alexa137 Posted December 20, 2011 Share Posted December 20, 2011 his is kinda a continuation from the previous post of "dos and donts" i finally got a response well somewhat! so i say-guess just hoping you would respond but i get the hint i will leave you alone he says "wow" so i respond" why wow? seriously i have fallen for you lov being with you but i have no idea how you feel he says , right now i dont know how i feel me: i asked you 2 mths ago for a 2nd chance and then we start talking and having sex again so im thinking hmmm... me: well i dont know me: you know enough to have sex with me and invite me to stay the night no response!!!!!!!!!!!! unbelievable!! Link to post Share on other sites
Thieves Posted December 21, 2011 Share Posted December 21, 2011 i finally got a response well somewhat! Alexa, you didn't get a response 'somewhat'. You received a response, period. Simply because he didn't answer all of the questions you asked when you confronted him doesn't mean you didn't get any important answers from him, because honestly, just from the bit of conversation you've provided us here... it's easy enough to tell that you would be extremely better off to just move on and leave this guy to his own life. And an interesting thing about people is that it's not often if they answer your questions, but how they answer them when they do... He said he "doesn't know" twice throughout that conversation. Obviously, he 'knew' enough at some point (like you said) to sleep with you. He also knew enough about how he 'felt' to ask you to stay the night, too. So, if he 'knew' that much, you can bet he probably does know enough now to give you a better answer than just, "Well, I don't know." However, the real answer might not be the one you want to hear, and so that may be why he's so hesitant to say so. If this is the second time around and it's turning out like this, maybe it would be a wise move to step back and examine whether you really think this guy is worth the trouble... Link to post Share on other sites
twinkles Posted December 21, 2011 Share Posted December 21, 2011 Well Alexa, I'll give him props for replying but it's just not what you wanted to hear was it. Think of a time you said to a man that you weren't sure or you weren't ready for a relationship etc...why did you tell the guy that? Think hard. If you were young kids I'd say ok they have a long dating future ahead of them and maybe they are just trying to figure things out. Come on Alexa don't kid yourself the two of you aren't youngsters. You know what you want in this relationship. You know your feelings. You have experience in the relationship world. This guy is old enough to know what he wants too. Don't let him tell you otherwise. At this point in his life those are just cop out words. Don't waste anymore of your valuable time. There are alot of guys waiting for you..go find one. What a piece of work. Good on you for that last line. He showed his true colours. He's just waiting for something better to come along. Sorry that he can't see the beauty in you but please see it in yourself. Link to post Share on other sites
esteem-jam Posted December 21, 2011 Share Posted December 21, 2011 Alexa, from a guy`s perspective I can tell you that he does not like you. See, if I liked a girl, I would know that its my duty to carry her on my arms (as much as I can) and massage her feet. This looks nothing like that (Ive seen your other thread). Maybe hes uncertain about this relationship because youre pressuring him with marriage and kids (?) and hes rationalising if he can "carry" it. But nevertheless, he would give you full detailed answers if he was so into you, and this is nothing like that. You have gotten into a pattern where he can do whatever he wants and he still has you (no worries, Im in this pattern too, sucks). This is a real hard one to break. You got to change something in your life- looks, education, hobbies. If this stays like this, you know how it will go (wont go at all). Theres a proverb: If you do what you always did, you gonna get what you always got. Youre very (!) free to do something else different way. Link to post Share on other sites
Author alexa137 Posted December 21, 2011 Author Share Posted December 21, 2011 In no way am i pressuring him with marriage or kids def not! i am 41 yrs old with a 15yr old and DO NOT want kids! he has 1 son(hes 35) and he doesnt want kids either! yesi know what i want and thats a real relationship! what kills the most is that we are 100% a match on match.com and all his dating profiles he says he is looking for a woman who isnt into playing games and is serious and i fit in that category. everything was so good when we dated may-aug, i guess second chances usually dont work out i am gonna try my best to move on and try to get over him its so damn hard, most people just dont understand my situation. and try to give me suggestions and tell me this and that but you gotta realize i dont work i cant find a job i dont have money so i am home 24/7 everyday. i dont have famiyl other than my mom and i dont have friends, and the ones i do have either ar ebusy working and with 3 or 4 kids or live too far away so iam literally home alone all day on the computer going crazy! crying and sleeping thats all i do the only place i go is the grocery store 2 or 3 times a week- and please dont tell me to do this and that etc...i have tried everything and everywhere to find a job and no luck! Link to post Share on other sites
Author alexa137 Posted December 21, 2011 Author Share Posted December 21, 2011 how can you say that he doesnt like me! i disagree! i mean really, if you didnt like someone would you take them to dinner , the movies, bowling, miniature golf, batting cages, walks at the park, a family wedding, a family day party, meet parents, a dr appt, hang out with his son, take long drives, etc.... invite me over ,spend the night etc... i can go on Link to post Share on other sites
esteem-jam Posted December 21, 2011 Share Posted December 21, 2011 Im sorry if I offended you with my previous post, it was not an attack. You had any info about his previous relationship- maybe you happened to be his rebound? Maybe he was massively "injured" and you were someone to spend time with? Link to post Share on other sites
Author alexa137 Posted December 21, 2011 Author Share Posted December 21, 2011 no i dont know too much from his previous relationships other than his sons mother they dont get along very well i think because she trapped him by getting pregnant, but now she is remarried, i think he mentioned dating someone for a few months after her-i really cant figure him out because hes not the type to talk much especially about personal stuff and his feelings, the only thing that i remember him telling me about a month after we started dating was that he liked how he felt about me, but i guess my actions turned him off, but i wish i would have nevered emailed him i was doing so good with the no contact thing but its so hard when i see him on all the dating sites as a perfect match! so he is s till looking i guess men dont want a good woman who only had 1 kid, her life together and who likes to stay home and not go out and party and be a slut- im not crazy just looking for a man who wants to spend time with me and go out and h ave fun or just stay home and chill-i like to watch movies and cook and sports. we had so much fun the first few months we dated. like i told him i would rather you just tell me the truth than play with my feelings, at least i would know, but to get a response like " i dont know how i feel" is unbelievable!i mean either you like someone or you dont either you want to be with them or you dont! i would love to get in some mens heads and try to understand them! and so why was my comment about kids bad/ or whatever? i just said i dont want anymore too old im done Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts