The Definition of a High Quality Man

[ThaWholigan]

I already have my 'high quality' man. And you can't say he was some alpha ladies man, either, because I took my man's virginity.....at 32 years of age.

 

I've never seen him wear anything but jeans and T-shirt, I have no idea what kind of car it is that he drives--- but it's not a luxury vehicle, he cuts his own hair, etc, etc, etc.

 

He's kind. That's what matters to me. He's kind, he's sincere, he treats me fantastically. He's got character. Money comes and goes. Looks fade. But character is forever.

 

I say this with no malice intended to anyone:

 

You are one of the exceptions IMO.

[jobaba]

I already have my 'high quality' man. And you can't say he was some alpha ladies man, either, because I took my man's virginity.....at 32 years of age.

 

I've never seen him wear anything but jeans and T-shirt, I have no idea what kind of car it is that he drives--- but it's not a luxury vehicle, he cuts his own hair, etc, etc, etc.

 

He's kind. That's what matters to me. He's kind, he's sincere, he treats me fantastically. He's got character. Money comes and goes. Looks fade. But character is forever.

 

You're a special kind of lady...

[Janesays]

You're a special kind of lady...

 

No, you misunderstand. HE'S special.

 

When I was dating, do you know how many guys would try to impress me with their money? They'd throw cash around like it

 

was going out of style, brag about their expensive purchases like I'd care. I don't. I have my own money. Besides, I want to date a man, not an ATM.

 

I also have a policy...never date anyone prettier than myself. So the meat head who spends hours at the gym is out. Ever sit on the couch, AS THE WOMAN, ands wait for your date to get ready? I have. It's not fun. Vanity isn't sexy.

 

No, I don't like the man who goes around posturing to be the best man in the room. Why is he focusing on the other men on the room anyway when could bbe kissing me?

 

My man has his priorities straight. That, my friends, is hard to find. I feel like he's some secret treasure that I snatched up in the knick of time.

[manup]

The point is how many guys did you get with that had all of the qualities you now dislike before you got with your nice guy? You really think we all want to be 32 year old virgins?

[Woggle]

This is not what is attractive to many women.

[HopelessRomantic76]

I agree the op forgot to add must come in a chiseled package

 

It sounds good to say on paper but "being nice" is probably around the 46723237th most important thing to a women in a man

 

It's funny how every women who called me arrogant wheter to my face or to other people ended up sleeping with me

 

Women want raw masculine energy,sure beign nice makes them say awww hes sweet but it doesnt drop their panties dominance status and being head of your tribe/social circle gets them wet

 

There is truth to that, i married a very nice easy goign guy but he was too easy going never challenged me rarely argued with me never was assertive he was afraid of confrontation.. I ended up divorcing him and being with his friend for awhile who was the so called "leader of the pack" while his friend isnt as nice as him per se he has more masculine energy and was more for lack of better word alpha and it turned me on instinctually

 

I think a lot of women want to marry the easy going nice guy who would be a good husaband and father but we learn how were really attracted to the strong alpha guy who might be a jerk or arrogant at times but gets are panties wet..its subconscious and not something we can control,i wish the easy going passive nice guy turned me on more but he doesnt, we women are attracted to the Lion in the group

[carhill]

A high quality man doesn't care about how other people define the data points of his quality. He is. That's it.

[ThaWholigan]

There is truth to that, i married a very nice easy goign guy but he was too easy going never challenged me rarely argued with me never was assertive he was afraid of confrontation.. I ended up divorcing him and being with his friend for awhile who was the so called "leader of the pack" while his friend isnt as nice as him per se he has more masculine energy and was more for lack of better word alpha and it turned me on instinctually

 

I think a lot of women want to marry the easy going nice guy who would be a good husaband and father but we learn how were really attracted to the strong alpha guy who might be a jerk or arrogant at times but gets are panties wet..its subconscious and not something we can control,i wish the easy going passive nice guy turned me on more but he doesnt, we women are attracted to the Lion in the group

 

^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Which is why it is important to be both......

[EnigmaticClarity]

A high quality man doesn't care about how other people define the data points of his quality. He is. That's it.

 

Overly simplistic. Any human being who truly didn't care what others think of him would be one of the most selfish, unlikable bastards you'd ever care to meet.

[Dust]

No, you misunderstand. HE'S special.

 

When I was dating, do you know how many guys would try to impress me with their money? They'd throw cash around like it

 

was going out of style, brag about their expensive purchases like I'd care. I don't. I have my own money. Besides, I want to date a man, not an ATM.

 

I also have a policy...never date anyone prettier than myself. So the meat head who spends hours at the gym is out. Ever sit on the couch, AS THE WOMAN, ands wait for your date to get ready? I have. It's not fun. Vanity isn't sexy.

 

No, I don't like the man who goes around posturing to be the best man in the room. Why is he focusing on the other men on the room anyway when could bbe kissing me?

 

My man has his priorities straight. That, my friends, is hard to find. I feel like he's some secret treasure that I snatched up in the knick of time.

 

Your guy sounds like hes had a lot of trouble with women till you came a long. He's lucky you find him attractive.

 

The point is how many guys did you get with that had all of the qualities you now dislike before you got with your nice guy? You really think we all want to be 32 year old virgins?

 

You should add 32 year old virgin to your list of what it takes to be a quality man!

[carhill]

Overly simplistic. Any human being who truly didn't care what others think of him would be one of the most selfish, unlikable bastards you'd ever care to meet.

He's selective in whose opinions he gives value to.

 

Others speak for him as to quality. He is.

 

Note also that I didn't ever say he doesn't care about what others think of him. Work on that part.

[AD1980]

There is truth to that, i married a very nice easy goign guy but he was too easy going never challenged me rarely argued with me never was assertive he was afraid of confrontation.. I ended up divorcing him and being with his friend for awhile who was the so called "leader of the pack" while his friend isnt as nice as him per se he has more masculine energy and was more for lack of better word alpha and it turned me on instinctually

 

I think a lot of women want to marry the easy going nice guy who would be a good husaband and father but we learn how were really attracted to the strong alpha guy who might be a jerk or arrogant at times but gets are panties wet..its subconscious and not something we can control,i wish the easy going passive nice guy turned me on more but he doesnt, we women are attracted to the Lion in the group

 

This is why women arent worth the headache

 

Since when is beign laid back and non cofnrational a bad thing?

 

Im a laid back guy who doesnt like confrontation or arguments for the most part, i guess that doesnt get the womens panties wet unless i put her in her place:rolleyes:

[Red Arremer]

Men and women differ on what qualities are most desirable? Well, I never!!!

[sunshinegirl]

Janesays your coudn't be more wrong. Women vote every day by who they decide to pay attention too. The rich guy who drives the nice car wins every time when up against some chump who spends all his free time mowing neighbors lawns and overtipping waitress who is already taken or atleast pregnant...

 

This post couldn't be more wrong.

 

Wrong! When I first met my H, I had also recently started spending time with a guy who turned out to be the CFO of a major national restaurant chain (guarantee that 75% of people on LS have eaten there before and everyone would recognize the name). He had all the externals we're debating here - he was hot, rich, had a nice car, was successful, etc.

 

Well guess what? He LOST to the "chump" I married, who is a fundraiser for a network of elderly care facilities (ie not rich!), loves elderly people, would give the shirt off his back to someone who needs it, constantly overtips at restaurants and hotels, etc. Oh, and he's overweight and balding. I couldn't be happier.

 

Now when we, on occasion, patronize said major national restaurant chain, my H feels like it's a charitable contribution to the CFO who lost me. "I got the girl, so out of pity we'll spend some money at his establishment."

[Janesays]

Wrong! When I first met my H, I had also recently started spending time with a guy who turned out to be the CFO of a major national restaurant chain (guarantee that 75% of people on LS have eaten there before and everyone would recognize the name). He had all the externals we're debating here - he was hot, rich, had a nice car, was successful, etc.

