nowwhatnow Posted December 21, 2011 Share Posted December 21, 2011 I dont even know where to begin. Ive known him since high school. and most of the time ive known him i was dating someone else. and he never understood why i liked my ex. its been over a year since my break up and in that year i started falling for him. he is different now. he is more grown up and i am no longer with someone. and ive been waiting to see how i feel to make sure this is not just a rebound. and i know its not. hes leaving soon and he wont be back for 6 months. lately all i can think about is him and wanting to tell him how i feel. but even in moments when i want to drive to his apartment and tell him i stop and chicken out. maybe if i tell him before he goes he will be able to think about it. or maybe if he rejects me ill have that time away from him to try and move on. what do you think LS? Link to post Share on other sites
cerridwen Posted December 21, 2011 Share Posted December 21, 2011 (edited) Oh yes. Tell him. Muster the courage and do it. If there's one reason to risk hurt, it's for love. The reward is too great not to try. Think you'll try? Edited December 21, 2011 by cerridwen Link to post Share on other sites
SincereOnlineGuy Posted December 21, 2011 Share Posted December 21, 2011 I vote "drive to his apartment and tell him" (emboldened by... {some pep-talk you give yourself intended to have just that sort of result} ) First of all, (heterosexual) males don't maintain friendships with eligible women outside of work/family/neighborhood reasons when the chief priority of those guys isn't to pursue romance and/or get into her pants. So look back with a different perspective on that friendship, and consider his "not understanding why you liked your ex" more in the way of a sign that (THIS GUY) HAS ALWAYS been into you romantically. Go forth and let him know... Link to post Share on other sites
cerridwen Posted December 21, 2011 Share Posted December 21, 2011 I vote "drive to his apartment and tell him" (emboldened by... {some pep-talk you give yourself intended to have just that sort of result} ) First of all, (heterosexual) males don't maintain friendships with eligible women outside of work/family/neighborhood reasons when the chief priority of those guys isn't to pursue romance and/or get into her pants. So look back with a different perspective on that friendship, and consider his "not understanding why you liked your ex" more in the way of a sign that (THIS GUY) HAS ALWAYS been into you romantically. Go forth and let him know... Mmmm. Could very well be true. We women sometimes aren't too swift on the uptake with that kind of stuff. OP, SOG may be onto something here. Link to post Share on other sites
Author nowwhatnow Posted December 21, 2011 Author Share Posted December 21, 2011 i still dont know what i will do. i think now that i want to tell him but when i am with it i can never seem to "muster the courage." and he has a couple female friends. so i dont know if he is really into me. sometimes i think he is and sometimes it is obvious he isnt. that is why this is so scary. Link to post Share on other sites
SincereOnlineGuy Posted December 22, 2011 Share Posted December 22, 2011 I promise you that, IF you muster up that courage and express your feelings for him CLEARLY (and you owe me, as well as him, CLARITY!!!)... at the very worst, YOU yourself will feel so enriched for having dared to communicate so effectively. And indeed he may have "a couple of female friends"... and while that does indeed imply that he is into them, what would matter most is who reciprocates those romantic feelings. IF YOU manage to convey your true feelings, AND IF you do so before anything could happen with those others, or anybody else who might fall, romantically, into his path (under his spell?)... then you'd have the inside track to his heart. In what other way can you envision getting that inside track to his heart?? ps - tune into ladder theory dot calm (trying to keep from getting the 24-hour delay on my post) for more understanding about those female friends he talks about. Link to post Share on other sites
Eddie Edirol Posted December 22, 2011 Share Posted December 22, 2011 I vote you dont tell him, you show him. I get the impression that youre scared because you didnt get any clues that he likes you. Even if he likes you, "ive fallen for you" is too heavy for a new relationship. It puts all the pressure on him, and thats no good, unless he fell for you too. Theres a 50/50 chance of that, and you instinctively dont want to take that chance. So I say you do it with more subtlety. Flirt with him, touch him, smile at him, hug him more...ask him on dates, give him more body language, turn up the heat. You can gauge his feelings better that way. Do it the natural way you would date a guy you just met. Only difference is you have more chemistry. You will know when its time to move in for a kiss. Up until that point, you wil find out for sure if he is into you, and then if he isnt, you wont feel humiliated. Link to post Share on other sites
Author nowwhatnow Posted December 23, 2011 Author Share Posted December 23, 2011 sometimes he goes out of his way to see me but others he is just the hardest guy in the world to get in contact with. it freaks me out not knowing what hes feeling. ill have to gauge the situation when i see him. i really am going back in forth Link to post Share on other sites
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