TammyH Posted May 30, 2004 Share Posted May 30, 2004 I've been dating this guy for 3 months now. For the past 2weeks he has not been acting like him self. I found out the other night that he posted him self on an online dating service. So I asked him if he was unhappy with the relationship. He said that he was not sure what he wanted anymore. He said there is a lot of things that he wants to do to further his career and life but was not sure if there was time for dating. Ok then why did he put himself on a dating service. If he has no time for dating??? He said that things have just been moving to fast with us.......now mind you he's the one that prosued me. He said the first I love you he's the one that wanted to see me all the time. He said he cares about me and does not want to break up but slow things down. He said he loves me but does not know if he's in love with me??? What does that meen? Should I just end things with him or hang in there? Please HELP!! Link to post Share on other sites
johan Posted May 30, 2004 Share Posted May 30, 2004 Distance yourself from him emotionally. Don't break up, don't demand any explanations. You already have all the information you need. Sorry, it isn't easy, but you can make it a lot harder by getting extra emotional about it. Keep it as clean and painless as possible so you can handle whatever he's up to as well as possible. Maybe he'll come back around or maybe not. He's making it clear you shouldn't expect anything from him. Again sorry. Some guy will be able to go the distance with you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author TammyH Posted May 30, 2004 Author Share Posted May 30, 2004 Thanks so much for your reply. What you have suggested is exactly what I have done. I'm hanging in there. I have not been calling him or anything. I wait for him to make the first move to call me or to make plans for us to see each other. I'm trying to fill my free time with the things I like to do. But it's hard not to sit and just worry.........I feel like I'm physically making my self sick over all of this. Link to post Share on other sites
zoomer Posted May 30, 2004 Share Posted May 30, 2004 Personally my head would tell me ....to end it....heart may tell me something else...meaning I'm sure you care a lot for him and ending it would be hard. You know for a fact that he posted himself on a dating site??? That would be your answer and I think you know that. Distancing yourself would be a good idea too if you don't want to end it...that is easier said than done.. To keep emotions out of it. Good Luck to you Link to post Share on other sites
zoomer Posted May 30, 2004 Share Posted May 30, 2004 Just remember if you end it....that will free you up for someone well deserving of you! And worth your time, energy, and effort! Just wanted to say that... Also, don't let it make you sick, he's certainly NOT WORTH that! Trust me, no one is worth that. Link to post Share on other sites
Author TammyH Posted May 30, 2004 Author Share Posted May 30, 2004 It's funny I just got off the phone with him (he called me) we are going to go to a movie. He acts like nothing happened. He asked me if everything is OK. I of course say sure everything is fine ...........put on my happy face when all I really want to do is cry. I'm just so torn on what to do. It's funny how you can really love a person after such little time. When we meet I really though I had found the one now all of that seems never possible. Link to post Share on other sites
zoomer Posted May 30, 2004 Share Posted May 30, 2004 I know it's TOUGH!!! Everything is easier said than done... Go to the movie, hold your head high and have fun....Maybe make him wonder what's up with you here lately!!!!! Go Girl! Good Luck Link to post Share on other sites
blueeyedbaby Posted June 1, 2004 Share Posted June 1, 2004 Calm down! Everything is okay! Really! I recommend that you read "Men are From Mars, Women are from Venus." I hate self-help books but I found it very helpful. It says men are like rubber bands. They get intimate and comfortable, then all of a sudden need to pull away to remind themselves they are their own person and can manage on their own. Then, when that's re-established, they snap back and pull closer to you. It sounds like that's what's happening here. Give him the space he needs and trust that he will come back to you. If he does, your relationship will be stronger and you won't be so scared the next time he pulls back. If he doesn't ... his loss. Link to post Share on other sites
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