 

Well guess what? He LOST to the "chump" I married, who is a fundraiser for a network of elderly care facilities (ie not rich!), loves elderly people, would give the shirt off his back to someone who needs it, constantly overtips at restaurants and hotels, etc. Oh, and he's overweight and balding. I couldn't be happier.

 

Now when we, on occasion, patronize said major national restaurant chain, my H feels like it's a charitable contribution to the CFO who lost me. "I got the girl, so out of pity we'll spend some money at his establishment."

 

 

LOVE THIS STORY!

[Dust]

Wrong! When I first met my H, I had also recently started spending time with a guy who turned out to be the CFO of a major national restaurant chain (guarantee that 75% of people on LS have eaten there before and everyone would recognize the name). He had all the externals we're debating here - he was hot, rich, had a nice car, was successful, etc.

 

Well guess what? He LOST to the "chump" I married, who is a fundraiser for a network of elderly care facilities (ie not rich!), loves elderly people, would give the shirt off his back to someone who needs it, constantly overtips at restaurants and hotels, etc. Oh, and he's overweight and balding. I couldn't be happier.

 

Now when we, on occasion, patronize said major national restaurant chain, my H feels like it's a charitable contribution to the CFO who lost me. "I got the girl, so out of pity we'll spend some money at his establishment."

 

The only way the CFO guy lost is if he is still thinking about you and never moved on. Which I doubt no offense.

 

Fat and balding guys who love elderly people may do it for you and thats beautiful but don't confuse that with the definition of quality guys.

[BetheButterfly]

 

You want to know what a high quality man looks like? Well, let me show you one:

 

A high quality man volunteers his time as a big brother because he wants under privileged boys to have a strong male role model. He's the type of guy his friend who works third shift can call up at 3am for a ride because his car broke down. A high quality man will stop his car to catch a loose dog roaming the streets and spend the day looking for it's owner. He'll tip the pregnant server $20 'just because.' He mows his elderly neighbors lawn for her without her knowing because he knows how hard it is for her to ask for help. A high quality male remembers what your favorite flower is even though you only mentioned it in passing once 9 months ago. He's honest with you, even if what he says might hurt you, but he always speaks with compassion. A high quality man doesn't live outside his means, can plan for the future, and has a passion for something. In essence, he's the sort of guy who will take good care of you. Likewise, he's the sort of guy you want to take the very best care of yourself.

 

As far as what he's wearing? Who cares?!?!?!?!

 

100% agreed!!! Awesome post!

[carhill]

IMO, the guy who others talk about positively will eat at the national restaurant chain because he likes the food and service and the CFO of said chain will not be on his mind, much less his lips, charitably or otherwise, and his comments will be positive because he not only has the girl but also is getting a good meal and great service at a competitive price and he will tip accordingly and without comment. His actions define his quality. Men want to be like him.

 

Stay thirsty my friends

[Oxy Moronovich]

Man, this thread got shot down like you wouldn't believe!

 

Few women will admit they like to be dominated by jerks. Most women will give that malarky about wanting the nice, pushover dude. By the age of 25, the average dude realizes it's stupid to listen to women when they say they want a nice guy cuz it's b.s.

 

That's why LS dudes shot the OP down like it was a game of racketball. Post after post, dudes on this forum smacked the OP's definition of a "high quality male" without a moment's hesitation, like they were swatting a fly or something.

[iris219]

I think a high quality man is someone who not only cares about others, but also cares about being the best he can be. He not only wants to spend time on altruistic things, but he wants to spend time on improving himself and making the most of himself. He's intelligent, and therefore pursues a challenging and rewarding career path. He has a lot of interests and enjoys doing a lot of different things, so he is also fun to be with. He takes care of his body by staying fit and working out, and doesn't abuse it. He cares about how he looks, and wants to present his best self to the world, so he is well groomed and well dressed. His manners are impeccable, he's kind, compassionate, and has a passion in life. He has skills, and is able to do a lot of things. He's a good communicator, and takes an interest in world events and things outside of himself. He's evolved spiritually. He knows what he wants out of life, and goes for it with a passion. That's my definition of a quality man.

