melenkurion Posted December 19, 2011 Share Posted December 19, 2011 Last night I dreamt that I got back together with my ex. All I can remember is that I was deeply unhappy, my friends were aghast and trying to talk me to my senses. When I awoke, I was hugely relieved to find that I had been dreaming. I hope this is a good thing, I am not sure. I suppose I'd rather have this happen than the dreams of just-over a year ago when I'd dream we were together and happy, and wake up miserable. I'd rather not dream about him at all, to be honest. It's been a year, after all. Link to post Share on other sites
Philosoraptor Posted December 19, 2011 Share Posted December 19, 2011 That sounds like a good thing. I had the same thing happen. I even had dreams where I got back with her and moments later in the dream was thinking "why in the world did I do that?" Link to post Share on other sites
radiodarcy Posted December 19, 2011 Share Posted December 19, 2011 i would say it's progress. it means you are long past the point of seeing the relationship or any aspects of your ex through rose-colored glasses. i dream about the ex from time to time. i forget about what they were about seconds after i wake up. it's a good feeling. i do remember i had one dream where i sent him one of my pathetic texts. as per real life i never got a response. so i kept sending him text and text. i was sooo relieved when i woke up and realized it was just a dream. Link to post Share on other sites
SelfCentered Posted December 19, 2011 Share Posted December 19, 2011 I've had dreams where she's asked me back and I say no- but I'm upset when I do. Think it's because I-naturally- want a "quick fix" out of this BU pain and getting back with her would be that fix, for a while at least! But logically I know it could never work now, too many bridges have been burnt. I wake up from these dreams a bit down but relieved that I made the right choice. FYI, if she does ask me back, can people please highlight these posts of mine and show that when I'm thinking logically I know it isn't the right thing! Link to post Share on other sites
Author melenkurion Posted December 19, 2011 Author Share Posted December 19, 2011 i would say it's progress. it means you are long past the point of seeing the relationship or any aspects of your ex through rose-colored glasses. i dream about the ex from time to time. i forget about what they were about seconds after i wake up. it's a good feeling. i do remember i had one dream where i sent him one of my pathetic texts. as per real life i never got a response. so i kept sending him text and text. i was sooo relieved when i woke up and realized it was just a dream. radiodarcy: Heh, I feel looooong past the "rose coloured glasses" phase. Probably a bit too far out the the other side. I see him as pompous, humourless and rather ridiculous with a mildly cruel streak. I had another dream a few months ago where I dreamt he'd somehow become my boss, and the being ordered around imperiously was feeling dreadfully familiar I'd still rather feel about him as, I dunno, someone from school I struggled to quite remember? SelfCentred: I'm lucky, at this stage the dream hasn't upset me (six months ago it would have done). I just felt this relief! It sounds like you're in rather a good place, actually, if your feelings are "a bit down but relieved". That shows a healthy dollop of realism in your hypnagogic state. Philosoraptor: Wow, that sounds rather close to lucid dreaming, very self-ware! When I am dreams, they rather unfold around me. I'm not that aware of thoughts as such, sort of jumbles of impressions/images/emotions. Self-awareness in dreams, I wonder if it helps process stuff. Dunno. Link to post Share on other sites
Philosoraptor Posted December 19, 2011 Share Posted December 19, 2011 Not on the topic here but I do feel like it helps with processing emotions. I wake up from those dreams and have that "wow, even in my dreams I know what's best for me" kind of feelings. That doesn't mean I don't have other dreams that go the other way, but they don't bother me anymore. Link to post Share on other sites
Thieves Posted December 20, 2011 Share Posted December 20, 2011 (edited) Melen, if you see it as progress, then please: don't doubt it. It's progress. Even from my point of view, it's a pretty damn big step. It's funny, because some people probably wish they could have those kind of dreams about their exes -- where they see themselves unhappy with the ex and their friends are being supportive of them, instead of the opposite. It would probably help them not to have as much hope if things aren't even working out in their dreams. I'd rather not dream about him at all, to be honest. It's been a year, after all. Two words: baby steps. We'd all rather not dream of our exes, and sometimes even after a very long time (I'm talking more than a year), they still pop up occasionally. It doesn't have to mean anything huge, it's just a simple fact that they were once in your life, and so that memory will always be there somewhat. Well, at least until they come up with the technology to completely wipe a specific person from somebody else's memory... which is a bit scary. But anyway. Until then, it's a matter of learning to cope with it. Actually, you may have gotten lucky in a way, because like I said... some people only have dreams where they end up with their ex and they're happy, things are great, and then they wake up. Do some of them wake up 'miserable' like you did in the past? Probably. Do some of them eventually learn how to brush the dreams off and not let it affect them too much? Definitely. So think of it as you've got your own little personal reminder in your dreams to remind you that your ex is not the one meant for you, and that you have to keep moving forward. Edited December 20, 2011 by Thieves Link to post Share on other sites
Author melenkurion Posted December 21, 2011 Author Share Posted December 21, 2011 I wake up from those dreams and have that "wow, even in my dreams I know what's best for me" kind of feelings. I can understand that. I'm actually pleased about it now. I think I can say that my subconscious mind agrees with my conscious mind, and that is a good thing. It's nice to be unanimous Two words: baby steps. We'd all rather not dream of our exes, and sometimes even after a very long time (I'm talking more than a year), they still pop up occasionally. It doesn't have to mean anything huge, it's just a simple fact that they were once in your life, and so that memory will always be there somewhat. Thanks! It's true, put like that. Sometimes, people pop into my dreams that I haven't seen in years, and I just think "Oh, that's interesting". It's going to happen, sometimes. It helps me to think that dreams use whatever fragments of memory are floating around to create the scene, and he's in quite a lot of those fragments. It doesn't necessarily mean I am fixated Link to post Share on other sites
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