delilah123 Posted December 21, 2011 Share Posted December 21, 2011 I think the fact that a guy cheated on her says more about him then her. Unless she knowingly put up with it. But you make me think of a good point. She's in her 30's and settling for a nice guy. I want to see the hs girls and college girls, and twenty somethings going after the suposed quality man. not just the women approaching 40. Not that I have anything against women who are aproaching 40 or are 40 some are very hot... the great majority aren't Wait so you are complaining about how shallow women are always choosing tall hot rich men, then you continue to say "so what if the ugly 40 yr olds don't, I'm talking about getting hot 20 year olds".... The reason guys like you and the guys on this board in general don't pull is because you are all as shallow as the women u bang on about! You aren't happy for a women with a good personality but not attractive looking, so why should we settle? A quality man is someone who is honest, thoughtful, kind, witty, attractive (to his partner) and intellegent in my books anyway. Comments that many of the guys are posting in this thread do not reflect a lot of the reasonable qualities women are saying they want. That's your problem. Link to post Share on other sites
fitgirl Posted December 21, 2011 Share Posted December 21, 2011 Janesays your coudn't be more wrong. Women vote every day by who they decide to pay attention too. The rich guy who drives the nice car wins every time when up against some chump who spends all his free time mowing neighbors lawns and overtipping waitress who is already taken or atleast pregnant... This post couldn't be more wrong. janesays voted for quality. so did i. i get asked how could a hot girl like you settle for a fat guy. i didn't settle. i got everything i wanted. nice, kind, sweet, honest, humble, sense of humor, good job, good listener, remembers my b-day, treats me like a lady. all these girls around me pick the wrong guys and then complain and cry how unfair it is that their jerk boyfriend cheated on them while i'm getting married to mr. right in 3 months. Link to post Share on other sites
fitgirl Posted December 21, 2011 Share Posted December 21, 2011 I think quite a few men (and some women!) on here have a very odd definition of what constitutes a 'high quality' man. When you ask a man why he considers himself 'high quality,' he will always, without fail, cite his appearance, clothing, social status, and money. He will sometimes point out that he lives alone or tell you about which school he attended. If he's being very generous, he might even throw in some interesting spots he's vacationed to and/or a rare skill or two he's learned. This, of course, is supposed to make a woman's panties super duper wet. You know, because he's oh so 'high quality.' Sorry bro, that ain't it. You want to know what a high quality man looks like? Well, let me show you one: A high quality man volunteers his time as a big brother because he wants under privileged boys to have a strong male role model. He's the type of guy his friend who works third shift can call up at 3am for a ride because his car broke down. A high quality man will stop his car to catch a loose dog roaming the streets and spend the day looking for it's owner. He'll tip the pregnant server $20 'just because.' He mows his elderly neighbors lawn for her without her knowing because he knows how hard it is for her to ask for help. A high quality male remembers what your favorite flower is even though you only mentioned it in passing once 9 months ago. He's honest with you, even if what he says might hurt you, but he always speaks with compassion. A high quality man doesn't live outside his means, can plan for the future, and has a passion for something. In essence, he's the sort of guy who will take good care of you. Likewise, he's the sort of guy you want to take the very best care of yourself. As far as what he's wearing? Who cares?!?!?!?! bravo to you for choosing a high quality man. he's a keeper. those who mock you for your reasons are just jealous. Link to post Share on other sites
Oxy Moronovich Posted December 21, 2011 Share Posted December 21, 2011 I think the fact that a guy cheated on her says more about him then her. Unless she knowingly put up with it. But you make me think of a good point. She's in her 30's and settling for a nice guy. I want to see the hs girls and college girls, and twenty somethings going after the suposed quality man. not just the women approaching 40. Not that I have anything against women who are aproaching 40 or are 40 some are very hot... the great majority aren't Yeah, that's pretty much what I mean. If women have options between the bad boy and the OP's definition of a high quality man, they are generally going to choose the bad boy. But as the older women get, the fewer men approach them, and many have gotten burned or ignored by the bad boy too often. Therefore, they go to the nice guy who is around. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Janesays Posted December 21, 2011 Author Share Posted December 21, 2011 Granted, I am 32 now, but I've always gone for the nice guys. And I definitely don't feel like my options are limited now. Before my boyfriend, I had no lack of interest from men. When I was OLD there were weeks when I had 6-7 first dates lined up. Mostly with wealthy jerks, which explains why they never made it to date 2. *shrugs Link to post Share on other sites
