Acknowledged Jealousy of a Friend

[meanie_monday]

So I was talking to my friend last night and I immediately noticed my jealousy and irritation. She's been looking for a job for a while and she told me she finally got a job where she makes good money. I felt jealous because she makes more money than me and works full time; however, she doesn't need the job. She's just looking to "kill time." She lives at home and is extremely spoiled with no responsibilities whatsoever. She decided not to go to college and just mooches off her parents, but finally decided to get a job out of boredom. What bothered me was that I work to actually pay bills and for school and don't even make close to what she does. It also bothers me that there are people who really need a job and people like me who struggle to make ends meet, and she just has a job to deal with her boredom.

 

I've never been jealous of the fact that she's rich and spoiled, because I've been there; however, I prefer the satisfaction of working hard to attain what I want. I feel like working hard creates more character and you learn to value things more, but it still bugs me that some people always get the easy way out.

 

So is it unreasonable for me to feel jealousy/irritated towards my friend's situation?

[SpiralOut]

well I don't blame you for feeling that way. I think you need to ask yourself if this bothers you enough to affect the friendship. A good friend once told me that everyone has flaws, we just need to decide which ones we are able to deal with.

[selena_cat]

How do you know that she makes good money? some people tend to exaggerate their earnings to make themselves look good.

[NoMagicBullet]

Feelings are rarely reasonable! They are what they are. But this has the potential to damage your friendship if you let it get to you. It sounds like you are in different places in your lives -- was it always that way? It could be that the two of you are starting to move in different directions in life, and if this is the case, it gets very difficult to maintain a friendship.

 

You have to look at what value the friendship has and decide how you might continue it. It also sounds like you look down on your friend for her choices and opportunities, and if you don't find other good qualities of hers to focus on, this is only going to fester and get worse. You may not choose to feel jealous, but you'll need to combat that feeling and try to maintain a positive perspective of your friend if you want the friendship to continue.