How are you improving your life post-breakup?

[BoredAgain]

I want to make a more comprehensive thread about this eventually, but for now I'm just curious... what are you guys doing to improve your life post-breakup?

 

I have a lot of extra time (and a fair amount of extra money) now that I'm single. So I think I want try skydiving at least once. I also have more practical ideas, like getting re-certified for CPR and starting to run more. But I should note that I've been real lazy on this front...

[ZimboGon]

3 jobs to take over my free-time, started writing again as well.

 

On my appearance, started working out for 2 hours every morning, growing my hair out to how it was before my ex when i had so much fun being single, and got a sweet goatee.

[Lis007]

Well i have done sky diving lots of it!! You should give it a try for sure... amazing buzz even when you have done it a hundred times!

 

I run, paint, play the piano, happy to get through the day sometimes, listen to music, get together with friends, go to church, do fun things with my kids...

 

I made a list of things i must do each day... I stick to it most days...

 

Something physical - run yoga, aerobics etc...

Something creative - paint, music, writing etc...

Something spiritual - meditation, pray, reading self improvement books

Something around the house - cleaning, re-organsing etc...

Something with my kids - board game, chat, watch a tv show, we play tennis every second Sunday when I have them

Phone a friend/family daily - organise a get together at least once a week

 

Spend some time dreaming about what it is I really want to do and work on the bucket list and start having dreams and goals for myself.

 

I am thinking about new sports, groups I can join, look out for exciting local events.

 

Focus on work when I am at work and stop thinking about it when i leave!

 

Mostly when i get down i need to try to snap out of it and not dwell on the past... i also need to force myself to socialise as i tend to withdraw when i am upset.

 

In my case as I am standing for my marriage its been about coming to the realisation that we may never reconcile and because of the promise I have made it means finding fulfillment on my own and knowing it may always be that way. I am getting there... and trying to keep the faith and hope alive.

 

Its tough but it is getting easier most of the time... finding lately when I get down its a real downer which is a bummer. Keeping busy helps! I am fine when I have my kids its the off week I struggle with and even after 2.5 years its still a struggle...

[LZ2000]

I find myself reading loads of stories on this forum and i am amazed at what I have read.

[perfectlyflawed459]

I have been getting together with new friends and old friends I have lost contact with. I like to shop and buy myself nice things, which now everyone thinks I have such great taste in clothes I also like to give back though. I brought my mother a new Coach purse and my dad a new blue-ray DVD player and they absolutely lit up when they received their gifts. I like to do lots of volunteer work as well. I helped out with the elementary kids the other day and I had a blast with them. It is amazing how something so simple as coloring with them or giving them a hug can just put such a big smile on their face. I cannot descibe how great it feels to give back to the community. I am also very focused on getting into Pharmacy School. I made straight A's this semester and am looking for an internship at a pharmacy, so I am on the right track! Going on runs in nice nature trails is great too. Overall, I have just been letting go of the hurtful past between my ex and I, so the numerous happy memories are all that remain now. I do have some rough days because I miss him to now end, but I remind myself that separation is best for us right now so all the bad can truely die away. In the meantime, I am learning to appreciate everything I do have in my life and it does help a lot.

[bestrong]

I have been spending more time with friends especially when most of us had finished college and are back to the country. Almost everyone has turned into muture adults and the bond among us has grown stronger:) I have picked up saxophone, something I wanted to learn since I was young and hopefully will be the next Kenny G LOL!!! I took a class in Sports Science and I will soon be a registered personal trainer reconized in the UK, New Zealand, Australia and Hong Kong, hopefully i am going to KO the last exam this wednesday. I have also set up a workout plan for my parents and myself hoping to influence everyone around me to exercise and promote good health

[EyeAlone]

Well, for one, I'm sleeping more because I'm no longer having to stay up late to talk to him on the phone. I'm also having more time to spend with my friends since I'm not traveling out of the city to see him every weekend. That also means I have lots of spare money that I otherwise would have been spending on travel, which now I'm using to pamper myself. Man, LDRs take up so much time and resources.