manup Posted December 21, 2011 Share Posted December 21, 2011 how old were these wealthy jerks? Link to post Share on other sites
Taramere Posted December 21, 2011 Share Posted December 21, 2011 I had a friend who recently said he zones out whenever I, and others, tell him a story and he wonders how I even manage to remember little details he tells me; he can't even remember what he says to me. So, zoning out definitely is not being a good listener. Reminds me when I was with my ex and she use to say 'yep' and nod her head when I told her something. She would forget details and even stories that I've told her. Did she nod speedily and go "yep...yep" in that way that pretty much says "hurry up and spit it out or shut up so that I can talk"? Or was it in more of a zoned out "yeah, man..." kind of way? It's lovely to have a good listener, someone who doesn't necessarily have to input or feel the need to 'one-up' you with a 'better' story, someone who pays attention and actively show that they care about what you have to say. I think it makes you feel better if people remember things about you, but I think it also reflects more positively on them if they show the curiosity/information gathering skills that are involved in seeking out further information about a person or their situation. It's an interesting thing to observe on this board, where people are asking for advice on a situation they're in. Some will respond with a very cut and dried (or sometimes cookie-cutter) opinion, others will respond in a more exploratory way. I think I'm often guilty of doing the former rather than the latter...but the latter is the more ideal approach I think. It keeps the person engaged and interested, and also keeps them as the focal point of their thread. Link to post Share on other sites
EasyHeart Posted December 21, 2011 Share Posted December 21, 2011 I only skimmed through this thread, but I have to say I found the descriptions many of the ladies posted to be quite exhausting. I've always thought of myself as a pretty good person, but apparently I am nowhere close to being a "quality" man. I like women who smell nice and don't complain too much. Anything beyond that is just icing on the cake. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Janesays Posted December 21, 2011 Author Share Posted December 21, 2011 how old were these wealthy jerks? Varied. But close in age to me. Link to post Share on other sites
KathyM Posted December 21, 2011 Share Posted December 21, 2011 I have a question for the OP, and I don't mean to be contrary, but I'm just curious. The quote you have at the bottom of your posts says: "The soul longs for purity, but we all crave the spiced and exotic. Evil is just a word. And what no one sees; no one knows." Your quote is not congruent with what you're position is on this thread. Evil is just a word? What no one sees, no one knows? What's up with that? Just wondering. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Janesays Posted December 21, 2011 Author Share Posted December 21, 2011 I have a question for the OP, and I don't mean to be contrary, but I'm just curious. The quote you have at the bottom of your posts says: "The soul longs for purity, but we all crave the spiced and exotic. Evil is just a word. And what no one sees; no one knows." Your quote is not congruent with what you're position is on this thread. Evil is just a word? What no one sees, no one knows? What's up with that? Just wondering. Oh, it's just a quote from a favorite murder mystery of mine. In the story, the man leaves his gorgeous (but cruel) wife for his plain kind hearted secretary. So, his wife kills him. Good book, that's all. Link to post Share on other sites
serial muse Posted December 21, 2011 Share Posted December 21, 2011 (edited) I find it fascinating that you would have me believe women are as a majority impressed by the things the 32 year old virgin. Yes I was wrong to say a rich guy beats out poor guy 100% time. What I meant to say is that rich guy always beats poor guy when you look at the world as a entirety. Also the fact that her now husband makes a living fundraising points to some one who isn’t necessarily poor. So she never proved me wrong on what I will already admit was a wrong statement. She just pointed out that she could have been with a guy who was supposedly rich and instead went with some one who wasn’t rich? Never said he was poor. ...and I find it fascinating that you think that's what I said! Because it isn't. This is what's wrong with these boards. People don't bother reading. :rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes: Allow me to quote myself. Most relevant bits in bold. She wanted to be with the non-rich dude. She preferred who he is, as a person, which is what she clearly said. Why is that so hard for the guys on this forum to believe? I'm not saying that people never choose the good-looking, rich ******* over the average joe...sometimes, women do that. Sometimes, men do. But obviously, sometimes the nice