Is it fair for bf to dump me after saying NO to proposal

[whichwayisup]

I think what's really lost in all of this is what the OP really wants...friendship. She isn't mourning the loss of his love, but rather his friendship. To me that says everything we need to know.

 

Why on earth would a man want a "friendship" with a woman he has had a (presumably) sexual relationship with?

 

To me it seems you couldn't care less that he is no longer your lover, but are more upset that he isn't your friend. I know others will disagree, but I operate under the theory that men and women can't really be friends, especially if sex has been involved. I have many female acquaintances but no real "friends"...I can go out and have a drink with a friend or go to a movie or a ballgame without my wife freaking out...

 

OP please imagine 10yrs down the road, he's married to another woman. Do you think she would be cool with him being friends with a woman he proposed marriage to? Heck, maybe you could be in the wedding party...yes, you are both probably too young to get married, but he isn't the only one that is immature.

 

I agree. No man (or woman) wants to be 'friends' with someone who doesn't want to marry them and has said NO to the proposal.

 

Let your ex go so he can heal, grieve the loss of the life he thought he would have with you.. It's unfair and selfish of you to hang on and hope for a friendship.

 

Part of the consquence of saying no to him when he asked you to marry him IS losing him.. He cannot handle a friendship, rightfully so.

[setsenia]

Whereas the new hubbie and I talked about marriage almost since our relationship was official, so by the time he "proposed" it was more, "Let's do this thing we wanna do soon!" than "Here's a huge step we've never even discussed!"

 

This is exactly how it happened for me. Marriage was discussed the entire time we were dating and we both knew what we wanted. So by the time he proposed, we had already talked about what we wanted and I accepted.