Some people become very nice when they think they are dying

[Green Light]

A few weeks ago my wife had a heath emergency and had to be taken in an ambulance in the middle of the night. Turned out to only be a bad case of bronchitis and a panic attack, but afterward, for a while there, the situation really changed her. For about a week she was actually nice, grateful, easy going, human. She actually seemed to be grateful that I was in her life. Now she's back to her old self and worse than ever with being critical, judgemental, moody, non-caring, cold, verbally biting. We have been fighting a lot and I think that she has said more hurtful things to me this past week than at any times in the last 5 years.

I feel like it's hopeless but I do care about this woman. That week where she was actually nice was like salt in a wound because it showed me that she could be a little caring. More like she was when we met.

Has anyone else ever experienced anything like this?

[whichwayisup]

Tell her what you said here. Let her know that you're sick and tired of being treated like crap and feeling used and abused by her!

 

I know you say you care about her, but what can be done to make your marriage better? make her stop being so controlling, mean and picky? A person can only take so much before they walk away....

[Green Light]

Tell her what you said here. Let her know that you're sick and tired of being treated like crap and feeling used and abused by her!

 

I told her this very thing today. This resulted in an hour long fight. Afterward she did seem to understand and it seemed like I was getting through to her but she said that I should "lead by example" and try to be more of an "up" person myself and then maybe that would inspire her to change. that's bull****! I'm not the most positive guy in the world but I'm nowhere near as negative and judgemental as she is. She's always blaming her mistakes and bad attitude on other people.

 

 

I know you say you care about her, but what can be done to make your marriage better? make her stop being so controlling, mean and picky? A person can only take so much before they walk away....

 

At this point I don't know what can be done. She says that she doesn't care about anything anymore. What are you supposed to do with somebody who just doesn't care and spends most of her time staring into a screen. She is obviously very depressed but she refuses to get any treatment because she feels that she would be smarter than the therapist anyway.

I've invested so much time into this relationship and like I said, I do still care about her, I can see something good deep inside there. After this health incident it was actually out in full view but now it's buried again in her anger, ego, depression and bad attitude.

[Wolf18]

Why don't you put on some pants and put her in her damn place? IF she doesn't like it , she can leave.

 

Women treat men like they do because guys like you let them. If she wants you in the bad times, but treats you like garbage in the good times, throw her out into the streets to see who else is going to take her ****.

[Green Light]

Why don't you put on some pants and put her in her damn place?

 

 

IF she doesn't like it , she can leave.

 

Women treat men like they do because guys like you let them.

 

A bit oversimplified perhaps. I do get your point however.

How do you deal with a person who has come to a place where they don't care about anything? Seeing her in fear for her life that night was the most I have seen her care for anything in a long time. I really don't think that she would care if I did tell her that it was over.

I mean, I understand your point of "my way or the highway" and being a tough guy and everything but it still hurts to see someone who you still care about and who used to care about you and who you have all this history with just sort of disintegrate before your eyes into someone you don't even recognise any more. My make me a sissy but that's what I'm going through right now.

Edited December 19, 2011 by Green Light