 

When I was in the relationship, my physical fitness level was mediocre. My endurance abilities were nil and of course my ex would always remind me how much more athletic his exes were. Now I'm trying to go to the gym every day to train for a 10k. I've been so proud of my recent results on the treadmill

[scobro]

I decided on a plan to move to the city(Toronto) for June 1st and find a new job there.It allows me to do something I could never do when my ex and I were together.Its something I always wanted to do as I have always lived in the suburbs.It allows me to focus on a goal and be prepared for a life changing descision with a new positive outlook on the future.Its been a couple of months since the breakup but only a few weeks into no contact.I still have the breakup pain but hopefully that will go away in time.

[Steven T]

Still upset but...

 

Grown my thin chin strap beard back that I use to have a few years back.

 

Going to start working out again, I expect in the New Year.

 

I am basically trying to put my life back together one piece at a time.

 

Slowly but surely I will be the person I was before I met her.

 

It's been a terrible year for me so I am looking forward to 2012.

[thepedestrian]

Working out more. Finally got some clothes tailored. I have really broad shoulders and a narrow waste and I never had clothes that fitted nice. Going to order some books today. Stopped drinking, only have the casual drink here and there but I think I'm mostly done with it. Going to start doing Hot Yoga so we'll see how that goes. Could also meet some nice ladies there; we'll see but I'm not interested in a relationship or anything.

 

I want to spend some time learning a new language. If Japan wasn't in a nuclear crises it definitely would be Japanese. Probably going to try and learn portuguese though.

[SelfCentered]

• Seeing old friend's that I lost touch with whilst I was with her.
  
• Getting counselling and help for long term anxiety problems
  
• Got a personal trainer, new workout plan
  
• Looking into performing standup comedy- long term goal of mine
  

And, most importantly:

 

 

• Realising I've got huge self-esteem problems that I try to remedy by validating my existence through the existence of another- aka relationship addiction.
   
  Addressing this with the counsellor/therapist mentioned above.
  

[Philosoraptor]

I actually just went skydiving a few weeks back and it was great. I've just been going on adventures and treating myself. I was at a place where I didn't really get to keep the budget that I would have liked. Now that I am only supporting one I tend to have a lot more wiggle room so I've taken advantage of it and really had a good time.

[SelfCentered]

I actually just went skydiving a few weeks back and it was great. I've just been going on adventures and treating myself. I was at a place where I didn't really get to keep the budget that I would have liked. Now that I am only supporting one I tend to have a lot more wiggle room so I've taken advantage of it and really had a good time.

 

That's true!

 

Really want to go Skydiving!

[melenkurion]

Over the last year I reconnected with old friends I lost touch with while in the relationship. I will never make that mistake again.

 

I joined a drama group. I'll never be a great actor, but I get a buzz from it. It's been fun to have a couple of sketches I have co-written performed on stage to appreciative audiences, it's been fun being part of productions. It helped enormously in improving my confidence.

 

I've tried loads of stuff. I used to think "I'd like to try that" and I was too shy to do it. I've tried dancing lessons, martial arts. I've enjoyed most of it, and some of it I intend to keep up.

 

I entered counselling. It's helped me so much.

[JohnP82]

Focusing on passing the bar exam in feb. Applying to LLM programs and getting my career on track. Once the bar exam is over I can start to really get in shape again by boxing. I'm also going to start volunteering again in a little league program with kids with mental and physical disabilities. I'm also going to take a break from being in a relationship, however a fwb would be nice :-p

[moosekaka]

joined a yoga studio and doing it 3-5x a week

training to get my mile time PR down to ~5mins (from 5:12 5 years ago), more lifting and running now then at anytime in the last 4 years

signed up for bungee jumping on new years day

took a lesson in hip hop dance, will do it again now I know its not that bad (very shy guy when it came to dancing at clubs)

signed up to volunteer at the animal shelter

reading up on personal CBT and ACT books

seeing a therapist once a week

 

maybe join an improv class next?

[moosekaka]

update: i actually did go bungee jumping, jumped 3 x! scariest thing I ever did, now I am planning to go skydiving on my birthday in three weeks time!

