can agree with this 100% Link to post Share on other sites
Author smokey bear Posted December 18, 2011 Author Share Posted December 18, 2011 Um... GIGS... I dont know if I shall believe it or not. To me, gigs is another word of being immature. Ppl dont know how to treasure or appreciate what they have, always think there are better things outside that they can get, dont want to take responsibility, not ready for a commitment or to be settled,etc... that's the cause of gigs. Personal opinion Yes all correct, its not what im asking, Homebrew done a lot of research on it, thinks it follows a pattern, im asking after reading and hearing of so many stories and his own experiences if he truly wholehearted believes that gigs follows a certain pattern and stages without variation. Link to post Share on other sites
Author smokey bear Posted December 18, 2011 Author Share Posted December 18, 2011 Hahaha, I can agree with this 100% Well Wilson your the new GIGS torch bearer, you took on the homwbrew thread, you may be able to answer the question, although you have been in a "dont care" mood recently and may not give an accurate answer judged on your mood today lol Link to post Share on other sites
Author smokey bear Posted December 18, 2011 Author Share Posted December 18, 2011 Oh and noone seems to be able to answer the question of what determines the length of gigs, why is it 6 months for some, 2 years for others Link to post Share on other sites
wilsonx Posted December 18, 2011 Share Posted December 18, 2011 Logic Dictates..... Because everyone is different. It lasts longer for guys because generally speaking, guys dont give a **** anyways Link to post Share on other sites
Author smokey bear Posted December 18, 2011 Author Share Posted December 18, 2011 Well using logic, reading all the posts, its seems the dumpers do return in these cases. So do you agree logically that yes it follows a pattern and stages ultimately with the same end result of the ex returning? Link to post Share on other sites
Sugarkane Posted December 18, 2011 Share Posted December 18, 2011 Um... GIGS... I dont know if I shall believe it or not. To me, gigs is another word of being immature. Ppl dont know how to treasure or appreciate what they have, always think there are better things outside that they can get, dont want to take responsibility, not ready for a commitment or to be settled,etc... that's the cause of gigs. Personal opinion I second that. Link to post Share on other sites
Dust Posted December 18, 2011 Share Posted December 18, 2011 GIGS tries to simplify a lot of different things into one catchy Grass is green theory. It doesn't hold true. Heres what I truely feel every one who comes to this site asking for advice already knows exactly what they need to do to either solve their problem or get on the path to solving it. Not always so easy to execute that takes energy. Link to post Share on other sites
leoc1973 Posted December 18, 2011 Share Posted December 18, 2011 I was at a friends house yesterday and had some time to kill. I have been reading a lot on gigs lately. Although not as much as you but I have been pretty much consuming every piece of literature I could get my hands on. I am also hoping that my ex has GIGS. Anyways while I was reading yesterday I stumbled onto something that says there was some kind of study done. At Duke or Yale or Harvard, I forget which. This piece of literature stated that the consequence part of the brain isn't completely developed in humans till around the age of 25. I immediately started thinking that if you put 2 and 2 together you might come up with the same kind of idea as I did. Usually a Gigs dumper is between 18 and 25... they are usually in a great relationship. yada yada yada... I am thinking maybe they dump you and then at around the age of 25 when the consequence part of the brain does completely develope thats when it "hits" them. I was wondering how old you were when it "hit"you? Maybe it has nothing to do with this "syndrome" but more to do with your brain growing up and you saying holy Crap what did I do? I will keep looking for that study I read but I don't seem to be able to find it. Thoughts??? Link to post Share on other sites