guy/gal does win. None of this proves any hypothesis of any kind. See my .sig. I didn't say a majority of women do jack shxt, because I think that's stupid and trying to quantify the unquantifiable is an exercise in futility and frustration. I think different people choose different things for different reasons at different points in their lives. I think life isn't always fair. And I think men and women both struggle with dating for sometimes different, sometimes similar reasons. But all this bullshxt about how women are shallower than men, from men, is just so much Santa Ana wind: great big gusts of dry, hot air intended to start fires. Here's the thing, Dust. Come up with all the silly hypotheses you want. But what I strongly object to is these accusations that people are LYING or somehow misrepresenting their stories. You have no basis for that, and it's frankly bullshxt. Your ONLY reason for making that accusation was because you didn't want your hypothesis disproven. Well, trying to alter facts to fit one's hypothesis is the definition of shxtty science. And shxtty science is not going to convince anyone of anything they didn't already WANT to believe. Come back to the board with some real data and we'll talk. Until then, it's just hot air. She told her story, and a bunch of people want to tear it apart to further their own agendas. That's just sour grapes. Edited December 21, 2011 by serial muse Link to post Share on other sites
KathyM Posted December 21, 2011 Share Posted December 21, 2011 Oh, it's just a quote from a favorite murder mystery of mine. In the story, the man leaves his gorgeous (but cruel) wife for his plain kind hearted secretary. So, his wife kills him. Good book, that's all. Oh. Had to ask. It was a little distracting from the message of your philosophy in this thread. I wasn't understanding the incongruency. And I do agree very much with your philosophy that men who are altruistic, kind, compassionate and caring are good quality men, for sure. Link to post Share on other sites
dasein Posted December 21, 2011 Share Posted December 21, 2011 Is it too soon since the Penn State scandal to crack wise on this one? Great post, made me laugh and lots of good points. Link to post Share on other sites
Dust Posted December 21, 2011 Share Posted December 21, 2011 I am not feeling the term high quality.. but ok I will go with it out of respect to the OP. A high quality man to me equals someone who means what he says and can universally live well by those words/actions. Not bothered about wealth as the first priority. Money can be made easily enough, character and poise are a different level of concern that can carry a couple through all manner of ups and downs. Altogether, how one acknowledges and deals with their less brilliant points is probably most key. This is the what usually ruins relationship whether someone is rich or poor. Take care, Eve x haha yes the term High Quality man... not exactly romantic. Wait so you are complaining about how shallow women are always choosing tall hot rich men, then you continue to say "so what if the ugly 40 yr olds don't, I'm talking about getting hot 20 year olds".... The reason guys like you and the guys on this board in general don't pull is because you are all as shallow as the women u bang on about! You aren't happy for a women with a good personality but not attractive looking, so why should we settle? A quality man is someone who is honest, thoughtful, kind, witty, attractive (to his partner) and intellegent in my books anyway. Comments that many of the guys are posting in this thread do not reflect a lot of the reasonable qualities women are saying they want. That's your problem. How am I shallow because I stated the fact that there are more good looking women below 30 then over it. I'll even go on the record saying there are some 40 year old women who look better then most 20 year old women. Also realize that I do "pull" women as you call it just fine. I actually think its easy to get dates heck even sex. So I feel bad for the guys who in my opinion don't even try. I think the real struggle is finding some one who you love and still loves you back as the years go by. Bottom line its one thing for a small few of 30+ and women with children ect to say they want a "quality guy." The fact that this thread even exists proves that the "quality guy" isn't seen that way by the masses. It's like calling a handicapped person special. In the end this thread wouldn't have bothered me if it had been made from a different prospective. The fact that it is being made with the term Quality as in something to be measured too is what bothers me. janesays voted for quality. so did i. i get asked how could a hot girl like you settle for a fat guy. i didn't settle. i got everything i wanted. nice, kind, sweet, honest, humble, sense of humor, good job, good listener, remembers my b-day, treats me like a lady. all these girls around me pick the wrong guys and then complain and cry how unfair it is that their jerk boyfriend cheated on them while i'm getting married to mr. right in 3 months. A fat guy can cheat too, its not some magic protection. Funny that your name on here is fitgirl and your partner is unfitboy. If he had everything you wanted