[Buttercup84]

I have been getting together with new friends and old friends I have lost contact with. I like to shop and buy myself nice things, which now everyone thinks I have such great taste in clothes I also like to give back though. I brought my mother a new Coach purse and my dad a new blue-ray DVD player and they absolutely lit up when they received their gifts. I like to do lots of volunteer work as well. I helped out with the elementary kids the other day and I had a blast with them. It is amazing how something so simple as coloring with them or giving them a hug can just put such a big smile on their face. I cannot descibe how great it feels to give back to the community. I am also very focused on getting into Pharmacy School. I made straight A's this semester and am looking for an internship at a pharmacy, so I am on the right track! Going on runs in nice nature trails is great too. Overall, I have just been letting go of the hurtful past between my ex and I, so the numerous happy memories are all that remain now. I do have some rough days because I miss him to now end, but I remind myself that separation is best for us right now so all the bad can truely die away. In the meantime, I am learning to appreciate everything I do have in my life and it does help a lot.

 

That's awesome , good luck ! Btw you look like my friends cousin very much so .

[TheJiltedGeneration]

trying to learn japanese atm

 

Exercising a lot more ( doing runs early in the morning right now) and lost 7 pounds which is pretty sweet...

 

eating more healthy with the occasional trash food ( like a pizza on the weekend stuff like that)

 

problem is progress is slow but if I keep at it I know the spoils will be great... the biggest obsticle right now is learning how to relax and not be fretted by even the most small of obsticles.. anyone got advice on relaxation ( tried a ...few... things but they don't work as my mind is still at unease..

[Buttercup84]

I have joined the gym ( just have to start going hehe )

and while I want to lose weight and tone up , I am going to focus on becoming fit . Like setting myself little goals " by the end of the week I can run ten minutes on the treadmill without dying "

 

I am going out more , couldn't do that before as I had hardly any money due to the high rent and my exs refusal to move somewhere cheaper . Plus I was getting clingy as he was getting distant .

 

I have started painting , buying myself some nice art supplies and it helps when I get anxiety .

 

 

There are Zumba classes near me so I am thinking of doing a class next month and I am also starting ballet lessons soon too.

 

I want to do my advanced first aid and also study to become a parramedic . At the moment I am studying childcare

[perfectlyflawed459]

I have joined the gym ( just have to start going hehe )

and while I want to lose weight and tone up , I am going to focus on becoming fit . Like setting myself little goals " by the end of the week I can run ten minutes on the treadmill without dying "

 

I am going out more , couldn't do that before as I had hardly any money due to the high rent and my exs refusal to move somewhere cheaper . Plus I was getting clingy as he was getting distant .

 

I have started painting , buying myself some nice art supplies and it helps when I get anxiety .

 

 

There are Zumba classes near me so I am thinking of doing a class next month and I am also starting ballet lessons soon too.

 

I want to do my advanced first aid and also study to become a parramedic . At the moment I am studying childcare

 

Thank you so much and I do? lol. I am glad you are doing a lot better! It gets easier each day. You are a strong, beautiful woman, never forget that!

[Exit]

Down 30lbs so far. =-O

 

Started going to therapy to address my issues although so far it seems as pointless as I always assumed it to be.

 

I've reconnected with how much I like to be outdoors. Realized a good cure for anxious energy is just to go out and walk until it passes. Pushed myself to do 10 miles walks a couple times just to prove to myself that I could do it.

 

Working on getting a lot of clutter out of my life and focus on what's important.

 

Excited that 2012 could bring about the best version of me yet although it does suck that it had to happen through such painful circumstances, maybe this is exactly why it needed to happen.

[fucpcg]

I kinda laugh when I see how often people talk about going back to fitness, and how that really sharpened their life starting over. I've been a bodybuilder my whole life, so I didn't have that as a place to start over, that is inherent routine. My ex had 3 young boys, who are now no longer accessible to me thanks to her hostility over breakup, so I went to volunteering with children focus. Here's some great programs I am now involved in: gliding stars, special olympics coach, court appointed special advocate, chemo pal. The last tow only for the strong I believe, but if you have the strength the kids need you.