I had a relationship with my professor and now I am seeing the light, now I need help

[ConfusedChica]

Not sure what to do. Need some help on this! For the last two semesters I have had a relationship with MARRIED professor behind the schools back. ( I am 21 and he is in his 50's). It all started when I had a crush on him, and he came on to me. My friends and my parents have always warned me that he was no good and that I should find somebody else. I couldn't see this because I was SO in love with him. Now the novelty is wareing off and I do see that I have been taken advantage of. I am sure he lies to me ( he lies plenty to his disabled wife! This is his SECOND affair! who knows what other students he has seduced) and I am sure if I ever married him, he would cheat on me too. I still do love him, but less and less with each passing day.

 

I was talking to my mother about this as well as my bestfriend, and they both worry that he will do this to other students. Should I have one of them write a letter to his boss so that he will not do this to other girls, or should I just leave it be?

[average guy]

That's a tough call.

 

First off, I always advise people never to get involved with someone they would have to see everyday after they broke up (i.e. a co-worker, classmate, and I guess in this case, a teacher)

 

Second, if you truly felt that this was true love on both of your parts, and that it just did't work out, then you may just want to chalk it up to expereince.

 

However, if you feel in any way (even the slightest) that he used his power or influence over you to seduce you or trick you or anything like that, then yes, for your self respect and closure (and to protect other students) you might want to think about reporting it to the university (I would go to your student organisation first to get more info - maybe even see a school counselour, before you go straight to his boss. There may be things you'll need to do, like provide evidence of his behaviour).

 

Anyway, in the end you have to do whatever will help you best cope with this situation and prevent it happening again (either to you with someone else, or by him with other students).

 

Best of luck

 

A.G.

[WowWhatAJerk]

Id' say that if you're the second student (that you know of) who he's had an affair with, then he's conciously preying on young, naive students in order to get his rocks off. And therefore, he deserves to be outted.

 

And if he did something really screwed up and malicious towards you (like playing mind games and flexing his authority figure over you outside of the classroom) then he also deserves to suffer, A LOT, before he faces the consequences. Remind him of everything he's risked just to get a piece and show him everything he's going to lose for being such a creep about it. Living under the pressure and fear of public humiliation before actually bearing the public humiliation will really drive it home. No matter where he ends up, he'll never make the mistake of sleeping with a student again.