then obviously in shape wasn't on that list. You seem to acknowledge though that it is on others. In the end you have to live your life not some one elses. Thats why you should just be happy and not start or promote a definition of high quality. Because that definition will go against what this thread claims is the defintion. Granted, I am 32 now, but I've always gone for the nice guys. And I definitely don't feel like my options are limited now. Before my boyfriend, I had no lack of interest from men. When I was OLD there were weeks when I had 6-7 first dates lined up. Mostly with wealthy jerks, which explains why they never made it to date 2. *shrugs For every wealthy jerk their exists over a hundred poor jerks... I'm happy for you really, just stop trying to hoist your definition upon us. I know first hand that I don't want to be like your man and that people I know who resemble your man are rewarded with nothing but pain. (I'm reading between the lines big time) It's an interesting thing to observe on this board, where people are asking for advice on a situation they're in. Some will respond with a very cut and dried (or sometimes cookie-cutter) opinion, others will respond in a more exploratory way. I think I'm often guilty of doing the former rather than the latter...but the latter is the more ideal approach I think. It keeps the person engaged and interested, and also keeps them as the focal point of their thread. The only thing you're guilty of is making all the best posts. I always enjoy reading what you have to say. Here's the thing, Dust. Come up with all the silly hypotheses you want. But what I strongly object to is these accusations that people are LYING or somehow misrepresenting their stories. You have no basis for that, and it's frankly bullshxt. Your ONLY reason for making that accusation was because you didn't want your hypothesis disproven. Well, trying to alter facts to fit one's hypothesis is the definition of shxtty science. And shxtty science is not going to convince anyone of anything they didn't already WANT to believe. Come back to the board with some real data and we'll talk. Until then, it's just hot air. She told her story, and a bunch of people want to tear it apart to further their own agendas. That's just sour grapes. I'm just here to post for fun. I have a lifetime of my own experiences that say otherwise to what the OP believes. I'm not calling any one a liar I'm just saying they are wrong. As far as data/science don't expect it from me I'm here just to post not to write a research paper. If you have any science feel free to share it. You get angry because you know I'm correct. I have the easier argument in that I just have to say "no thats not the definition of quality man." Link to post Share on other sites
AD1980 Posted December 21, 2011 Share Posted December 21, 2011 Wait so you are complaining about how shallow women are always choosing tall hot rich men, then you continue to say "so what if the ugly 40 yr olds don't, I'm talking about getting hot 20 year olds".... The reason guys like you and the guys on this board in general don't pull is because you are all as shallow as the women u bang on about! You aren't happy for a women with a good personality but not attractive looking, so why should we settle? A quality man is someone who is honest, thoughtful, kind, witty, attractive (to his partner) and intellegent in my books anyway. Comments that many of the guys are posting in this thread do not reflect a lot of the reasonable qualities women are saying they want. That's your problem. Quite an assumption for men on here..Theyre have been women ive had women friends tell me go to talk to at a bar or somewhere and try to set me up i didnt think were attractive at all but tried to see if it went anywhere and they shot me down worse then attratcive women... The idea average or unattratcive women will automatically be receptive to guys near their level isnt true all the time either.. If im gonna get rejected and put down harshly anyway i might as well shoot for women im attracted to even if their above my "league".. I dont need to be put down harshly by blah looking women im not even attracted to Link to post Share on other sites
GoodOnPaper Posted December 22, 2011 Share Posted December 22, 2011 I only skimmed through this thread, but I have to say I found the descriptions many of the ladies posted to be quite exhausting. I've always thought of myself as a pretty good person, but apparently I am nowhere close to being a "quality" man. Me too . . . the LS women really build up their guys to sound like perfection -- I can't imagine any woman, even my wife, thinking that objectively high about me. The vast majority of us guys fall in that broadest region of the spectrum that most people call "regular" or "average" -- often because of counter-balancing qualities. In my case, my above-average education and career stability are undermined by my below-average looks and social prowess. How can we "regular" guys ever hope to reach these seemingly unattainable benchmarks of "quality"? THAT is the communication disconnect between men and women on this issue . . . Link to post Share on other sites