 

I agree with this definition of "high quality." I could care less about a guy volunteering as a big buddy or mowing his neighbor's yard. This kind of guy seems like a people pleaser to me, and I don't find that attractive. I don't think this type of person is a bad person or anything, but I'd be more impressed if a man was spending his time learning new things; self improvement is more important to me than volunteering, and a person can be kind without being eager to save the world (an annoying trait). A guy who wastes his day trying to find the owner of a lost dog would annoy me. There are quicker, more effective ways to handle most situations.

 

I've also found that people who want to constantly help/please others neglect those closest to them. They often care more about what the world thinks of them than their SO.

[serial muse]

Man, this thread got shot down like you wouldn't believe!

 

Few women will admit they like to be dominated by jerks. Most women will give that malarky about wanting the nice, pushover dude. By the age of 25, the average dude realizes it's stupid to listen to women when they say they want a nice guy cuz it's b.s.

 

That's why LS dudes shot the OP down like it was a game of racketball. Post after post, dudes on this forum smacked the OP's definition of a "high quality male" without a moment's hesitation, like they were swatting a fly or something.

 

That's not what I saw.

 

Eh. The OP is happy with her non-jerk guy, and you are happily secure in your certainty that she's not telling the truth about her personal situation, or something, so win-win, I guess.

[Imajerk17]

Wrong! When I first met my H, I had also recently started spending time with a guy who turned out to be the CFO of a major national restaurant chain (guarantee that 75% of people on LS have eaten there before and everyone would recognize the name). He had all the externals we're debating here - he was hot, rich, had a nice car, was successful, etc.

 

Well guess what? He LOST to the "chump" I married, who is a fundraiser for a network of elderly care facilities (ie not rich!), loves elderly people, would give the shirt off his back to someone who needs it, constantly overtips at restaurants and hotels, etc. Oh, and he's overweight and balding. I couldn't be happier.

 

Now when we, on occasion, patronize said major national restaurant chain, my H feels like it's a charitable contribution to the CFO who lost me. "I got the girl, so out of pity we'll spend some money at his establishment."

 

Out of curiosity, why did the CFO lose, and how did the guy who is your now husband "win"?

[AD1980]

I think a high quality man is someone who not only cares about others, but also cares about being the best he can be. He not only wants to spend time on altruistic things, but he wants to spend time on improving himself and making the most of himself. He's intelligent, and therefore pursues a challenging and rewarding career path. He has a lot of interests and enjoys doing a lot of different things, so he is also fun to be with. He takes care of his body by staying fit and working out, and doesn't abuse it. He cares about how he looks, and wants to present his best self to the world, so he is well groomed and well dressed. His manners are impeccable, he's kind, compassionate, and has a passion in life. He has skills, and is able to do a lot of things. He's a good communicator, and takes an interest in world events and things outside of himself. He's evolved spiritually. He knows what he wants out of life, and goes for it with a passion. That's my definition of a quality man.

 

Politically correct way to say i want a hot man making a lot of money

[Lonely Ronin]

Out of curiosity, why did the CFO lose, and how did the guy who is your now husband "win"?

 

I second this question!

[AD1980]

I agree with this definition of "high quality." I could care less about a guy volunteering as a big buddy or mowing his neighbor's yard. This kind of guy seems like a people pleaser to me, and I don't find that attractive. I don't think this type of person is a bad person or anything, but I'd be more impressed if a man was spending his time learning new things; self improvement is more important to me than volunteering, and a person can be kind without being eager to save the world (an annoying trait). A guy who wastes his day trying to find the owner of a lost dog would annoy me. There are quicker, more effective ways to handle most situations.

 

I've also found that people who want to constantly help/please others neglect those closest to them. They often care more about what the world thinks of them than their SO.

 

Gotta love women doing noble things for other people[who isn't her] would turn them off :laugh: can't make it up