Author smokey bear Posted December 18, 2011 Author Share Posted December 18, 2011 I was at a friends house yesterday and had some time to kill. I have been reading a lot on gigs lately. Although not as much as you but I have been pretty much consuming every piece of literature I could get my hands on. I am also hoping that my ex has GIGS. Anyways while I was reading yesterday I stumbled onto something that says there was some kind of study done. At Duke or Yale or Harvard, I forget which. This piece of literature stated that the consequence part of the brain isn't completely developed in humans till around the age of 25. I immediately started thinking that if you put 2 and 2 together you might come up with the same kind of idea as I did. Usually a Gigs dumper is between 18 and 25... they are usually in a great relationship. yada yada yada... I am thinking maybe they dump you and then at around the age of 25 when the consequence part of the brain does completely develope thats when it "hits" them. I was wondering how old you were when it "hit"you? Maybe it has nothing to do with this "syndrome" but more to do with your brain growing up and you saying holy Crap what did I do? I will keep looking for that study I read but I don't seem to be able to find it. Thoughts??? I would like to hear that report, I was 24, my gigs ended 2 months before my 25th birthday, so you think the length of gigs has to do with age, corresponding with emotional maturity? Link to post Share on other sites
Author smokey bear Posted December 18, 2011 Author Share Posted December 18, 2011 I was at a friends house yesterday and had some time to kill. I have been reading a lot on gigs lately. Although not as much as you but I have been pretty much consuming every piece of literature I could get my hands on. I am also hoping that my ex has GIGS. Anyways while I was reading yesterday I stumbled onto something that says there was some kind of study done. At Duke or Yale or Harvard, I forget which. This piece of literature stated that the consequence part of the brain isn't completely developed in humans till around the age of 25. I immediately started thinking that if you put 2 and 2 together you might come up with the same kind of idea as I did. Usually a Gigs dumper is between 18 and 25... they are usually in a great relationship. yada yada yada... I am thinking maybe they dump you and then at around the age of 25 when the consequence part of the brain does completely develope thats when it "hits" them. I was wondering how old you were when it "hit"you? Maybe it has nothing to do with this "syndrome" but more to do with your brain growing up and you saying holy Crap what did I do? I will keep looking for that study I read but I don't seem to be able to find it. Thoughts??? can you post this on my " a greater understanding of gigs thread", id like to expand on it as i have some questions I want to leave this thread as it is, asking if people actually believe it follows patterns and stages resulting in the same outcome. Link to post Share on other sites
ZimboGon Posted December 18, 2011 Share Posted December 18, 2011 Dang. I'm not waiting 8 years for my ex to mature... XD Link to post Share on other sites
Author smokey bear Posted December 18, 2011 Author Share Posted December 18, 2011 Dang. I'm not waiting 8 years for my ex to mature... XD Ive posted a thread on it, im waiting on it getting approved!!!!! Might give you an insight if you can gauge what level of deveolpement they were at before it hut them Link to post Share on other sites
gibson Posted December 25, 2011 Share Posted December 25, 2011 I just saw this thread for the first time or else I would have posted sooner. To answer your main questions: 1. GIGS is real. Don't listen to the naysayers. 2. Dont use GIGS as a crutch. It's still a break up and it's still over. I just explained GIGS so that dumpees could understand what the heck just happened. 3. You still have to heal and move on. If they do come back and you haven't healed or moved on... You have ZERO chance of getting them back. GIGS exes will torture you with breadcrumbs and coming back before they are ready. If you aren't healed and moved on, you will end up taking them back to soon. 4. How long does GIGS last is different for everyone. I say on average of what I have seen and heard is 1.5 - 2 years. I came on LS 2 years ago to share my knowledge, wisdom and experience on GIGS. I also did it to help me grieve and to keep me honest (from being a bad dumpee). Within my GIGS threads, you will learn about my Ex and our break up due to her having GiGS. I explained in detail what was going to happen with her and that she would return begging for me back. As I predicted, my ex is back pursing me, asking and taking me on dates and trying to win me back. (Crawling over broken glass on her knees) I had GIGS, many of my friends (girls and guys) had it and I have done a lot of research on it. Truth is, if you were a good BF/GF... They usually come back after several years. This is why I didn't listen to the idiots who laughed at, critized, ridiculed and made fun of me and GIGS itself here on LS. Not sure what I am going to do with my Ex yet but if I want her, she is mine. In fact, this isn't the first GIGS Ex that has returned, there were others in the past. Anyway... Just post your questions and stores and I will respond as best I can. - Gibson (formally known as homebrew) Link to post Share on other sites
Author smokey bear Posted December 25, 2011 Author Share Posted December 25, 2011 I just saw this thread for the first time or else I would have posted sooner. To answer your main questions: 1. GIGS is real. Don't listen to the naysayers. 2. Dont use GIGS as a crutch. It's still a break up and it's still over. I just explained GIGS so that dumpees could understand what the heck just happened. 3. You still have to heal and move on. If they do come back and you haven't healed or moved on... You have ZERO chance of getting them back. GIGS exes will torture you with breadcrumbs and coming back before they are ready. If you aren't healed and moved on, you will end up taking them back to soon. 4. How long does GIGS last is different for everyone. I say on average of what I have seen and heard is 1.5 - 2 years. I came on LS 2 years ago to share my knowledge, wisdom and experience on GIGS. I also did it to help me grieve and to keep me honest (from being a bad dumpee). Within my GIGS threads, you will learn about my Ex and our break up due to her having GiGS. I explained in detail what was going to happen with her and that she would return begging for me back. As I predicted, my ex is back pursing me, asking and taking me on dates and trying to win me back. (Crawling over broken glass on her knees) I had GIGS, many of my friends (girls and guys) had it and I have done a lot of research on it. Truth is, if you were a good BF/GF... They usually come back after several years. This is why I didn't listen to the idiots who laughed at, critized, ridiculed and made fun of me and GIGS itself here on LS. Not sure what I am going to do with my Ex yet but if I want her, she is mine. In fact, this isn't the first GIGS Ex that has returned, there were others in the past. Anyway... Just post your questions and stores and I will respond as best I can. - Gibson (formally known as homebrew) Lol i clicked onto it in wilsons thread wink wink. I understand it pretty well now, do you believe its possible to carry out some of your gigs while still in the relationship, for eg, an ex takes up the party stage and new friends within the last few months of your relationship? Link to post Share on other sites
leoc1973 Posted December 25, 2011 Share Posted December 25, 2011 I would like to hear that report, I was 24, my gigs ended 2 months before my 25th birthday, so you think the length of gigs has to do with age, corresponding with emotional maturity? haha wow how funny that I called that one before I knew your age. I can't seem to find that damn thing. I google and read so much lately that I can't find something when I want it. I will keep trying tho. But that is why maybe it seems to last 6 months or 2 years and its also why lots of people seem to think its just immaturity because its part of it. I guess if you had broken up with your ex a year earlier yours might have lasted a year longer. Ok I am going to find that thing if it takes all day tomorrow. Link to post Share on other sites
gibson Posted December 25, 2011 Share Posted December 25, 2011 Lol i clicked onto it in wilsons thread wink wink. I understand it pretty well now, do you believe its possible to carry out some of your gigs while still in the relationship, for eg, an ex takes up the party stage and new friends within the last few months of your relationship? I responded to your question my GIGS thread. If you have questions, ask them here or in your other threads. If they benefit the masses, I will respond in the GIGS thread. If you want to go back and forth, do it here. Otherwise the GIGS thread will go off course again. Link to post Share on other sites
stunned8165 Posted December 27, 2011 Share Posted December 27, 2011 Um... GIGS... I dont know if I shall believe it or not. To me, gigs is another word of being immature. Ppl dont know how to treasure or appreciate what they have, always think there are better things outside that they can get, dont want to take responsibility, not ready for a commitment or to be settled,etc... that's the cause of gigs. Personal opinion I'll also agree with this. And I also want to expand the age to atleast 35. It depends on what went on in there lives. Some people NEVER mature. Link to post Share on other sites
wilsonx Posted December 27, 2011 Share Posted December 27, 2011 I'll also agree with this. And I also want to expand the age to atleast 35. It depends on what went on in there lives. Some people NEVER mature. Like you, you still havent grown up 8-9 months later, i read your most recent post and laughed said yup still hasnt changed Link to post Share on other sites
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