SJC2008 Posted December 22, 2011 Share Posted December 22, 2011 To a smart woman a high quality man is affectionate, honest, and loyal, one who will protect her and the family, one who wont "one up" her if a better looking woman comes along. To a dumb woman a man who looks hot in an affliction shirt. Nuff said, out! Link to post Share on other sites
SteveC80 Posted December 22, 2011 Share Posted December 22, 2011 Problem is these vapid broads have grown up on Paris Hilton Kim K etc theyre defitnion of a good man is mostly shallow and how much money he makes Life is one big shopping mall to these women Link to post Share on other sites
Titania22 Posted December 22, 2011 Share Posted December 22, 2011 My thoughts on what defines a high quality person is their intention. Whatever they do or don't do, it's the intention behind it that matters to me. Link to post Share on other sites
U1987 Posted December 22, 2011 Share Posted December 22, 2011 A high quality man will stop his car to catch a loose dog roaming the streets and spend the day looking for it's owner. I'm studying biomedical science, and believe me, approaching a strange animal you don't know is one of the DUMBEST things you can do How are you supposed to know if it's a dog just recently lost from its owner or a stray? Do you know how many diseases you can get if it is a stray? Rabies? Tetanus? Lyme Disease? Hantavirus? A high quality man volunteers his time as a big brother because he wants under privileged boys to have a strong male role model. He's the type of guy his friend who works third shift can call up at 3am for a ride because his car broke down. He'll tip the pregnant server $20 'just because.' He mows his elderly neighbors lawn for her without her knowing because he knows how hard it is for her to ask for help. A high quality male remembers what your favorite flower is even though you only mentioned it in passing once 9 months ago. He's honest with you, even if what he says might hurt you, but he always speaks with compassion. A high quality man doesn't live outside his means, can plan for the future, and has a passion for something. In essence, he's the sort of guy who will take good care of you. Likewise, he's the sort of guy you want to take the very best care of yourself. That's all well and good, but I honestly ask, how on earth is a guy supposed to portray/put out these qualities? What I mean is, if he's interested in a certain girl, how is he supposed to let her know that he does all of these things? As far as what he's wearing? Who cares?!?!?!?! This is highly disingenuous. Many women DO care what a man wears. Link to post Share on other sites
dasein Posted December 22, 2011 Share Posted December 22, 2011 I'm studying biomedical science, and believe me, approaching a strange animal you don't know is one of the DUMBEST things you can do How are you supposed to know if it's a dog just recently lost from its owner or a stray? Do you know how many diseases you can get if it is a stray? Rabies? Tetanus? Lyme Disease? Hantavirus? Not that I'm chasing down animals these days, but rabies isn't exactly an epidemic, same for the others. You are more likely to catch crabs from a toilet seat. I don't chase down stray animals because they are fast and I am not. Link to post Share on other sites
U1987 Posted December 22, 2011 Share Posted December 22, 2011 No, you misunderstand. HE'S special. When I was dating, do you know how many guys would try to impress me with their money? They'd throw cash around like it was going out of style, brag about their expensive purchases like I'd care. I don't. I have my own money. Besides, I want to date a man, not an ATM. I also have a policy...never date anyone prettier than myself. So the meat head who spends hours at the gym is out. Ever sit on the couch, AS THE WOMAN, ands wait for your date to get ready? I have. It's not fun. Vanity isn't sexy. No, I don't like the man who goes around posturing to be the best man in the room. Why is he focusing on the other men on the room anyway when could bbe kissing me? My man has his priorities straight. That, my friends, is hard to find. I feel like he's some secret treasure that I snatched up in the knick of time. Janesays, everything you've described up to this point describes a man who appeals to YOU. You've done little to nothing to describe a man who appeals to WOMEN IN GENERAL. Link to post Share on other sites
U1987 Posted December 22, 2011 Share Posted December 22, 2011 Not that I'm chasing down animals these days, but rabies isn't exactly an epidemic, same for the others. Yeah because most people know it's not a good idea to approach strange animals (like Janesays says "quality men" should do) and call Animal Control when they encounter one. Link to post Share on other sites
U1987 Posted December 22, 2011 Share Posted December 22, 2011 But you make me think of a good point. She's in her 30's and settling for a nice guy. I want to see the hs girls and college girls, and twenty somethings going after the suposed quality man. not just the women approaching 40. Ditto. Like I said, I'm in college. I'm not interested in what 30-40 year old women want. I'm more interested in what 18-25 year old girls want. Link to post Share on other sites
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